Net-a-porter girl, where are you?

I think it was last year when someone who works at fabulous online luxury emporium Net-a-Porter left a comment on my blog how some folk at Net-a-Porter read me. I spent the past 3 hours going through my emails etc and I can’t, for the life of god, find her contact info. I need you. I need you now. I need you more than anyone else in this world. I need you more than I need my parents. I need you more than I need a boyfriend. I need you more than I need hot sex. We all know good shoes should come first before hot sex and frankly speaking, I don’t need hot sex, I need good shoes!

Ms. Natalie Massenet, you are the queen of them all.

This is a life and death situation. I saw the most gorgeous shoes EVER (amongst other gorgeous things), it’s available in my size and I wanna buy a few pairs. Please hook me up with a promo code like STAT! The shoes are screaming my name and my visa is waiting to be abused. I need them in black. I need them in white. I need them in every colour available. I promise to wear them forever (oh who are we kidding but still) and take lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of pictures so that my readers can see them and then hopefully I can evoke some emotion out of them and then they’ll buy the entire lot online. I did my research and nobody else seems to like them except for me but whatever, I think they’re beautiful in spite of the fact that you still have them in almost all sizes otherwise they would’ve been a goner. I don’t want to post pictures of the shoes on my site because I don’t want people to snap them up. Not for now at least. Haha!

Hook me up with a promo code now! LOL