Bling Bling Balenciaga.

Remember those ice-hockey inspired Balenciaga heels EVERYONE I wanted? Well, what do you know? Look at what I found from Elle Magazine. Please tell me an Elle intern came to the Hachette Filipacchi Media office with a massive hangover and made a typo on this page.

Shame on you Elle magazine, shame on you.

Balenciaga sandals

For four thousand one hundred seventy five uncle sam dollars ($4,175), I could buy my own all-male, all-6′ and taller, all-well hung, ice hockey team from bumfuck, Canada, have them shipped to the third world by Fedex and get gangbanged day in and day out until I shit RED MAPLE LEAVES.

Bleurgh.

PS. Pierre Hardy, call me. CALL ME NOW!!!! +63.915.785.1492. Yes, that’s my real number and no, I’m not joking. Don’t play hard to get with me. I’ll give you the best BLOWJOB you’ll ever receive in this lifetime. If you get my voicemail, chances are, I’m probably asleep so please leave me a message and tell me I’m pretty.