Globe Visibility: Customer Service, Third World Style

Me: But I’ve been calling almost every day for the past two weeks.
Globe Telecom: Actually sir everything is noted here, your follow-ups, all have been noted here.

You may have to adjust the volume so you can hear the convo. Most of it is English though you’ll hear me use brown monkey ooga wooga mooga words every once in a while.

Hell-aw??? Hell-awwww? I signed up for Globe Visibility (wireless broadband internet access) about 3 weeks ago and it was everything I imagined it to be: high-speed internet access anytime, anywhere. For real. I can’t even count the number of times I looked at internet porn whilst being on the freeway during rush hour. Just kidding.

Let the horror begin. Click click click!

Globe Visibility is the greatest invention (for now) on the face of the planet. I know there’s wi-fi service but this thing is like having your OWN unlimited, personal wi-fi 24/7. I signed up 3 weeks ago… paid about US$80 (service fee + 1 month deposit). The monthly fee is around US$45 so it’s not bad at all.

It’s 4:30 in the morning and I’m not really in the mood to do tech speak but to those of you who are blonder and dumber than I am, this "thing", whatever it is, gives you internet access wherever there’s a cellphone signal. You hook it up on your USB port (desktop or laptop, doesn’t matter) and voila, you’re connected to the world.

Everything was fine and dandy until about 10 days ago.

051807_speedOut of nowhere, my "high-speed", wireless internet access went kaput on me to almost dialup-like speeds. It’s horrible.

Sometimes, I can’t even browse at all — especially during mornings and afternoons. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a 3G or GPRS signal. For the most part, the internet connection is crap!

What pisses me off too is whenever I’m working online, my connection stops "halfway". I don’t know how to describe it. For example, whenever I type something on my screen and click the submit button afterwards, all I get is some sort of an error message like "page cannot be displayed" etc etc etc and whatever I typed on the screen is GONE… because of my crappy connection! I have to copy/paste into Word whatever it is that I typed so I have a little "backup" copy.

Whatevs.

I’ve been calling customer service almost EVERY DAY for the past two weeks and damn idiots can’t even give me a straight, solid answer why my internet access is so slow.

I bet you my fat ass those robots were trained to pull random answers out of their hairy brown cunts.

They always, always give silly, generic and canned responses EVERY TIME I call.

I’ve heard it all before: the network is ‘down’, the specified area is currently undergoing an upgrade, the network is currently upgrading facilities, they are upgrading the service, they are updating the software, yaddi yaddi yadda.

BTW, did you know it took me about 2-3 hours to upload the little video/phone conversation to Youtube? The file ain’t that big… it’s about 19 megabytes. It shouldn’t take very long to upload the file. However, it took me soo many attempts!!

Here’s an example. I tried to upload the file and then it stopped when it reached 92%. What a waste of time and bandwidth, eh?

On my 2nd attempt, it stopped at 49%.

At this point I stopped taking screenshots.

I think one of the reasons why their phone reps are so incompetent and clueless is because Globe Telecom does NOT have a dedicated technical support team to handle all Globe Visibility/internet inquiries. The people who answer internet-related concerns are the same people who are trained to handle cellphone-related inquiries.

Excuses, excuses.

I even called on May 13th asking them how long does it take for them to research a problem and the lady I spoke to said "3-5 days".

SAY WHAT NOW?

Yep. Three to give days. It’s beyond ridiculous!

From now on, I’m gonna record EVERY SINGLE conversation I have with them and and post it on my site. I wish I recorded the old conversation from before. Ugh!

Globe Visibility is NASTY. NASTY, I tell you.

It was good while it lasted but these days, my god, it’s horrible!

I should’ve signed up for what’s that other thing? PLDT WeRoam? But no, I was forced on a 2-year contract with this little piece of shit.

If I were you, spare yourself from all the horrors. I suggest that you put those plans on hold for now especially if you are planning to sign up with Globe Visibility.

Don’t get me wrong — Globe Visibility is a godsend.

When it works, that is.

But for the past 2 weeks, the connection is royally fucked and none of them can:

1) give a specific reason why the service is crap (is there an outage? upgrade? they can’t even be consistent on this)

2) give an estimate as to when the service shall be restored to normal

Strangely enough, I’m not the only one who’s experiencing these problems.

Click one of the links below to meet some of my fellow passengers on this silly Globe Visibility boat.

  • [here] Ginormous page with LOTS of comments from unsatisfied subscribers
  • [here] Globe Visibility rant (internet forum) May 15, 2007
  • [here] I have something in common with this person. May 12, 2007

Blah blah blah yaddi yaddi yadda. It’s best to get off my soapbox.

I’m tired.

Globe Visibility please, for the life of god, fix your service. 

All I want is my high-speed internet connection back.

I love Globe Telecom. I really do. The fuckers are really amazing when it comes to new innovations. They really changed the way we live our lives. Hell… I can’t live without my phone/internet access blah blah blah.

If you are a Globe Visibility subscriber, please keep in touch by commenting on my blog — you can also email too. I want to hear your experiences.

As always y’all know how to get hold of me. My email address is bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63.915.785.1492.

I love you all!