Lauren Bush wants to feed third world sluts

Written By bryanboy

Lauren Bush wants to feed third world sluts

Presidential chu chu bells family member Lauren Bush is making waves with her little charitable IT-bag project, thanks to her new role as the United Nations World Food Program honorary spokesperson.

According to United Nations, it costs US$34 to feed a third world slut like myself for an ENTIRE YEAR. Proceeds from the sale of this $59.95 bag will go to starving children in the fabulous third world! Loads of people have already ordered the bag so expect to see an avalanche of burlap-totting bitches in America soon. If I were you, buy one now! It all makes perfect sense, my friend. Why spend $59.95 on feeding yourself when it’s soo much better to feed others and get a cool bag in the process? At the end of the day, you’re the thin one with the bag and you can laugh at all the third world fatties you fed!

Remember: good deeds and feeding people is finally back in fashion. If you’re a pill-popping, throat-fiddling, anamia karenina bitch like me, this could be our only salvation/ticket to heaven when we die so FEED people NOW!!

2 Comments

  1. You know the cookie baking mix that makes like a whole batch of cookies? I ate the whole fucking receipe. I feel like a food slut. Bluergh.
    The cookies were vegetarian/organic/blah blah I DONT CARE I FEEL LIKE A COW. I’m only eating fruit tomorrow, fyi.
    What I hate is when these hollywood bitches treat the whole african starvation-thing like a trendy thing and they all start adopting little kids and wear crappy ugly handbags because they’ve suddenly had such a change of heart but not really because they still regularly drop $20,000 at XYZ sweatshop-labor-fueled-store.
    if you’re going to be a fucking philantropist, you do it all the way. right?
    Hollywood has one foot in Africa and one foot in anorexia, it’s fucked. they should make up their fucking minds.
    okay. i’m sorry. i have pent-up cookie-angst.
    hugs.
    –Mars

  2. Georgi Georgiev

    That’s cool! Congrats for supporting it BryanBoy!!! You’re a celeb, so you have a great power to influence people worldwide. By putting things like that on your website you’re really making a difference. I’ll buy the bag… Thanks for posting that!

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