Matronic Madness & Productivity

Written By bryanboy

Matronic Madness & Productivity

Gosh, I don’t even know where to begin. I think I’ve gone wayyy too obsessed with matronic class as of late. I was just looking at pictures Miss Aissa took the other day and man, I fucking look like a 40 year old bitch. I think I’ve been looking at old Italian Vogue editorials too much.


I really need to dress my age more often no? Part of it is coming from my own personal insecurities — for some strange reason, I feel like it’s totally inappropriate for me to wear tank tops and tees anymore. Don’t ask me why. Click click click.

I’m not really in the mood to put a big song and dance on how _ _ _ I am. It’s funny cause I went to the doctors today for a check-up and the cunt gave me some bad news before telling me I need to gain. Or else he’ll force me to go to therapy. Blah. You know, what, let’s avoid the weight topic altogether because I really have had enough. At least for the next week or so. Deal? Deal.


Anyway, so yeah, I’ve been soo super busy this week. I’ve been out pretty much every afternoon, going from one meeting to the next. All these meetings, my god.  It’s obvious that a lot of people in the third world have not heard of TELECOMMUTING. In this modern age, people should be fucking working from their homes and hold meetings online/instant messenger or over the phone. Almost everyone has a high-speed internet connection, a messenger or a driver or heck, access to the post office/courier, telephone, mobile phone, blah blah blah. A lot of things can be accomplished without really the need for a face-to-face "meeting". 

The key word, really, is productivity.

To be honest with you, I can’t even count the number of times I had to go on "meetings" (god I fucking DESPISE that word) that last for 2-4 hours only to end up with a full stomach, thanks to free lunch/dinners and nothing else. For the most part, "brainstorming" usually mean gossiping about everyone’s obsession du jour from celebrities to "oh my god" situations.

Is that productive? Hell no.

I know multi-million dollar deals are made over lunch and billion-dollar deals are made on the golf course but I’m only a mom-and-pop operation so my time is super valuable. Going out, for me, is a big, painful ordeal — 30 minutes for shower/bath/grooming, 20 minutes for hair/makeup, 30-40 minutes for clothes (yes, I’m one of those people who will try 500 outfits on before going back to the first one I picked)… add travel time to that and we’re looking at a 2-hour minimum notice.

Don’t get me wrong. There are some business meetings that require a "face-to-face" interaction… meeting a client/vendor/supplier/whatever for the first time, for example. You know, for formality’s sake. But after that, do we really need to spend 3 hours a day over five days and do nothing except gossip and eat?

A few months ago, I hired a subcontractor to do a little project for me. The project went well — signed, sealed and delivered. As a client, I was satisfied with the final outcome. However, thinking about all the time I wasted on the project is insane simply because of the fact that way s/he does business is soo primitive. S/he insisted that we meet every time s/he had something to show me when that person could’ve just emailed things to me.

I don’t know about you but to me, my time is valuable than free lunch.

And then there was this time when I met up with a potential advertiser on my site.

(Actually, this happens oh so often hahaha but I’m only gonna use this one as an example. I’m not being mean and I don’t want to shrug off anyone; I’m just sharing some of my experiences hoping people might learn something out of it.)


Back to the story.

There was a time when I met up with a potential advertiser on my site. I’ve met them, yes, in person before, so there wasn’t any "meet and greet" to be done. They asked me for a proposal which I sent via email. A few days later, they asked to meet up with me over dinner to "discuss" things. Naturally I obliged — hello, they are potential clients; I should be kissing their ass because they’re gonna bring food to the table (literally, because they invited me for dinner) and figuratively because we know the manola they’re gonna give me won’t go to food but clothes and accessories.

Because I’m gay.


I arrived at the restaurant on time.

In fact, I got there first. They arrived a few minutes later. Everything went well. They asked their questions and I answered thoroughly.

It was soo good that they only asked 3 questions about my proposal and the other 400 questions revolved around Lindsay Lohan’s firecrotch, how Jessica Simpson is trash and how Britney is one big loony bin.

The dinner lasted for 3 hours.

Although I had so much fun with their company (hell it’s always fun when there’s free food and free drinks involved), I was there to do "business".

I know it’s the norm for people here (at least on my experience) to relax and lighten up because most meetings are like "this" anyway bit hell I could’ve spent those 3 hours doing other things considering I had other deadlines that night. But no, since they are a potential client, it’s crucial that I woo them with my charm (hahahaha) and personality.

To cut the story short, they could’ve asked me their questions over the phone — or via email — instead of dragging my fat ass to the restaurant for 3 hours.

Enough verbal diarrhea.

You know what people need these days? An efficiency expert.


Let’s play pictionary, shall we?

Fucking faggot. I looooovvveee it! Hahahahahah!



The tank top underneath is the reason why I look bloated on this pic. It has soo many fringes on the front. Don’t ask me, ask Bernard Wilhelm!


This image, from Italian Vogue, is soo moving. I love it. I fucking do. I have a high-resolution scan of this photo — this is my desktop wallpaper. Isn’t she aspirational? Beautiful? Glamorous? Thin? Does she not represent everything you want to be?


Sadly she has to go. I’m gonna have to say goodbye to her though because my matronic obsession has gone wayyyy too far.

God forbid if I end up like this.


Who am I kidding. I’m *that* already! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!

I’m soo gonna get my haircut soon. I’m sick of my long hair!!

Today’s Obligatory Paparazzi Shots

I’m gonna be on TV (again) soon!



As always, email me and tell me you love me. My email address is or SMS +63.915.785.1492.

I love you all!


  1. JAkey

    Hey Bry..Still looking FAb!!
    btw..whatever happened to ur accessory line? haven’t heard abt it for a while now…

  2. You are turning yourself into a woman for fuck’s sake! If you’re not careful you’ll wake up one day without your titi (is that correct?)and then where will you be?

  3. Your stupid

    Dear Bryanboy,
    “Matronic” is not a word.You’ve used it before.You must mean matronly.

  4. emaciated

    thin is okay but you are fucking bones and skeletons now you are like diggin your grave. you should eat eat eat more often bb.

  5. no you are stupid

    matronic is a slang commonly used in the third world.

  6. anianila

    careful bitch. your thin photos are too good to be true

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