Birkenstock Gizeh Sandal

[Edit: 12:01AM - I just realized I bloody have photographic memory for remembering a December 2001 Vogue Editorial! God dammnnnn I'm such a fashion victim.]

[Edit: 12:20AM - REMEMBER WHEN RACHEL "I AM MORE INFLUENTIAL THAN ANNA WINTOUR" ZOE "STYLED" NICOLE RICHIE IN APRIL 2006? GUESS WHAT, AMERICAN VOGUE PUBLISHED A SIMILAR OUTFIT BACK IN DECEMBER OF 2001!!!! TEAM ANNA WINTOUR!!!]

I’ll let you in on a little secret. I hate feet. I really do. I’m not sure if you remember this but there was a time when I met this Italian guy with a weird foot fetish – he made me step on fruit (as in real fruit… a bowl of strawberries) until I squished it good… and the only time he’ll have an orgasm is when his nutsack is rubbing against my foot. So yeah, I just hate feet. I HATE HATE HATE FEET! Hearing the word "feet" is enough to send chills running down my spine. I will never understand those foot fetiSHITS who like to lick/eat feet. Soo gross. Feet are disgusting. I think my feet are disgusting. If there is one part of my body that I am so self-conscious about it’s my feet. My toes are shaped weird and my little pinky toes are horrible. Ingrown much? I also hate male feet. There is nothing more horrid in this world than a pasty, pale British guy’s feet in SIZE 14, feet so white you can see veins and nails so long they practically look like claws. Oh yes, I’ve seen it all! I guess that’s one of the reasons why I don’t really wear flip flops. I’m not insane to show my fugly feet to the world, thanks very much.

bryanboy

Click click click!

I went to the mall earlier this afternoon because my favourite black Birkenstock sandals broke after years of good use. I know y’all are gonna laugh but I love Birkenstock. No, not *THAT* pair of cheesy,
tacky Birks that everyone wears… they make these sandals called "Gizeh"
and IMO, they’re fabulous. I also have them in white, silver and red. They come in other colours as well but would you wear orange sandals? I won’t.

Birkenstock Gizeh
Black Birkenstock Gizeh [here]
White Birkenstock Gizeh [here]

Anyway, you can pair them off with anything from shorts, skinny jeans, slacks, trousers, etc and still look great. I went to the shop where I bought them before and much to my disappointment, they don’t
carry them anymore. It’s soo frustrating! I really want to get a black pair again because they’re really nice.

The universe is clearly sending me a sign because I went to Style.com for hair inspiration (yes, I’m finally getting a haircut) and then I got bored so I ended up looking at The Sartorialist photos. A few scrolls later and I saw this photo of a guy in a pair of black Birkenstock Gizeh sandals! The same one as mine!!!

Birkenstock Gizeh

Chic, no?

I’m gonna go to another mall tomorrow to see if I can find one. I know I buy things online but I *rarely* buy shoes because we all know shipping charges, customs, duties and taxes are nasty and it doesn’t help that the box and packaging weighs more than the shoe itself. Pfft!

It just occured to me that Gisele Bundchen wore a pair of orange Birkenstock Gizeh sandals in Vogue back in December of 2001!!!!

Birkenstock Gizeh

Birkenstock Gizeh

That’s December of 2001.

And then it ALSO occured to me that Nicole Richie wore a similar (I’m not saying the same…) outfit in April of 2006, "styled" by Rachel Zoe for $6,000 a day.

White top? check.
Jeans? check.
Missoni multicolor striped scarf? check.
Black bag? check.
Flat footwear? check.

Nicole Richie

Nicole Richie

I don’t know about you but would I really pay Ms. Raisin Face $6,000 a day to assemble an outfit when I can go through my Vogue archives?

Bitch. Please.

If anything, I would only hire Rachel Zoe to be my personal life coach. I want her to deliver crystal meth at my doorstep at 4AM and make me bone-thin!

Click here to know more about the Birkenstock Gizeh sandal.

PS. Rachel Zoe has a new book coming out called "Style A to Zoe.