Technology Upgrade

Written By bryanboy

Technology Schmology

The universe must be sending me a sign when my ginormous 17-inch Sony Vaio died a few weeks ago. That ginormous baby is about 3 years old, which is pretty much geriatric — a senior citizen — in technology terms. I know I could easily go to the Sony service center here, get it fixed and give it an upgrade but the amount of time, money and patience I’m gonna end up spending is not worth it. Giving old computers an upgrade is like giving an 80 year old bitch a botox and a face-lift. No amount of nip, tuck, pulling and stretching can bring an old hag back to her former glory. I’d rather buy a brand new one. In fact, I have another HP laptop I got about a year and a half ago and I’m already sick of it.

Imagine my surprise when I saw the Olga Sherer of notebook computers at the mall a few days ago. I had to stop, gawk and admire that little skinny piece of shit like Michael Biserta‘s huge cockerel piece and the guys gone wild girl bitches who screamed OWWWW MYYYYYY GAWWWWWWD.

Sony Vaio
Sony Vaio

And OOWWWW MYYYY GAWWWD I bloody screamed indeed.

That thing is probably made out of cardboard… you never know. HAHAHAHA. I didn’t go inside the store because I know myself and my spending habits. I’m such an impulse buyer! While we all buy fashion and accessories thinking about the short term, computers, on the other hand, require special attention.  The way I look at it is this: buying technology is like trying to find buying a boyfriend. The same rules apply whenever we go out there and try to find ourselves a decent man. Not that I buy guys, I’m wayyy too gorgeous for that shit. Last time I checked, I still get cruised by old farts… I have a big market out there! Hot sex pays me not the other way around if you know what I mean.

Click click click!

Bryanboy’s Computer Buying Tips

Man holding a laptop

  • Must be VERY young and very useful.

    The younger the better. This is where it’s perfectly legal to snatch someone’s cradle.

  • Must be rich (in features, DUH), powerful and strong.

    It’s important that your newfound baby is capable of doing several things like work on word documents, spreadsheets, photochop, browse the internet, have iTunes open AND watch "Groovin’ Grannies: Grannies Gone Wild Creampie Edition" AT THE SAME TIME.

  • Must have a big cock, err, I mean, memory (and lots of storage space).

    You want someone/something to remember your birthday, anniversaries and your great grand mother’s cousin’s husband’s stepfather’s favorite food. I don’t know about you but I want to make sure the person I’m going out with is capable of remembering everything. I have short-attention span you see. What goes into the right ear comes out of the left ear faster than you say baboosh. This is why you need lots of storage space — to keep EVERYTHING!

  • Must come with all the bells, whistles, sugar, spice and everything nice to make a hot & horny Lolita nymphomaniac like me happy.

    USB ports… check! Wireless mouse capability… check! Wi-fi… check! Good video card for playing sim city… check! Virus scanner… check! 

  • But most
    importantly, he must be nice-looking.

    Heck, I know LOTS of girls, real, chic girls, who sacrifice their dignities (and aesthetics) by going out with these rich and powerful men. Except my asscrack is prettier than some of these guys. For real. Go buy one of them fashion magazines and you’ll see what I’m
    talking about. You got the hot pro-ana babe in Valentino haute couture and you’ve got the guy who looks like a foot and no amount of Brioni can save his bucktooth ass. Sometimes I wonder how the hell they sleep
    at night. Do they sleep in separate beds? True love, you ask? Never mind the fact that he’s fug. If a blowjob means access to the lear jet, the  mansions, the jewels, the furs and a cool new python Nancy Gonzales bag every month, then so be it.

    On second thought, give me the burger-flipping blond jackass any day at least when I have kids in the future they’re gonna look pretty. OK FINE. Perhaps not WAYYY too good looking because we all know most HOT HOT HOT guys are dense, they got no substance, no personality and worse, no money. He has em all!  But then again, would you want to be seen canoodling with a fugly piece of
    bajillionaire shit IN PUBLIC? Shame on you for choosing money over morals.

    Oh who am I kidding. I have a fashion
    addiction to fund!!!!! So yeah…. in the end, he must be presentable at the very least. Either way, there has to be balance because nobody is perfect. Except for me… but then again, I’m immortal so I’m pretty much out of the equation here. If you find someone perfect, by perfect meaning wealthy, powerful AND good-looking, chances are, they end up dead. Like JFK Jr. LOL.

See? That’s all you need, really.


Now the big question is… should I go for a PC Laptop or a MacBook Pro?

I’ll be honest here.

I’ve never, EVER, EVER been a Mac user. I’ve never owned a Mac, haven’t used a Mac for longer than 2 minutes.

MAC make-up yes, oh man, I love MAC lip glass, their concealer (NC35)
and their foundation… but other than that, no, I’ve never owned a Mac
computer before. I’ve always had this mentality that Mac people are
second-rate, dumbass citizens, you know, "all looks and no function".

Every time I’ve seen someone use their MacBook, the number one
program they have open is iTunes.

I mean really, other than fucking
iTunes, what else can you run on a bloody Mac? iLife? iMovie? iDick? iPussy? iPorn? iAmsuchaloser?

Also, Mac users have given me endless headaches, e-mailing from time to time saying they’re having problems viewing my site.

Windows PCs on the other hand are, well, they’re familiar and nice.

I once went to the Apple store here in the third world to see a MacBook in action and to be honest with you, my experience lasted 30 seconds.

For real!

All I remember was… there’s a bunch of buttons at the bottom of the screen.

That’s all.

By the way, someone told me that there’s no "right-click" function on the mouse and no shortcuts, meaning I can’t really use undo/copy/paste/save as.

Oh dear. Oh my.

With all of that being said, y’all gotta admit though that Mac Books are sexy. Some are white, some are black but either way, they both look good.

You can also buy those cheap rubber plastic sticker things that you can put on the cover of your notebook to give it some punch. Personally-speaking I don’t like them sticker things because they make it look like a bloody plastic mat.

Oh I don’t know anymore.

Maybe I should swallow my pride and haul my fat ass back to the Apple store once again, do a test drive and get me one of these shiny, shimmering white knights? Forget the learning curve, maybe it’s worth it?

MacBook Pro photo via ebay
Man holding a laptop

Thing is, if I get a Mac, that means I need to get new things, too.

I need to get a new digital camera that’s Mac-compatible, I need to get a video camera that’s also Mac-compatible. I need to get all sorts of things like software, blah blah blah. Thinking about it makes me want to throw up.

Buying a computer is really just like buying a man. You can’t just buy him on his own, you need to get him some nice shoes, too!

Well, what do you think?

As always, email me and tell me you love me. My email address is

I love you all!


  1. All you have to do to right-click on MBPs is tap the trackpad with two fingers. You can also scroll left/right by dragging two fingers on the pad. Any camera that can hook up to a computer via USB is mac compatible, I’m assuming it’s the same for video cameras.

  2. Your learning curve on a mac would be quick and painless, really. I travel with the 13 inch mac book, going back to a pc seems so retarded as in no two-finger scrolling, no workspaces, lame widgets, blah blah blah. Plus, editing video on any of the new macs is so easy and free cause i-movie is included. Buy a mac, don’t look back. But wait a few weeks for the new series, lighter, faster, better. Probably not cheaper lol.

  3. Mac girrrrrl!
    PC´s are so third wordl!
    All u want to do, u can do it on a mac, believe me.
    I was just like u before “no, mac don´t right click, blah, blah, blah”
    Fuck that shit, macs work. That´s it.
    Buy a mac, buy a mac, pleasssssssse!

  4. What do you use on your current laptop if not a trackpad? You can always attach a USB mouse, but if you just keep using the trackpad you get used to it.
    Unless you’re a physicist or something Macs run every application a sane person needs including MS Office.

  5. ive tried both PC and MAC
    yup mac is prety
    but PC is very rich specially in compatibility
    more programs are Pc/Win compatible so less hassle
    tho u can find mac softwares which can do the same thing but it would be such a hassle.
    its like choosing between 2 men:
    Mac: super pogi but less personality
    PC: less pogi but more on personality
    thats just me

  6. you need to put two fingers on a trackpad since there is only one button for a click sure you hate trackpads and i do to but the the two finger scroll and right click is very functional. Also there are shortcuts but since there is a dock (the button s at the screen’s lower area many people tend to put a copy of their applications there. The menu bar the white bar on top gives you access to many windows functions. Anyway people who say macs aren’t compatible or the basic functions do not work are either biased or haven’t used a mac in the longest of time.

  7. Oh yeah go for a mac. I’m expecting my georuuuuuuus macbook pro for next week and I CAN’T WAIT. Mac’s are for creative, forward-thinking, non-conformists blah blah people. So yeah go for a mac.

  8. Get a MacBook pro. I’ve had my MacBook for a month and I can safely say, once you go Mac, you’ll never go back.
    Plus Macs are sexy, just like you. That Sony Vaio is anorexic, it’s brittle and breaks easily. Nyahahaha.

  9. Empaulio

    Macs all the way baby. i got my macbook in july and i love it i had never used a mac before but the way you use is so how you expect it to be and simple. you can right click and copy and paste all that normal stuff very easy. Go and have another look at the apples they are very fabulous indeed. and belive me i no about the fabulous things and these are on the list xx

  10. OK! bryan! you have to get an MBP! I had the same concerns before!
    ‘its not true you have to get “Mac compatible” gadgets… everything is pretty much compatible with mac. I plug all my gadgets without even installing a driver..
    da hell? walang right-click?! meron!!! cno nag sabi sayo?
    My MBP is the best thing I bought in my life! seriously..!
    Im a web developer, so yeah I know a thing or two about computers.
    just some tips on buying MBP:
    1. Get the biggest memory! get the 4GB its very expensive(+$700) but its soooo worth it!
    2. try not to buy the 17 inch , its just too big.
    3. humanda ka for being in heat.. literally.. mainit kc MBP! maluluto itlog mo pag ilagay mo sa lap mo.

  11. Get a MacBook, its amazing! I can never go back to my old windows laptop.
    PCs are outdated.
    Macs are amazing!
    Everything is simple. I cant use a PC now since it doesnt have the simple toggle and multiple views that mac has which you can use simply by moving the pointers to the corners of your macbook.
    Compatibility? not an issue, all my old stuff works perfectly fine with my Mac.
    The only downside -> you’ll get hooked buying all the nifty add ons that mac can offer. I bought almost everthing! my Mac has pink keyboard protector and pink hard case! hahaha -> talk about screaming fag!
    And lots of nifty designer bags to stuff your mac in, keepin it safe and warm….
    Now if I can get a pink cover for my iphone….

  12. i say, go for a mac. i bought my mac last march and all i could say is that i will stick to apple forever :D
    ps. update us with what you will buy ok? ;)

  13. If you do decide to get a MacBook, make sure that it comes preinstalled with the latest OS version, Mac OS X Leopard which is eons beyond what windows can offer. Do your research! Check the website HELLO? Take the plunge girl, MacBooks are the sweet sultry, Swedish twinkle boys of computers

  14. opoppanaxx

    macs are sexy. but vaios are sexy too. albeit not as stable.
    pc for apple fucking win. hehehe. what’s the point of learning a new interface?
    check out this site for skins.

  15. Macs are the shit!
    You could always use bootcamp or parallels to use Windows XP on your mac.
    But do so some research, Apple is always changing models every few months. It’s sucks when you buy a mac and two weeks later, apple comes out with a newer/better verison. Apple loves doing that crap.
    Nonetheless, I recommend a Mac.

  16. go for a mac. i was a habitual pc user and now i’m a mac lover forever! it is very user friendly and loks WAYYY BETTER than pc computers. you’ll love it. it’s an investment! you know all about investments(hermes bag, chanel jacket…)

  17. earthling

    whatever floats your boat, actually. i own both a vaio and a macbook pro which by the way as far as i know comes only in grey metal finish (white and black are mere macbook, and even then go for white, it’s glossy and doesn’t smudge like crazy as the matte black one) and both computers pretty much function as i expect them to be, and more. people who say macs are better/cooler than windows-based/pc notebooks are like your average third-world social climbing types or middle america white trash who think they’re wearing first-rate luxury when they’re actually wearing ralph lauren. i mean, if one owns a mac, shut the fuck up, drop the i’m-edgier-than-thou attitude and stop thinking of pc-users as b-listers. truth is, a great percentage of mac users are mere poseurs; hence, the prevalence of hoi polloi mac users who equate macs with itunes only. plus, personality-wise, i’ve always, er, rooted for bill.
    things that you hear about macs are pretty much untrue. there’s a right-click function (press the click button and ctrl key simultaneously), macs work seamlessly with a plethora of gadgets, you can run windows for mac, web browsing with a mac is stable, and the new mac os, viz., leopard, which came out on 26 oct and now comes preloaded on all macs, is nifty (the time machine feature which allows you to back-up all your files is awesome, but the graphics are a bit too fancy. the only downside of macs is limited games compatibility, but unless you’re a games freak, this should not be a huge concern.
    btw, that vaio you shot is gorgeous. its brave, rietveld-esque lines should get hedi’s nod. cheers.

  18. BB, you should totally get a Mac! I had one for a year and a half and I absolutely loved it. They run faster, no viruses, no spyware, and they are downright sexy.
    I used a two button USB mouse on my iBook and you can copy, cut, paste, and save as
    using the right mouse button on Mac.

  19. NYCboToy

    I bought a new Mac with the new OS (leopard) Am new to mac as well but I have no problem using it. They offer lots of classes in their SOHO store, hope they do same thing over there. It allows new users to get started now I’m embracing this new machine….. Get a MAC Bryanboy, Its you!

  20. NYCboToy

    I bought a new Mac with the new OS (leopard) Am new to mac as well but I have no problem using it. They offer lots of classes in their SOHO store, hope they do same thing over there. It allows new users to get started now I’m embracing this new machine….. Get a MAC Bryanboy, Its you!

  21. NYCboToy

    I bought a new Mac with the new OS (leopard) Am new to mac as well but I have no problem using it. They offer lots of classes in their SOHO store, hope they do same thing over there. It allows new users to get started now I’m embracing this new machine….. Get a MAC Bryanboy, Its you!

  22. NYCboToy

    I bought a new Mac with the new OS (leopard) Am new to mac as well but I have no problem using it. They offer lots of classes in their SOHO store, hope they do same thing over there. It allows new users to get started now I’m embracing this new machine….. Get a MAC Bryanboy, Its you!

  23. Bakleeta Aketch

    That’s not real right?
    I mean it’s a mock-up of the real notebook.
    Coz it looks all so shiny. Doesnt look real.
    Tsaka do u know what they call that one?
    Anong series? CR? SZ? AR?

  24. letshavemeforabreak

    they don’t have a right click, instead they have alt/option click. instead of the usual
    ctrl + (c)opy, they use the
    apple/command button + (c)opy
    same thing for the rest of cut and paste..
    so basically windows use ctrl + something
    mac uses the apple/cmd button + something
    and it’s easier to delete programs from a mac.. you just drag the folder into the trash..
    mac is also good in terms of no virus.
    but it’s sometime hard to find programs that windows have.
    for example the simple msn messenger with video and voice. mac does not have that.
    where for windows you get lots of option.
    my bf use a mac and i use a windows.
    all i can say is that both the system is good on it’s own way.
    if you’re talking about viruses on a pc.. well with a good anti-virus program, you won’t get touched…

  25. go mac bryan, you dont have to buy a new digicam or camcorder for your mac. your old gadgets will work with mac too. its just like plug and play with windows. :)

  26. Ugh, Apple is so over. i-pods and i-phones have become so common… even my cleaning lady has that stuff. go for PC/bill. Mac is so… Madonna for Versace advertisements S/S 2005 (?). a computer should not look pretty! a pretty computer is soo uncool. it’s like owning a Volkswagen Beetle. Something Mandy Moore might get excited about. Simply disgusting.

  27. Get a MacBook Pro. Not only does OS X Leopard look sexy and works awesome but the outside look gorgeous. You carry that notebook around with you and people will look at you. Look at you good. BUT if you MUST get a Windows based notebook get one of the sexy new Sony Vaio’s. I swear every Windows notebook manufacturer other than Sony Vaio make UGLY ASS computers. They be looking like they are one of those fake notebooks for kids, you know the ones they use to learn their ABC’s. So yeah go Mac baby!

  28. Haha. I have a macbook and I’m far from being of second-rate intelligence (only because I was raised on pcs.) I won’t bore you with anything else about that because I’m sure there are 24525 other comments saying the same thing.
    That Vaio is some serious thinspo. Stay pc, bb.

  29. the_edge_reaper

    uhm, most programs in this country doesn’t run on Mac. Although Mac service worldwide is immaculate, the problem with it lies in this PC dwelling third world country. Most programs, (the pirated ones, hehehe) run on PC. It will take awhile before some of your favorite games get pirated for Mac. There are some cool stuff for Macs though, downloadable via net.
    For graphics and creative stuff, go MAC
    For general and jack-of-all trade, master of none equipment, go get PC.
    They are technically the same in the hardware, they only differ in the look, the apple chip, and the OS.
    Oh, if you happen to choose a PC, do downgrade it to XP, Vista really sucks. It sucks more than you do sweetie.

  30. Almost all relatively current computer peripherals ARE Mac compatible. Because Apple bundles drivers for all major hardware manufacturers with OS X, they even auto update them for you now. I have never had to install periferal drivers, on a Mac. When wanting to plug in a cameras (photo, dv and web) all I’ve ever had to do is find a USB or firewire cable, if one didn’t come with the device. Macs are truly plug and play, they recognize the camera (even the specific make and model), open iPhoto/iMovie/iChat and ask the relevant question, i.e. ‘do you want to download the images into iPhoto immediately’. No set up needed. Printers are just as simple, you plug in the printer, turn it on and through the System Preference application tell it to look for available printers; it you don’t do have it do that search and try to print, the OS will do it for you, if it only finds one printer you just have to say that it’s the printer you want to print to. Digitizing tables (Wacom & Adesso) work just as well, and can easily be trained to recognize your handwriting for Apple’s Inkwell handwriting recognition data entry system.
    Software will need to be updated, but if you haven’t done so in a while you would have to do that for Vista anyway. BTW software manufacturers don’t care if you cross-grade (upgrade and switch platforms), they’re just happy you’re not pirating their software.
    In the event that you have a game that isn’t available then you can setup BootCamp and use the version of windows that came with your old PC and run it NATIVELY on the Mac. You can also get Parallels and run Windows as parallel system, at the same time as the Mac OS X, you could even run multiple copies of Widows, Linux, BSD, Solaris for Intel, and Mac OS X all NATIVE at the same time as (depending on hard drive space and RAM).
    My brother-in-law runs proE under Parallels, on his 15″ MacBook Pro and the entire setup cost him less than a comparably equipped Dell. He essentially got two top notch name brand computers for less than the price of one name brand PC, with a PC all you get is a PC.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *