Postcards from the third world: Chalk Magazine (June 2007)

Written By bryanboy

Postcards from the third world: Chalk Magazine (June 2007)

OK. Will someone please snap me back to reality because I’m either a) currently in a k-hole or b) I’m hallucinating. Is it just me or is there something about Chalk Magazine’s cover (a mag in the flips geared towards college students) that screams HARPER’S BAZAAR? No, I’m not talking about the cover person and the clothes/style (duh) but the FONTS! THE HEADLINES! THE NUMBERS! To be honest with you, I find it oh so wrong whenever magazines use two-digit numbers on the cover unless they refer to years, like 75 Years of Vogue or 25 Years of Bryanboy’s Insanity. I mean really, mags should only use numbers on MAJOR things, like 895 Pages of Faggotry or 471 Cock Rings You Should Buy Now.

30?? 30+???? UGH! Try 345 or 689.

The logo looks sooo fucking wrong with the rest of the cover’s layout, yes? No?

Please photochop those arms. Obesity is at an all-time high in the flips and magazines should NEVER EVER send the message to people, especially young college students, that it’s ok to be fat. Just kidding. She’s fat, you’re fat, I’m the fattest — but at least you’ll never see me on the cover of any mag. If I do make it on a cover, I would go through hell fire and back to make sure their photo people, with the power of software and modern day technology, ensure that I look like I’m dying of starvation with my clavicles, sternum and god knows what other bones I possess, STAND OUT, by hook or by crook.

Repeat after me: fatty patty boom boom. We’re all swimming in fat. It’s a big, ginormous, FAT world out there so let’s kill ourselves.

6 Comments

  1. Bryanboy,
    If you don’t like the cover, don’t look at it. I wanna know though, does harper bazaar have the exclusive right to use the font? I don’t think so…besides, the magazine is for normal AND sane people. Why don’t u just create your own magazine so it’d reach PERFECTION! Also, email them with your suggestion for a new logo…they might like it(you wish!)!
    take care, skeletor!!

  2. she kind of reminds me of vina morales, after eating at a buffet, under the sun for 4 days staright. but i totally liked her (iza) in eternity. haha. oh well

  3. Haha. Maldita ka.
    Well you should at least give them credit for being the first college oriented magazine here in the Phils. We took notice during the hey deys (or my hey days with the mag) na teen magazines followed suit – featuring colleges. Those nitty-gritties (font, colors, etc.) are just an icing to an already fabulous cake, so to speak.
    My shout out to the fabulous editorial staff of chalk. Just in case they’re reading this post.
    Mwah!
    P.S. Have you heard? They’re bringing poor Paris back to jail?! Poor lola.

  4. islandgirl

    Hey – I think she looks fine – the message should be it’s okay to be normal – the starved look is for UNICEF posters babe – not fashion covers!

  5. hahahaha! i love it! you’re fierce branboy!!! fat fatty fat fat fat!!!

  6. oh i just want to add….i’m sure those chops are cropped and photoshopped already!!!

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