Bryanboy’s Dream Job

I had an epiphany this morning.

I fucking found my dream job.

No, I don’t want to be a designer. I also don’t want to be a stylist, journalist, editor or a writer. And no, I definitely don’t want to be a manwhore.

Click click click!
(Don’t bother you have a slow internet connection)

I want to be a Victoria’s Secret model.

I’m dead serious.

I really want to be a Victoria’s Secret model.

I have to admit that I’m not really a big fan of Vicky.

Victoria’s Secret is EXTREMELY popular here in the third world especially amongst the masses, not for their loungerie or swimwear but for their body splash and toiletries.

I can’t even count the number of young Filipino girls who ask their relatives in America to send them bottles of spray-on liquid that smells like fruit air freshener. Yuck.


Photo credit: eBay

Anyway, I was browsing YouTube again for Naomi Campbell videos and after two hours of watching clips, I found myself watching last year’s Victoria’s Secret fashion show.

One of my super straight muscular broly friends from Australia sent me a message on msn.

Dan: what are you doing?

Me: watching the Victoria’s Secret fashion show. why?

Dan: why would you want to watch that?

Dan: VS is for girls you nincompoop

Dan: or for guys who want to fuck the VS girls

Me: well i don’t know why i’m watching it either

Dan: i like VS models more compared to other models. they’re not too skinny

Me: well bitch please. a lot of the models that you see on Vicky’s secret are former high fashion models who gone fatty patty boom boom. it’s usually the graveyard for models who are dunzo in Paris like karolina k, adriana lima or that ambrossio chick or tyra banks

Me: VS sometimes pay a lot of money to import the top IT girls to add to the mix like natasha poly or jessica stam

after a few minutes of explaining to a straight guy how "real" models are better than victoria’s secret’s brazilians, i had to switch to part 3 of the show.

YOU HAVE TO WATCH THE VIDEO. IT WAS TOO INTENSE, AT LEAST FOR ME. MAYBE IT WAS THE MUSIC?

BTW, I NEED THAT PARTICULAR REMIX OF THAT TRACK (WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG) BY THE KILLERS.

I got an electroshock treatment/electricity jolt out of nowhere when Karolina posed at the end of the runway and it didn’t stop there.

"AND KAROLINA?

GO!!!!"

Que another model I forgot the name. Alessandra Ambrosio?

Then comes MY favourite catwalker on the face of the planet, Natasha Poly.

GOD DAMN SHE’S SO FUCKING HOT. 

back to msn I sent a message to Dan

Me: ask me again why I’m watching th Victoria’s Secret fashio show

Dan: why?

Me: why what?

Dan: why are you watching VS?

Me: because I just found my dream job.

Need I say more?