World Premiere of Bryanboy’s New Hobby
I’ll let you in on a little secret but you can’t tell anyone (not even your own mother) because I’m a very, very, very insecure person and I am not capable of handling criticism well shockawesarcasmhorror.
Bitch please. Click click click!
Well hello there!
I’ve taken up baking as a hobby.
I had cake.
Ok, fine, I ate a quarter of it before I gave it to the help.
I’m telling you, I have one foot in the grave as I’m typing this. I really can’t afford to eat cake (or anything EDIBLE for that matter) right now. I measured myself earlier this week and my hips are 33 inches wide! It’s disgusting. Mortifying, if you ask me. I don’t know about you (and frankly, I don’t care) but I want very narrow hips and a nonexistent butt. I don’t want to be one of those hips, tits and ass people. I want lean and long, straight and narrow.
Must. say. no. to. cake.
A pleasure on the lips means 10 pounds on the hips!
I can’t keep a good secret for long and with a mouth like mine, I might as well spill the beans out of the can.
I’m sure you all know by now that I’m treading unfamiliar waters. There’s something in the air and I have no idea what it is. I suppose you can also blame the recent haute couture season, all the books I’ve been reading and those DIY fashion blogs. Do a search and you’ll find tons of blogs with people creating their own stuff. Put the pieces together and bam! I’ve digested so much information lately I need some sort of an outlet and get my creative juices flowing.
Simply put, I’m soo inspired!
In the past week or so, I’ve been reading, painting, shopping for materials and supplies, sketching, etc. I’ve got my hands on so many different things but it’s fun! Let’s face it, I don’t have a daily routine (or a 9-5 job) so I sorta kinda but not really have to find something to fill the void. I would rather keep myself busy than sit here and do "nothing".
It’s funny how I first started with painting and ended up making a head to toe outfit for myself.
I kept making "mistakes" on my canvasses so I decided that it would be best to sketch my ideas first in my notebook before I paint them on canvas.
I sketched and I sketched and I sketched with a pencil and coloured my illustrations with crayons like a five year old.
And then I thought, why not turn my sketches (and what I want for my paintings) into something real? Something that I can actually wear?
That’s when "designing" came into the picture. I made all these sketches of outfits that I want, bought loads of fabric, brought them to someone who can lend their working hands who, in turn, made them real!
Do keep in mind that at this point, I refuse to be labelled as an "artist" or a "designer". I only consider myself as a hobbyist because to me, this whole "thing" is just a short term hobby. I don’t want to be one of those people who belong in the "anybody can be a designer" club with no qualifications, training or background.
I cringe with horror and disgust whenever people go to prestigious schools, take 1-week "immersion" classes (which are basically glorified SCHOOL TOURS) and go on a high horse as if they took a 4-year course.
There’s still lots for me to learn. Will I take my hobby one step further? Probably not. I’m happy to keep things where they are. Sketch, create, paint. I made my first outfit so my next step is for me to paint myself on canvas (we’re talking about 4 feet wide by 8 foot tall).
If I like the direction I’m going then I’m definitely gonna make MORE outfits for myself… and only myself.
Hello, I can’t even dress myself properly let alone design shit for other people. If EVER I’m gonna make clothes for others I’ll only offer a size 0 or "00" and no, definitely no vanity sizing. Remember this? You’re too fat, get out!
Point is, all my "creations" are for nobody else but me, myself and I. If people like them, fine. If they don’t, who cares? If people want me to create a certain piece and buy them from me, fine as well! Hahaha!
Enough verbal diarrhea. Here’s my first outfit.
Bird of prey…. flying highhhhhhhhhh. DRAG QUEEN!!! HAHAHAHA!
Mauricio: I think everybody’s beautiful
Mauricio: I’m so democratic
Me: no, more like DIPLOMATIC haha
Mauricio: no, democratic
Mauricio: for the people by the people
Me: Did I show you pictures of the feathers?
Mauricio: diplomatic is not about pleasing everybody
Mauricio: democracy supposedly is
Mauricio: no!!!! SEND ME!!!! i LOVE featherettes
Mauricio: you should make some lashes out of that for yourself!
Me: eyelashes? dude, they’re HUGE!
Mauricio: like dior lashes, the huger the better
Me: nooo I wanna make a necklace out of the feathers
So I did.
***24 hours later***
Me: So I made a necklace out of featherettes
Me: It ended up looking like a feather bib with a satin neckline with long, 6-feet long silk chiffon trimmings that you tie on the back
Me: I wanna cry cause there’s a Prada feel to it. EEEEK!! I think it’s the color.
Mauricio: that’s very Prada. Maybe you could sew an old prada label from one of your prada clothes and say Miuccia sent it to you herself and it’s a secret prototype.
Me: how can I make it not so Prada?
Mauricio: I don’t know. if you removed any one of the elements it would still be very prada
Me: if I add elements
Me: like crystals or glass beads??
Mauricio: it would look Versays
Mauricio: like Donatella Versays for Prada
Mauricio: maybe you could have two done and wear them like bra cups?
Mauricio: WEAR THEM AS BRA CUPS! FEATHERETTE BRA CUPS!
Me: NOOO the size of each bib is about the size of my chest. these featherettes are ginormous!
Mauricio: then get a boob job!
Last but not the least, look at that face. Fierce or not?
And there you have it! The question of the day is: does it suit me? You know, whatever it is I made, does it suit me???? Answers on a postcard…
Email me and tell me you love me. My email address is firstname.lastname@example.org or SMS +63.915.785.1492.
I love you all as always.