Dominique Update

Written By bryanboy

Niece Update

I know absolutely nothing when it comes to babies. When I got photos of my niece (2 months and a few weeks old) via email, the first thing that came to mind was: "that kid is gonna be fat when she grows up". Where are the cheekbones?? Where’s the chin? My Edina Monsoon/Chanel of Babies/Models 1 dreams just went down the shitter. Just kidding. She’s quite adorable. I can’t wait for her to speak. When do infants start talking anyway? I know there’s a lot of you mothers out there.

Anyway, niece is gonna be baptized in a few weeks. From invitations to party preparations, the familia de horreur is making a huge deal out of it. What is it with kids these days? I swear to god, all the kids now are so spoiled it’s not even funny anymore.

I think it was a year or two ago when one of my cousins threw a birthday party for her son. It was an elaborate affair for a one-year old child. Every single detail was executed with meticulous preparation. Case in point: these mineral water bottle labels, which my mom took notice… and kept… after all these years.

Guess who was assigned the lovely task of designing mineral water bottle labels for his niece? Ugh.

Don’t you just LOOOOOOOOOOOOVEE the frills and the frivolity of it all?

I don’t. I already have wayyy too many things on my plate. UGHHHH.


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