Lauren Bush wants to feed third world sluts

Presidential chu chu bells family member Lauren Bush is making waves with her little charitable IT-bag project, thanks to her new role as the United Nations World Food Program honorary spokesperson.

According to United Nations, it costs US$34 to feed a third world slut like myself for an ENTIRE YEAR. Proceeds from the sale of this $59.95 bag will go to starving children in the fabulous third world! Loads of people have already ordered the bag so expect to see an avalanche of burlap-totting bitches in America soon. If I were you, buy one now! It all makes perfect sense, my friend. Why spend $59.95 on feeding yourself when it’s soo much better to feed others and get a cool bag in the process? At the end of the day, you’re the thin one with the bag and you can laugh at all the third world fatties you fed!

Remember: good deeds and feeding people is finally back in fashion. If you’re a pill-popping, throat-fiddling, anamia karenina bitch like me, this could be our only salvation/ticket to heaven when we die so FEED people NOW!!