Birkenstock Gizeh Sandal

[Edit: 12:01AM - I just realized I bloody have photographic memory for remembering a December 2001 Vogue Editorial! God dammnnnn I'm such a fashion victim.]

[Edit: 12:20AM - REMEMBER WHEN RACHEL "I AM MORE INFLUENTIAL THAN ANNA WINTOUR" ZOE "STYLED" NICOLE RICHIE IN APRIL 2006? GUESS WHAT, AMERICAN VOGUE PUBLISHED A SIMILAR OUTFIT BACK IN DECEMBER OF 2001!!!! TEAM ANNA WINTOUR!!!]

I’ll let you in on a little secret. I hate feet. I really do. I’m not sure if you remember this but there was a time when I met this Italian guy with a weird foot fetish – he made me step on fruit (as in real fruit… a bowl of strawberries) until I squished it good… and the only time he’ll have an orgasm is when his nutsack is rubbing against my foot. So yeah, I just hate feet. I HATE HATE HATE FEET! Hearing the word "feet" is enough to send chills running down my spine. I will never understand those foot fetiSHITS who like to lick/eat feet. Soo gross. Feet are disgusting. I think my feet are disgusting. If there is one part of my body that I am so self-conscious about it’s my feet. My toes are shaped weird and my little pinky toes are horrible. Ingrown much? I also hate male feet. There is nothing more horrid in this world than a pasty, pale British guy’s feet in SIZE 14, feet so white you can see veins and nails so long they practically look like claws. Oh yes, I’ve seen it all! I guess that’s one of the reasons why I don’t really wear flip flops. I’m not insane to show my fugly feet to the world, thanks very much.

Click click click!

I went to the mall earlier this afternoon because my favourite black Birkenstock sandals broke after years of good use. I know y’all are gonna laugh but I love Birkenstock. No, not *THAT* pair of cheesy,
tacky Birks that everyone wears… they make these sandals called "Gizeh"
and IMO, they’re fabulous. I also have them in white, silver and red. They come in other colours as well but would you wear orange sandals? I won’t.

Black Birkenstock Gizeh [here]
White Birkenstock Gizeh [here]

Anyway, you can pair them off with anything from shorts, skinny jeans, slacks, trousers, etc and still look great. I went to the shop where I bought them before and much to my disappointment, they don’t
carry them anymore. It’s soo frustrating! I really want to get a black pair again because they’re really nice.

The universe is clearly sending me a sign because I went to Style.com for hair inspiration (yes, I’m finally getting a haircut) and then I got bored so I ended up looking at The Sartorialist photos. A few scrolls later and I saw this photo of a guy in a pair of black Birkenstock Gizeh sandals! The same one as mine!!!

Chic, no?

I’m gonna go to another mall tomorrow to see if I can find one. I know I buy things online but I *rarely* buy shoes because we all know shipping charges, customs, duties and taxes are nasty and it doesn’t help that the box and packaging weighs more than the shoe itself. Pfft!

—

It just occured to me that Gisele Bundchen wore a pair of orange Birkenstock Gizeh sandals in Vogue back in December of 2001!!!!

That’s December of 2001.

And then it ALSO occured to me that Nicole Richie wore a similar (I’m not saying the same…) outfit in April of 2006, "styled" by Rachel Zoe for $6,000 a day.

White top? check.
Jeans? check.
Missoni multicolor striped scarf? check.
Black bag? check.
Flat footwear? check.

I don’t know about you but would I really pay Ms. Raisin Face $6,000 a day to assemble an outfit when I can go through my Vogue archives?

Bitch. Please.

If anything, I would only hire Rachel Zoe to be my personal life coach. I want her to deliver crystal meth at my doorstep at 4AM and make me bone-thin!

Click here to know more about the Birkenstock Gizeh sandal.

PS. Rachel Zoe has a new book coming out called "Style A to Zoe.