Halloween Costumes

Halloween is just around the corner. Yes, my minions, it’s *that* time of the year and wherever you are in the world, I’m 100% positive there’s going to be lots of parties to go to. Have you picked out your halloween costume yet? Halloween is always a good excuse to go nuts because you know everyone’s gonna dress up in crazy outfits. I’m sure many of you have not forgotten the first time I went drag IN A PUBLIC PLACE but for those of you with poor memories (or new to my site), not too long ago, I went out looking like a slutty smurf maid… in 7-inch fetish boots. I don’t think I could ever outdo that outfit. EVER! From that moment on, I knew I was born to wear high heels because I haven’t tripped at all (wearing heels), not even once. Some random loser I don’t know thought I was a girl, grabbed my ass that night and I had to tell him upfront to back off. Now I generally don’t mind such blatant display of admiration but I like to pretend there’s a sophisticated lady underneath such slutty clothes. SoFEEsticated my ass. Hah!

Halloween

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Speaking of halloween costumes, the folks at Halloween Express asked me to do a sponsored blog entry of their web site and their offerings. I like what I see so far. Like most American online shops, the first thing I do is check whether or not they ship overseas, given the fact that I live in the cesspit of the third world. Luckily, they DO ship anywhere outside of the US/Canada via one of their shipping partners. They even have a website for UK sales so I guess everyone can pretty much shop with them. Most of my readers are based in the USA anyway so whatever.

Believe it or not, I actually spent quite some time going through their website looking for things of interest to me. Halloween Express, one of the most respected costume suppliers online, has been operating since 1990 and they carry quite possibly the largest costume and costume accessory selections online.

I have to admit I’m not really a big fan of the usual witch and monster ghoulish gore… or nurses gone wild. Leave it to the kids who go trick and treating. I’m also not a fan of gothic, medieval or super hero outfits — too predictable and a little too hot for comfort (good luck maneuvering your outfit in a hot and humid place if you’re a sweaty betty like me). Some of the costumes I found cute were the camp and cheesy ones guaranteed to strike a conversation with strangers like…

halloween costumes

halloween costumes
[here] Giant Boob (US$44.99)
[here] Mile-High Hottie (US$24.99)

The Giant Boob outfit reminds me of this "Mr Nose and Ms. Boobs" editorial from an old issue of American Vogue. Why does everything in life ALWAYS have a Vogue reference? Hah! The Mile-High Hottie on the other hand, comes with inflatable boobs though I have to admit, my favourite NYC gay Sooomyantha and his friends did aeroplane chic best, no?

halloween costumes

Unless you have the dosh to wear Viktor & Rolf scaffolding, check out their Wheaties and Pretty Polly boxes if you don’t mind wearing big objects.

halloween costumes
[here] Wheaties Box Costume ($59.99)
[here] Pretty Polly Costume ($54.99)

Even couples have costumes, too.

halloween costumes

There’s also something for Pat Mcgrath, the ultimate queen of make-up and beauty…. the Trailer Park Mother-in-Law costume!

halloween costumes
[here] Tooth Fairy (US$44.99)

And of course, a party is NOT a party unless you have a huge, big, huge geriatric man dressed up as the tooth fairy.

halloween costumes
[here] Tooth Fairy (US$39.99)

Most of the ensembles are really affordable. I don’t think I’ve ever seen an outfit more than a hundred donald duck dollars.

Costumes aside, the thing that impressed me the most is their extensive decorations and accessories department. Y’all have to give props to their props section: make-up, hats, bags, boas, fake eyelashes, nails and tattoos to fangs, teeth, footwear, prosthetics, bags, wings, contact lenses, stockings, tights, jewelry, they have EVERYTHING to help you spice up your look — and not just on halloween!

One of the treasures I found is their glitter hair spray for US$3.99. I LOVE!!!!! OMG I want gold or silver hair highlights!!

halloween costumes

Visit their website and see for yourself. Go to http://www.halloweenexpress.com and explore what they have to offer.

Be creative! Be bold and have fun.

Whatever you do, please, for the life of god, don’t come out dressed up as a nun.

Or a priest.

Or a nurse.

Or a policeman.

KTHXBYE.