Who the hell goes on "lunch" dates?

Written By bryanboy

Note to self: do not go on "lunch" dates. EVER!

Ugh. I have a headache. Worst day ever.


I finally agreed to go on a fucking lunch date (yes, date as in a real date date date) with someone who’s been pestering me for the past few days. I think it’s about time for me to go to one of those cheesy tacky dates where two people sit on the opposite sides of the table and concoct stories about themselves, polyester tie optional. Hello… I’m not getting any younger and my biological clock is ticking. If I don’t go on a date now, I’m gonna end up like Leona Helmsley with no one beside her deathbed other than her dog.

Click click click!

It was all fine and dandy. I heard what he had to say about himself (interesting job) and got a free meal in the process. One of the best things about dating someone a little older than you (he’s 28… don’t push it) is the fact that they always pay for things whereas try to date someone younger and you become a sugar azucarera de mama by default.

Everything went perfect as planned. He wasn’t as bad as what I thought and I think he liked me. By perfect, meaning we’re gonna see each other again soon, this time, at night, we’ll have booze and then my ass is gonna be the sacrificial lamb afterwards. Skiing, bb, raw power bottom here I come! Eeeew. Just kidding.

After lunch, we strolled around the area to burn off calories and tried to look for a place to have coffee and this small group of girls came up to us and sorta ruined the moment. You see, I didn’t tell the guy about my site. He knows absolutely nothing about it. I also didn’t tell him about this "bryanboy" character. It’s a decision that I made beforehand. I don’t want to overwhelm him too much. I mean, most of you
already know that I separate my personal life with everything else.

Girl #2: OH MY GOD CAN I TAKE A PICTURE? (runs beside me and thrusts a cellphone in front of us)
Girl #3: Is that your boyfriend? WAIT ME TOO! (takes a photo of me)

Me: Uh — yeah — um — yeah, sure you can take a — *click*
— uhhhh — yeah — hi — *click* um NO he’s not my *click* thanks

Once they got their pictures, they said thanks and left. It all
happened too fast it was insane. I just stood there, lit a cigarette
and tried to compose myself.

Guy: What was that about? Why are they calling you Bryanboy?

Oh that’s nothing. I think they thought I was somebody else so I went to play along with it.

Bollocks. Tell me what’s that about, Bryan. (He wasn’t pissed, more like shocked — and amused — at the same time.)

Ok fine. When I was six years old, there used to be a popular children’s tv show in this country called Batibot and I was in it for
like two years. It’s like Sesame Street. I don’t know why people take pictures of me now that I’m well, older and I don’t do TV. I hate the TV. TV is for nasty people.

Oh right. (I think he got a hint that I didn’t want to talk about it.) Coffee?

You know what, I think I’m gonna head off now. That was like so awkward. *dials for driver* But we’ll see each other again soon, yeah?

Don’t be spoilsport, come on, one coffee. One drink, Bryanboy.

You did NOT call me that!!! No, I really have to go. I’m late for errands. It’s almost 4PM.

(more begging/pleading blah blah no I can’t blah blah)

Guy: Ok then. Call me yeah?

Yeah. I will. Nice to see you.


Guy: See you BryanBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYY! (He said that really loud and with his accent, it was funny and embarassing at the same time.)


My driver: Sir ano yun? Bakit sumisigaw yun?  (translation: Sir, what’s that? Why is he screaming?)

I died.

Batibot eh? Where the hell did that fucking came from?


  1. gossipgirl

    what’s the point of lying. didn’t u think he would google the work ‘bryanboy’ and see ur blog soon as he got home? read this entry even for sure, hehe.

  2. no it’s not infatuation or love. don’t be silly. it’s only a lunch date and nothing else.
    i can’t believe it either. those girls really ruined it! i mean, i don’t have problems with it — i mean hello, i’m the biggest attention whore EVER and i love it when people come up to me to say hi. but today was one of those days. it was kinda embarassing cause poor guy had NO clue about bryanboy, my site and my silly online antics

  3. i don’t think it’s lying. keeping something to yourself (ie. withholding certain things) is not “lying” per se compared to, say, denying a fact.
    when he asked what was THAT all about, i had no time to think. the words i said (batibot) slipped out of my mouth so effortlessly.
    one day when i’m ready i’ll tell him about my site. we’re all entitled to a little bit of privacy and bloggers are entitled to lives OUTSIDE their website.
    i just don’t want to ruin the moment, you know? it’s already hard meeting people who don’t know about my site. I DON’T WANT MY LIFE TO REVOLVE AROUND MY SITE.

  4. bryanboy

    also, i don’t think he’s the internet sort of person let alone be the online stalkerazzi type. he seems to be the sort of type who couldn’t care any less. the only ones who make an effort trying to dig dirt on others are severe nutcases. =)

  5. you should be ashamed of yourself you manipulative piece of shit. just because you’re famous it doesn’t mean you can manipulate people.
    liar liar liar. can’t you be honest and tell him about your blog? you’re famous. get over it. you made your deathbed now go lie on it.

  6. You really make my day! Love you Bryanboy. I’d do the same if I see you somewhere. Hahaha.

  7. You go bryanboy! I think you have every right to live your life the way you want. Even you are entitled to your privacy. But if I saw you at the mall I’d take a picture of you too hahaha…

  8. Philipp

    I think the guy has a European accent, I bet he is either from Northern Europe or Germany/Switzerland.

  9. Awww… How kyut!!! Bryan Boy is growing up! lol
    How could he not know about your site? What, does he live under a rock?
    You should tell him before he finds out on his own…

  10. Ate Siena

    Pag mulat ng mata, langit nakatawa sa Batibot, sa Batibot…hahahahahaha!

  11. oh my bryanboy! im just sooo happy for you. when can we have that lunch date kaya? just kidding.
    pong pagong isthatchu? ning-ning? or ging-ging?

  12. aww… refreshing. something not very fashion-y. that’s a nice post. finally, the verbal diarrhea we’ve all been waiting for.

  13. Haha. You are lucky to find such a guy.
    I’m jealous.
    By the way, I added your link in my blog post. Woot!

  14. Pussy girl

    Bryan boy! I was really happy for you bitch. Like this is one of the best gay stories about relationship with real as in REALLLL!!!! < men. Oh my ass. && you should really see that guy again. YOU SHOULD. lovely couple.

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