Slut of the day: Vicky Pollard

Written By bryanboy

Slut of the day: Vicky Pollard

I’m sure you all know I love white trash. Especially those of British kind. There’s just something erotic about filthy, smelly, aids-infested, dirty, uncircumcised caucasian people. They’re unbelievably hairy and fat, they talk a lot of shit and their armpits smell like onions. Also, the thought of English DNA in the form of smegma being pumped into the deep crevices of my ass makes my mangina moist. The last time I did chav was back in 2004… guy chav, that is. I’ve had enough of the lads so why not be a chav girl just for shits and giggles.

OH MY GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE I JUST SAID THAT!

You know, I would’ve fixed the hair but I’m all for spontaneity. It will just ruin the ‘moment’ if I spend a lot of time and effort. Besides, there’s always a next time, no?

Dust, anybody? No? Dust, anybody? No?

Why do I have this feeling I actually look like Vanessa Feltz instead of Vicky Pollard?

Email me and tell me you love me. My email address is bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63.915.785.1492.

I love you all!

31 Comments

  1. Andrew

    Darling, you look like the walking sperm-banks that I see all the time in Birmingham UK!

  2. francis

    Is that skinny chav Pete Burns? Oh that’s Bryanboy lol.
    all about chav
    1. What do you call a chav in a box? Innit.
    2. What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet? Sorted
    3. What do you call a chav in a box with a lock on it? Safe.
    4. What do you call an Eskimo chav? Innuinnit.
    5. Why are Chavs like slinkies? They have no real use but it’s great to watch one fall down a flight of stairs.
    6. What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit? The bride.
    7. You’re in your car and you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him? It might be your bike.
    8. What’s the difference between a Chav and a coconut? One’s thick and hairy, the other’s a coconut.
    9. What’s the first question at a Chav quiz night? What you lookin’ at?”
    10. How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box? Paint three stripes on it.
    11. Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who’s driving? The police
    12. What do you call a chav with 9 GCSE’s? A liar.
    13. What do you say to a chav with a job? Can I have a big mac please
    14. What do you say to a chav in a suit? Will the defendant please stand
    15. What do u call a knife in chaville? Exhibit A
    16. Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Nova a shame? A Nova seats 4
    17. What do you call a 30 year old chavette? Granny.
    18. How many chavs does it take to change a lightbulb? One, they’ll screw anything.
    19. What do you call 100 chavs at the bottom of a river? A start.
    20. How many chavs does it take to clean a floor? None, “That’s some uvver bleeders job innit.”
    21. Why did the chav take a shower? He didn’t mean to, he just forgot to close the Nova’s window in the car wash
    22. Why did the Chav cross the road? To start a fight with a random stranger for no reason whatsoever.
    23. What do you call a Chav at college? The cleaner.
    24. A bus full of Chavs were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Llanfgogogferrinfourasoch they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town’s name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one Chav asked the blonde employee, “Before we order, could you settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are… very slowly?” The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said,”Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing.”
    25. Two chavs jump off beachy head, who wins? Society.

  3. phoebe

    ohmygod you love little britain too!!!!!!!???? too bad they are not showing it to star world anymore…

  4. you look like paris! lol a classless white trash! ewwww haha! i like the real bb!

  5. deeyou

    Hahah you look like a cross between Jordan and the chav Kate Moss – love it!

  6. andrea

    OMG bryan WHY WHY WHY are you such a HOT female? For some reason that nasty rats nest of a wig looks great against your lovely skin. If you use that wig and your cone heels in your faggotry-in-motion-in-process it will be the greatest thing EVAR. like, a gift from the gods. no, really
    ;)

  7. So fucking gawgeous. Making my queer dick bounce and leak with excitement. This is just what I needed before heading off to bed.
    Wet dreams of chav-tastic Bryanboy. Mmm.
    –Mars

  8. Were you the one I saw yesterday afternoon at the Peninsula Hotel lobby with your sister and your family? I swear that was you because I saw your Birkin!

  9. gorgeousness! pure gorgeousness! ahhh my eyes!!! hahaha! best slut of the day i think!!!

  10. ooo… my sisters and i LOVE little britain. we began watching it from DVDs. vicky pollard and that fight fighters lady who’s always after her ‘fatties’ are major fabbies. my personal favourite’s the Scottish guy with the hotel.
    i can’t believe there’s someone else around here who’s heard of it. : )
    yeah but no… but yeah, but yeah, but no. :p

  11. dreamerboy

    I can’t believe this, but Bryan you look better as a woman than you do as a man! Even as a chav you look fucking hot! And I’m a gay man so that’s sayin somethin!

  12. i got hooked on little britain ever since i saw it on star world. they don’t have it there anymore! :(
    no but yeah but no but… haha! gotta love that chav vicky. though my fave characters are marjorie (fuckin “fat fighters” hypocrite!) and emily (who insists he’s a lady!). little brit rocks!

  13. do ting ting !!! she’s so funny… or was it ling ling ??
    p.s. i love you bryanboy

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>