FUCK I’M FAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY GOD I’M CRYING!!!!!!!! I’m gonna have Sunday brunch with a friend and I thought it would be nice if I take my size 34 (size zero) black Chanel skinny jeans for a spin and the snap button closure keeps on popping out when I try to sit down. There is nothing more repulsive than being a "size 0" with a muffin top, no? I take pride in being able to fit into the smallest Chanel size and to think, Chanel is really generous when it comes to pret-a-porter sizing but god damn if the smallest size doesn’t fit it only means one thing: I’m FAT!

Chanel jeans

PLEASE GOOD LORD ALMIGHTY TELL ME I’M NOT BACK TO A SIZE 2 or worse, a 4. It’s funny how I have things from size 0 – 4 (I fluctuate) but man, today is a bad day, I swear. I hate it when I fluctuate and clearly I’ve gained again. I thought I lost major poundage but I gained it all back in the past few weeks because of all the cakes, donuts and fast food I’ve been eating. It’s your fault Mauricio. You and your stupid bear fetish got me all reaching out for the carbs again. I think it’s a ploy for you to make me gain and it worked!

Water fast (does red bull count?), grean leafy vegetables and adderall (just kidding. where are those damn chinese crack pills when you need them most?), here I come. I should be able to flush this poundage down the drain in a few days.

PS. I really want to wear Chanel today because Chanel is having a moment with their fantastic Mademoiselle campaign around the world. Check it out at www.mademoiselle-forever.com and tell me which is your favourite city. I think they did it best in Paris. Nobody even bat an eyelash when they ran the campaign in London.