Stop. Freeze. Listen. Work it! What would Kate Moss do?

Written By bryanboy

Stop. Freeze. Listen. Work it!

Do you ever find yourself in situations where you just want to FREEZE the moment and get the entire world to stop in order for you to tackle things one at a time? If you think people with 9-5 jobs got it hard, try having an 20-hour workday. It’s been a madhouse the past few days, it’s just CRAZY! 24 hours is simply NOT ENOUGH! People in the third world are enjoying their bloody "holy week" holidays left and right doing nothing and here I am, stressed like a prune, because of the sheer amount of things I have on my plate.

I reached yet another all-time low yesterday night. Click, click, click! It’s time for good ol’ verbal diarrhea!

040507_sI need hardcore sedatives. Seriously. I’ve never been soo busy in my entire life! I think I only had a grand total of 12 or so hours of sleep since Sunday – an average of 4 hours of sleep a day. It’s so hard being a one-man circus. I have soo many deadlines, sooo many things I need to finish.

My time management skills are also fucked up. I think I’ve totally lost it. For real.

I swear to mother fucking god, I couldn’t remember whether or not I took my pills yesterday so I went into a panic — I found myself pour the contents of the pill bottle on my bed just to count them — two, four, six, eight, ten, twelve, fourteen, sixteen, eighteen, so on and so forth, just to figure out if I missed a dose. I totally felt like a desperate drug addict, searching the room for tiny plastic bags just to lick remnants of leftover cocaine from yesteryear. That’s how BAD it was.

I froze right then and there — I’ve gone mad! In my mind, I kept uttering the words "this, too, shall pass".

How I wish there was someone to take a photo of myself counting my chlorophyll pills. There I was, on the floor, with my arms on the bed, counting my pills in increments of two and threes. Classic.

The good news is, I seem to have lost a pound or two over the past week. The bad news is, it was my sister’s birthday the other day and I ended up eating soo much cake and pasta. I don’t even want to think how many calories I consumed.

I suppose one can use my perennially neglected child, Inside My Bag as an indicator on telling how crazy my workload is. The last time I updated that baby was approximately two weeks ago. How fast time flies eh? And to think, I made a promise to update that often. I promise I’ll update that site AFTER this blog entry. I’m terribly, terribly sorry. It’s been such a hit to my Swedish fans (thanks, btw, for the Vecko Revyn magazine mention!!!!), it’s such a pain thinking they’re all waiting for the next update.


You might be wondering what are these "things" that’s keeping me oh-so-busy. Well, for instance, I’ve got to finish these ‘in-depth’ product reviews. I have three on my plate — one of which is three months overdue. I had to try the product… that’s why it’s taking soo long. Actually, I was supposed to do four product reviews but had to cancel the last one. The designer backed out in the end because they didn’t want to send product all the way overseas. I wouldn’t take it out against them though. They had the impression I’m in the USA — but then again, more than half of my readers are IN THE USA…

So what they told me is to do a review based on pictures and a press release. Okkkkkk.

Imagine the giggle I had when I found this graphic (out of sheer coincidence) on another blog that I read regularly.

Credit: Scott Adams

I’d be more than happy to do in-depth product reviews, paid or unpaid, with freebies or not, heck, that would give my readers more shit to read, but I have to see the products in person so I can take pictures and share my experience with people. How would I know if something is really nice without having first-hand experience?

I also have this "thing" I’ve been working on for months now. God, the pressure. I’ve been itching soooo bad to share it to the rest of the world (and ask for help/advice hahaha) but I signed this nondisclosure agreement with the powers that be so technically, I’m legally-bound to shut my mouth or else it won’t materialize. And I might get sued. Talk about having a *REAL* gag order! I’m already feeling pressure from them so I REALLY HAVE TO DELIVER. The last thing I want is to send lawyers into a frenzy. I guess the non-disclosure agreement is good though… to an extent. It’s a known FACT that my foul mouth is jinxed for life — we all know nothing happens every time I open my mouth about something and share my plans to the rest of the world so I guess I have no choice but to keep this project off the radar.

Gawwwwwwwwd!!!!!!!!!! Read the last sentence I wrote.

And then read the last few paragraphs before that.

You do the math.

My buttocks need one heck of a good smack.

This is silly. This is ALLL FUCKING SILLY.

It’s times like these that make me wonder what the fuck is the point of "it" all.


Everything I get myself into.

I know the answer, of course, and you’ll find out about it when my interview at this British magazine comes out soon. Gotta keep quiet on that one as well, I guess. Hah!

Have I gone mad? Have I really gone mad?

What would Vickie and Katie Pollard do? Answers on a postcard silvous plait.

You know what I need?


Who wants to have high tea with me? MMMM tea and scones and all the fancy schmancy things that come along with it. Can’t wait for a friend to come back from her holiday. She’s the perfect high tea hostess.

Hang in there folks!

This, too, shall pass.

Email me and tell me you love me. My email address is or SMS +63.915.785.1492.

I love you all!


  1. stuboy

    Calm down Bryanboy! Do what miss moss what do in this situsation… absolutly fuck all! shes a lazy coke head bitch!

  2. pepitipoo

    hey, bb..just watched vh1’s greatesr internet superstars and why the f#?* aren’t you there??

  3. You inspire me to work even harder at what I do. I love it. Your blog is motivating, funny, and dirty.
    Ambition is a girl’s best friend, right?

  4. BB ! you so photoshopped your arm on pic.1 … in reality your hand can not be thats zize to the proportion of your arm!

  5. Beverly Pills

    Talk about synchronicity. That comic strip you posted is from the brilliant Scott Adams. I have two blogs that I visit daily; yours and Scott Adams’! If you don’t already visit his blog, you should:

  6. BB,
    you now what the *REAL* Kate Moss is about to do soon? Well, I´m sure you know it a long time ago…she´s designing clothes! Spanish women love her and they are dying to buy her designs soon. She admitted she can´t draw though.

  7. Etienne

    Hey BB!
    How can I be as thin as yourself?
    I live in a country where food is plentiful; viennoiseries and espresso for breakfast, duck confit with petit fours and a digestif for lunch and for dinner Escargots de Bourgogne with Foie gras and Choux a la creme washed down with champagne (this was todays food)!
    Must I really move to a third world country where I beg and fossick for food? It is viewed as unfashionable to starve oneself in Paris. Please assist me.

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