Slim Jims: Only in Estados Unidos

Written By bryanboy

Slim Jim: Only in America

One of the members of my familia de horreur just got back from the USA land of the fatties and home of the brave and they thought of me when they bought this shit. Meet the most ridiculous food (FOOD???) entity I have EVER seen in my entire life, even more ridiculous than jerky. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Slim Jim.

Snap into a slim jim!
slim jim

I’m honestly at a loss of words. This Slim Jim shit is crazy y’all, crazy I’m telling you. I could only imagine the people who eat this sort of crap lives in a trailer park in Kentucky somewhere. Y’all know I love the trailer class but this thing, whatever it is, has the colour of a turd and it looks like a small twig as thin and as big as a cigarette. It tastes like peppered cardboard. OILY peppered cardboard. It’s crunchy when you bite it but as soon as you start munching, it’s like chewing rubber. Gross.

Click click click!

Slim Jim is soo slim…

slim jim

slim jim

… but there’s nothing so slim about it. Each slim jim contains 150 calories, 80% of those are FAT.

slim jim

I also learned something new today.

In America, they have terms like "mechanically separated chicken" which means "chicken ass and chicken bones grinded into a machine" in real world terms.

Slim Jim is made out of "mechanically separated chicken" so go figure.

I don’t understand how people could eat this sort of thing. It’s soo not right!

But then again, I just ate 4 of these so cry me a river.

Never again.

I"m going to hell. I know that.

Now if you excuse me, I’m gonna go to the toilet and shove some fingers down my throat.



  2. Christine

    Ugh tell me about it. Do you have any idea how hard it is to maintain a good figure when you are surrounded by shit like this EVERY SINGLE DAY?

  3. Alex Luna

    yea they’re so gross, maybe you’d like one of there other flavors?

  4. EWWW! It looks horrible, looks like a dick that just popped out of a greasy ass!

  5. hulk hogan used to do the commercials back in the day. youtube that shit, it’s hilarious…

  6. HAHA! It was sold at 7-11 in sg but then now they dun have it anymore..i guess no one actually like a stick looking beef..

  7. Look at the obese ugly American and don`t do what they do, if you don`t want to look that way.

  8. Look at the obese ugly American and don`t do what they do, if you don`t want to look that way.

  9. Look at the obese ugly American and don`t do what they do, if you don`t want to look that way.

  10. Triscuit Wheatsworth III

    I once ate a slim jim because I was absolutely starving doing a road trip, and they were in a big plastic jar at the 711 counter.
    They tasted like cotton stuffed into the plastic endings that shoelaces get stuffed into. Nasty.
    Meat in America is foul, just read Fast Food Nation. The FDA doesn’t do crap, its very corrupt.
    I became a vegetarian, problem solved.

  11. BB please stop using “at a loss of words” already, it’s “at a loss for words”. And it’s wrong to say “grinded”, it’s “ground”. Sorry for the Nazi-ism, I can’t help it when I see something that needs correction.

  12. Southboy

    Quoting James:
    “Bryanboy, please stop saying “y’all”. You’re not from the south.”
    James, bryanboy doesn’t give a damn, alright?

  13. I love your site and this post made me feel homesick for my bro who’s a healthworker in the US.
    I noticed you said in your wishlist that you want to write in a magazine, I would love to read your articles, seriously.
    I think I’m your fan now. :D More power!

  14. breeeeeeee- slim jim lover

    slim jims are the best , i love them
    and you got like the biggest one there are actually small slim jims that are like 6 inches long but there are also like 13 inch ones [ my fav. ]

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