Ballerina Bryan

Ballerina Bryan

Current Weight: 122 Pounds (5'9)
Goal Weight: 115 Pounds

OK. I got hold of my sister's leftover ballerina pills late last night. Her maid sent me a grand total of 8 pills which I think is sufficient enough to try for 4 days. Apparently you're supposed to take 2-3 of these every day but in order to be on the safe side, I'll do two a day. It's strange because the packet that I got looks different from the packet that I saw online yesterday. The colour and the shape looks the same though.

Click click click!

I know I'm not supposed to take diet pills late at night because of insomnia but I took one anyway, at 2AM, poured myself a glass of vodka then went to bed at around 4AM.

I managed to get a few hours of sleep before finally waking up at 10:30. I got up a few times and tried to go back to bed but I just couldn't do it.

6 hours. Not bad eh?

Normally I would run straight to the kitchen to grab something to eat but I wasn't feeling hungry.

I did my usual routine -- brushed my teeth, drank some water, checked my emails, read websites etc.

I popped another pill at 11:30 along with 1,000 mg of vitamin c.

I'm soo fucking paranoid that there might be amphetamines on these pills so I took heaps of vitamin c. I read it somewhere last night that vitaminc c can alleviate the side effects of amphetamines.

Oh just bloody look at me go all paranoid and shit.

It's funny cause when I was younger, I used EVERY recreational drug under the sun from marijuana to speed, ecstasy, coke, crystal meth, ketamine, lsd, you name it, I done it. The only thing I haven't tried is GHB and mushrooms. I even had my first spliff when I was 14. I don't want to send the wrong message out to people that's it's "cool" to do drugs but I'm not gonna go around saying they're "OH MY GOD DRUGS ARE BAD FOR YOU MMMKAY YOU'RE GONNA DIE IF YOU TRY EM". I don't think there's anything wrong with trying as long as you are responsible, you don't abuse it, you know what you're getting yourself into and you know the consequences.

Trying is not the same as abusing. Keep that in mind.

I for one have learned it the hard way. Remember two years ago when I popped god knows how many pills, snorted god knows how many packs of blow and smoked meth ALL IN ONE NIGHT and I ended up in this:

I learned my lesson (I think you should, too) and that "blip" in my life made me not to touch ecstasy and crystal meth EVER again.

What's funny though is that a few months after being hospitalized, I went back to my dirty habits and did loads of blow along with prescription downers (benzos, tranquilizers, sleeping pills, anti-anxiety pills) left and right. Remember my crazy blog entries where I'd party all night and come home at 12noon the following day? Insane!

I think it would be fair to say that I only started being "drug-free" since June of 2006.

That's when I had my wake-up call. I made the decision to try to be clean and healthy last year. When you've been doing shit on and off for the past 10-12 years, there has to be a point where you simply have to FULLY stop, you know what I mean?

In any case, wall make mistakes and I hope that we all try to learn from our lessons. I honestly don't have any regrets whatsoever. I had fun in spite of the odd blip or two. I'm just glad that I've put all of that behind me and I've finally put a closure to that part of my life.

I think we got sidetracked again but whatevs.

So yeah.

I popped my 2nd pill a few hours ago. No side effects so far. No palpitations, no nothing.

I tried a few weight-loss pills/supplements in the past but I gave up because I didn't ge the results I wanted and/or the side effects bothered me.

• Ionamin - aka Phentermine. This shit is CRAZY. I swear to god, it's like shabu/crystal meth in a capsule form. NEVER AGAIN! 
• Stackers 3 - Stackers 3 is the most horrible weight loss supplement ever. I had tremors and I was shaking like an epileptic 12 year old bitch every time I'm on these pills. NEVER AGAIN!
• Reductil - I used sibutramine/reductil for about 8 months or so and it didn't really help me curb my appetite. I would probably say this is the safest pill, even my doctor prescribed it to me, but you have to take this pill religiously EVERY DAY. There are NO side effects whatsoever. The pill works by 'fooling' your brain blah blah blah. It didn't work for me.

Anyway, I do feel a little giddy now and I can't point my finger straight without shaking it. I'm a chain smoker though so it could be the nicotine.

I think I'm paranoid on this ballerina shit because I've never tried Asian diet pills EVER!

You know what I'm talking about -- dirt cheap "herbal" slimming/diet pills with dubious (and hilarious) names give the FDA chief a coronary: bangkok pills, ballerina, goodliness and lightsome! I even found pills called "modelling" but whatevs. I've read all sorts of success AND horror stories about diet pills since yesterday. I think it fucked my head up a bit because I don't know who to believe.

There's a 10-page thread on this forum with testimonials, experiences and questions of Filipina women into diet pills.

There's also this Filipino woman who is 115 pounds and she's "desperate to drop to 100" because of a wedding. Her story is quite disturbing to be honest. I can't be bothered to translate everything but she's currently in New York and she's using Bangkok pills right now.

I also read about the story of some girl named Jowee Ann Marquez who went into a coma and overdosed on lightsome pills because she ABUSED them in the first place. Apparently those lightsome pills had phentermine.

Blah blah blah yaddi yaddi yadda.

I just don't want to die or go to the hospital again, you know?

You can call it what you want -- herbs, natural, phentermine, ephedra, amphetamines, fenfluramine (sp?) whatever but I guess it's clear that the shit they have in these Asian diet pills are the same shit they use on CRACK and they're dangerous if you abuse them.

Like what I said, I'll give this ballerina pills a shot. I have 6 pills left or 3 days worth of supply. I'll stop as soon as I experience some sort of an adverse reaction and I'll definitely blog about it.

I'll also research more on what shit they have on these ballerina pills and keep you posted.

It's almost 4PM here and all I had today was a glass of water, a glass of coke and a little bit of chicken. They served roasted chicken, mashed potatoes and veggies for lunch but I didn't feel like eating. I'm simply NOT hungry at all! In fact, I had 2 bites... 2 tiny morsels of chicken before telling our maid to just put it in the microwave so I'll eat it later.

Oh I don't know anymore. I think it's the crack talking. Hahahahaha!

Email me and tell me you love me. My email address is bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63.915.785.1492.