The spitting image of health

Written By bryanboy

The spitting image of health

I couldn’t do it. I chickened out and ditched the salon at the last minute. In fact, I got there on time but my stylist was busy with another client… some fat lady in her 40s. We exchanged airkisses blah blah blah then he told me to take a seat and wait for the shampoo lady. I was all nervous and shit so I told him I’m gonna smoke a cigarette for a few minutes.

Fast forward an hour later, I sent him a text message saying I’ll reschedule sometime this weekend.

Click click click!

Oh I don’t know anymore.

My head tells me to cut my hair super short but my heart wants me to grow it even longer. Unfortunately I’m not one of those people who use their head whenever they make decisions. I’m more of a ‘follow your heart, not your hand’ sappy cunt.

There’s also the guilt factor. I spent all this time growing my hair ( trust me, it’s no easy feat) and then I’m gonna lose all of it in one sitting.

BTW, I look soo fucking young with my new photos, yes? I can’t even believe it myself. LOL. I originally didn’t want to wear my colourful bracelets but I look like a bloody school boy without em.

Oh enough bullcrap. I got up at 5AM earlier this morning and I’m knackered to the bone.

Let’s play pictionary shall we?

Like what I said, I’m gonna try to gain weight.

Just a little bit.

There’s definitely something in the air these days. I can’t pin point what it is. Generally I don’t give a shit what you douchebags think but I’m quite alarmed with some of your very disturbing comments on how I’m a skeletor blah blah blah yaddi yaddi yadda.

Someone even sent me a text message asking me whether or not the rumors were true that I got sent to the basement of some hospital (where they lock up people with disorders) for a few weeks and I have a ghostwriter writing in my behalf on my blog.

WTF?

You know I went to the bank sometime last week and these 2 girls on the queue were talking shit about me. How stupid of them to LITERALLY talk behind my back when I could BLATANTLY hear what they’re saying. What can I say, brown monkeys in the flips love their gossip alright. 

They went on and on and on and on and on and on and on like:

Fat bitch in baby tee and faded jeans #1: "Oh my god si Bryanboy! Bakit ba yan sikat eh ang chaka niya."

Translation: "Oh my god it’s Bryanboy! Why is he famous when he sucks?"

Fat bitch with fake coach bag #2: "Sino yan?"

Translation: "Who is he?"

Fat bitch in baby tee and faded jeans #1: "Yung bading na may website. Sikat yan sa internet ang dami niyang fans eh puro kalandian lang alam niya"

Translate: "The fag who has a website. He’s famous on the internet. He’s got so many fans but all he knows is faggotry."

Fat bitch with fake coach bag #2: "Parang narinig ko na yun. Bakit ba siya sikat?"

Translate: "I think I heard about him somewhere. Why is he famous?"

Fat bitch in baby tee and faded jeans #1: "Sikat siya kasi ang landi landi niya. Papakita ko sa yo yung website niya. Tignan mo siya. Kumakain pa ba yan? Nakakaawang tignan."

Translate: "He’s famous cause he’s gay. I’ll show you his website later. Look at him. Does he even eat? I feel sorry for him."

Fat bitch with fake coach bag #2: "OO nga noh. Kung sikat siya eh bakit siya mukhang normal?"

Translate: "If he’s famous why does he look normal?"

Fat bitch in baby tee and faded jeans #1: "Anung normal DIYAN?"

Translate: "What’s normal with THAT?"

You should’ve heard the way they talk — stereotypical third world gossip galore. You know what I mean, the ULTRA HARDORE "OHMYGOD" kind of people. I was trying to hide my laughter allthroughout their conversation. I’m not really the sort of person who will go all ballistic and fight fight fight…. ok, fine, the drama at my former shrink’s office is the only exception

When the bank teller gave me my receipts, I gave them one long look from head to foot followed by a quick smile, then minced my way out of the bank, slowly but surely.

Oh the satisfaction.

There’s a high chance one of those whores are reading my site right now.

HELLO FATTY PATTY BOOM BOOM!

— 

I mean really, this is public relations at its finest. Why should I whore myself when other people do it for me? You know, a lot of publicists in LA/NY concoct and fabricate all sort of shit fortheir clients to be talked about on the tabloids/media/etc.I  say keep it coming. I love it. I really do. At least I don’t have to stir shit for once. LOL.

Moving on.

So yeah, I had carbs.

Went to coffee bean after shopping and bought a blueberrry cheesecake, a chocolate chip cookie and vanilla ice blended.

The cheesecake is crap. CRAP CRAP CRAP. I swear to fucking god it tastes like talcum powder with blueberry jam on it. Disgustin!

I don’t even know why I ordered it. I think I bought it only for the the camera. You know, think Nicole Richie and her staged eating sessions for the paps.

Fatty patty boom boom!

Skeletor much?

Eeeew. Look at my right elbow on this photo. I’ve got veins popping out. It’s soo Angelina Jolie isn’t it? Eeek!

UGH!! I’m really pissed people are calling me skeletor. How can I be ‘skeletor’ when my chin is fucked up?

Beurk.

Blah.

And there you have it.

Oh and here’s something for the people who call me skeletor.

Let them eat cake!

I mean really, it’s funny how people call me skeletor in real life and then a few people online accuse me of chopping.

Blah!

I don’t know about you but I need to gain 7 more pounds.

Happy trails!

Email me and tell me you love me. My email address is bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63.915.785.1492.

I love you all!

PS. Keep the faggotry alive!

38 Comments

  1. Sophie

    Hey BB,
    I’m happy that you are on the road to recovery, but just be careful that you don’t go overboard with the weightgain and end up with bulimic tendencies (It happened to me, I used to be just as skinny as you and eventually ended up with bulimia as a way of controling my increasing weight.) Trust me you do not wanna go down that road ever in your life… anyway you look fantastic and I hope that you’re feeling better

  2. madami talagang chismosang nagkalat sa mundo! nevermind those bitches, insecure lang sa’yo un

  3. BRIANBOY IS A SKELETON

    WHO ARE YOU SHITTING WITH THOSE FAKE EATING PICTURES?
    YOU DID NOT EAT THOSE FOOD.
    MAYBE YOU ATE THEM BUT MAYBE YOU THREW THEM UP.
    UGLY SKINNY FREAK

  4. Slut4Style

    Your hair looks much better this way. It balances out your entire look. Going short most certainly will not flatter your features nor your wardrobe. And why would you want to look like every other gayboy… that heinous breed with a butch do… trying, dying to be glamorously, effortlessly effete? But I digress… Love the glasses, love the neon bangles but what IS with those shoes, dear?

  5. weevil

    You look gooooood for 42!!! (hahaaaa)
    No seriously, I’m gunna have to steal this look

  6. I hope you become super famous.
    And keep this in mind: sometimes people will send you a text message that is so outrageous (like the one about the basement), just to offend you, it’s just another way for some fat, brown, poor hoe-hoe to sling mud at her private fantasy.
    Mwah! Keep the faggotry alive!
    Love from America!

  7. angelboi2001

    omg, i am loving the hair and face….flawless. the weight loss is def a plus. you look much better now. sooo HOT and i am way jealous!!! i am not digging the outfit and the shoes though….the shoes is way too butch.

  8. Those two OBESE bitches are up for sometihng??? Oh Stop crapping about BrianBoy for goodness sake.. I mean, you guys are being ridiculous. What is it that you want BB to do to make you happy all the way to heaven???? Stop being way too senseless..

  9. fatty patty boom boom!
    — sentence of the week!
    Love yah BB. whatever the weight, whatever the disorder!

  10. The hair is amazing the way it is now. Truly beautiful!
    And I like the outfit too.
    You look good!

  11. have you seen this BB!!!! this is crazy! this is the best shit ive seen in years! don’t worry it isnt spam! haha!
    THE YES DANCE!

  12. angel

    You’re not a fucking skeletor at all!!!! You’re just skinny and people who call you “skeletor” it’s because THEY ARE JELOUS!!!!!! don’t get fool by them bryan!!!! FAT IS WRONG, SKINNY IS GOOD! fat people is gloss and disgusting, skinny people like us can wear every clothes WE WANT!!!! oh bryan, you seem so weak.

  13. krystin

    You look fine Bryanboy! You don’t look like skeletor. You look so freaking hot in those shorts.

  14. panda_eats_shoots_leaves

    You look great BB! You’re at your best! More power!

  15. I’m glad that you are taking the advice of others with the whole gaining weight issue. I know it’s really hard. People used to tell me I was “too skinny” and I almost died. How could I look so fat in the mirror but others thought of me as a malnourished child from some country Angelina Jolie would go baby shopping? Anyway, I listened to there advice too and I am really glad that I did, because now looking back I realized that I really was “too skinny”. Oh and I’m so glad you kept your hair! Oh yeah, who cares what fat bitches say, you know they are just jealous!

  16. Haha. Ew. Third World “kikays” with awful english and fake handbags. i hate that breed, I swear, if they’re too poor to even buy a Coach purse, why must they try to show off their non existant wealth. Go shop at divisoria or wherever those poor monkeys go to for their dish rags they call clothes.
    I don’t see how anyone can find you overly skinny. :/ It’s not like you have ribs coming out. You just know how to work your angles well :p.

  17. that convo: argh, how RUDE. do they think you’re deaf?
    that cheesecake looketh lovely.

  18. deeyou

    I don’t understand how you can be that slim and still have a fatty chin? D’you think it’s more of a toning issue rather than a weight one? Maybe you should start on the cardio to go with your weight gain?

  19. I think you look good..as long as you’re healthy..7 lbs. would probably be good for you. Just make sure that you’re BMI is in the healthy range..
    and fuck them fat bitches..but as long as you’re being talked about its a good thing..

  20. Nikki

    the real translation of this: “Oh my god si Bryanboy! Bakit ba yan sikat eh ang chaka niya.”
    is really: “Oh my god that’s Bryanboy! Why is he famous when he’s ugly.”
    Bruha ka, papalitan mo pa ibig sabihin ng chaka. hahahahahaha

  21. Merry

    You’re definitely nearing the too thin side, but I think you still look healthy/okay. What you haven’t addressed is how gaining weight will fuck up your wardrobe. I’m a small girl – 5’2 and about 92 lbs. People have accused me of being anorexic. The problem is, if I gain 5 lbs, I need to rework my entire wardrobe — and we know how expensive that is! How will you handle this?

  22. calvin

    bryan i was once put one the same spot just because i’m gay, and i’m glad that you leveled yourself above them by walking away. their lives must be terribly boring.

  23. oh..now i miss atc, ever since we moved from the south to makati, i haven’t got the chance to visit my fave place… well don’t mind those damn bitches… they wouldn’t be talking about you, if you’re not famous and they’re not jealous with your fabulousness…

  24. joylet

    i had my fair share of being called skeletor too. it’s funny how these people who call you names are always the FAT ones, who secretly wish they were as thin as you! i’ve never been fat, maybe it’s the genes but i always wanted to be. now im gaining weight and people say i look good. but im not going to be FAT obese, just fat normal, and you should be too. food is good, bb! keep the faggotry alive!!!

  25. ambiex

    love the hair. love the colorful bracelets. love this blog. love bryanboy.

  26. don’t mind them BB..they’re just jealous of you..but the skinny you is getting scary for me, though i envy your discipline to achieve thinspiration…share some tips pls =)

  27. don’t mind them BB. they’re just jealous of you.. but the skinny you is getting scary for me..though i envy your discipline to achieve thinspiration..advice..advice

  28. I don’t care if you eat or not all I can see are those fuggly shoes!!EEEEWWW!!!

  29. bry! yeah you look a lil bit younger at those pics. hehe.
    you should’ve shove the faces of those two bithces at the bank!

  30. LuvsUrBlog

    Amazed like everyone else how young u look in these pics…Maybe u are 17!HAH!Wink Wink!
    Love the shorts and shirt…<3s IT!
    True that the bangles offset the school-boy look but the hair just emphasizes it…
    Maybe people won't think u're too thin if you got smaller-lookin shoes…Those sneaks are just humongo!

  31. simone

    those dumb fat sheapos are such bimbos or they really want you to hear how unfabulous they are & so jelly over you !! its true you cant please everyone but who cares about fake buying sluts ! i love bryanboy !! your one fabDIVA !! (oh btw those cheesecake really blows , if you want good cakes go to cheesecake etc. )

  32. Al Gore from the shed behind the White House

    You need psychiatric help. You are one crazy bitch. Lies…lies…lies… Borderline personality etc etc

  33. Hello, Bryan Boy! Like all your other fans, I am wondering what makes you so famous. I agree though that yours is one of the most alive and spontaneous blogs in bloggerville.

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