Philippine Fashion Weak: DENR Uniforms

Written By bryanboy

Philippine Fashion Weak

Philippine Fashion "Weak" (as coined by Chuvaness) is in full swing. I was supposed to go to the shows yesterday evening to support my favourite Filipino designer, Mich, but after that little hoolabaloo incident earlier this week I thought, what the heck, might as well save any remaining traces of my sanity and dignity by staying indoors. Fast forward 12 hours later, lookie lookie at what I found online. Screaming, in-your-face slogans are, well, back! Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to present you the all-new staff uniforms of the Department of Environment and Natural Resources!


All photos courtesy of Aimee.

Jesus, look at that annoying font they used on the word "FASHIONISTAS"? I don’t think you can get any tackier than that. It totally screams "Aling Nene’s Home Baked Cookies" or whatever. Well… lots of people ‘around the globe’ read my blog so there…

First off — I have no idea who designed these tops. Chances are, it’s probably someone I know or someone who knows me. God, I am soo gonna get in trouble again but you know what, fuck it. I’ll say what I want to say ABOUT THE CLOTHES/CONCEPT and not the designer so please don’t take it personal against me.

Now… will someone please speak up and/or raise their hands if they truly, genuinely care about the environment, global warming, blah blah blah, yaddi yaddi yadda?

I know I don’t.

I’m not gonna be a hypocrite and say that I care because I really, really DON’T.

I DON’T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT.

I, for one, like to smoke all forms of flora not to mention eat, devour, skin and WEAR fauna, oh and I can’t live without airconditioning too, thanks very much. Besides, I’d be lucky to reach 75 years in this lifetime, I don’t believe in reincarnation (god forbid I reincarnate to a cockroach) and I certainly won’t reproduce so why the hell should I care about the state of the planet when I perish from the face of the Earth?

So when they came out with tees like these, I thought, hmm… whatevs.

WHO IS THIS GUY???? OMG DOES ANYONE HAVE LIKE A PROPER PICTURE OF HIM? HAHAHA I’M SUCH A SLUT.

Now.. don’t get me wrong.

I’m sure the intention behind their designs is pure. I admire them for raising awareness — THAT’S WHAT MATTERS. It’s great and wonderful that they are concerned with the environment and they want to share such concern to ‘fashionistas’ and their ilk.

However, let’s not kid ourselves — every single fashionista bitch inside the tent watching the shows probably share the same sentiments I have.

I’m no fashionista — I’m not a stylist, make-up artist, designer, model, creative director, muse, editor, publisher, buyer, show producer, writer, columnist, whatever. I don’t work in fashion AT ALL.

Anyway, fashion is… well.. fashion!  Based on what I know (and feel free to correct me at any point), the fashion industry requires lots of resources in order to thrive and survive and it’s pretty much INEVITABLE to have an negative impact to the environment.

According to the BBC..

Many of the clothes we wear today are made from synthetic materials such as nylon and polyester. Nylon and polyester are made from petrochemicals, which are very polluting to the environment, causing global warming. They are also non-biodegradable, which means they don’t break down easily and so are difficult to dispose of. In order to manufacture nylon, nitrous oxide is released as part of the process. Nitrous oxide is a greenhouse gas that is 310 times stronger than carbon dioxide and causes global warming.

Viscose is another artificial fibre, made from wood pulp. To make viscose, wood pulp is treated with toxic chemicals such as caustic soda and sulphuric acid.

Natural fibres have their problems, too. Cotton uses more pesticide per cotton plant than almost any other crop in the world. This has serious impacts, causing illness and even death amongst cotton farmers who are exposed to dangerous pesticides every day. These pesticides also affect local eco-systems, killing certain plants and animals and causing an imbalance.

The chemicals used to grow cotton remain in the fabric and are released during the lifetime of the garments so they affect people wearing clothes too.

Hazardous chemicals are also used on wool – for example in sheep dips, where they have been linked with illness amongst sheep farmers.

Certain dyes are thought to cause cancer. In many parts of the world, garments are dyed or bleached using toxic chemicals without proper precautions; the chemicals used can then affect workers and flow into sewers and rivers, damaging local ecosystems.

Virtually all polycotton (especially bedlinen), plus all ‘easy care’, ‘crease resistant’, ‘permanent press’ cotton, are treated with the toxic chemical, formaldehyde.

—-

Leave the environmental hoolabaloo to the people WHO DO IT BEST: those cute Australian and British tree-hugging volunteers who fly all the way to the third world to intern for a Philippine NGO but spend a majority of their time drinking cheap beer and fucking cheap pussy.

Stick to designing beautiful, gorgeous clothes that people would want to wear.

So let’s not fool ourselves thinking that we care. There really is NO solution. If y’all really want to save the environment for the sake of fashion, the only thing I could think of is to go COMPLETELY naked.

But if you were to ask me, I’d rather wear FUR than go naked.

I’m fat and fugly. I need something to hide my body and my obese booty.

AMEN.

Email me and tell me you love me. My email address is bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63.915.785.1492.

I love you all!

23 Comments

  1. Hi Bryanboy, that guy in the picture is Corey Wills(model) and a supporter and member of PETA(i think). He is also the boyfriend of Raya Mananquil. They are both PETA supporters and Yoga Instructors.

  2. imamused

    maybe henry holland should appeal to DENR also hahaha. aww henry you are now a one big pinoy inside joke…

  3. guerojo

    PUTANG INA MO! WALA KA NAMANG ALAM SA FASHION AKALA MO KUNG SINO KA MAGSALITA.
    BOBO!

  4. Manila Fashion

    Why do you have to be so vicious with your review, Bryan? You should support our fellow countrymen not slam them. You have a popular blog and you should use it to promote Filipino talent.
    I’m extremely disappointed and I’m gonna have to think twice before I visit your site again.

  5. The TSHIRTS are ugly. I’m all for good intentions, environmental chuvanessences, and all that. But these feel so CONTRIVED. It’s like their riding on the global warming issue to propel the show. CONTRIVED CONTRIVED CONTRIVED. Message sending failed. I do not feel any more sympathy towards trees etc. after seeing models run the walk in these shirts.

  6. putting messages on tees?! that is so OUT of fashion. uk designer katherine hamnett did it AGES ago b4 any of us were born dammit!!

  7. Dior_Bitch

    good lord those shirts.good intention…horrible design.Not fashion week material sweety.please try again

  8. that’s by far the MOST RIDICULOUS runway fashion show I have ever seen in my fucking entire fucking life.
    WHAT’S with those shirts and skirts?
    The only HOT thing in “that” shit was the super hot guy from peta…rest is crap.
    TRY AGAIN, NEXT!

  9. Anthony

    FUCK U BRYANBOY! U don’t care about the environment???? WOW bryanboy, u truly are one amazing individual. You hit two birds with one stone here huh! You lambasted your heritage and the environment! WOW!!!!! That’s something to be proud of. Your blog should not be voted on any blog awards. YOU ARE SHIT BRYANBOY! You talk english like, yeah it’s like, when i like, to tell you the truth, you don’t sound good when you speak english. PASOSYAL, mas magaling pang mag-english yung kapitbahay naming baklang parlorista. At least yun, hindi pretentious. WHEN I SEE YOU, I WILL KILL YOU. FUCK!!! FUCK U!!!

  10. yeah i used to like this blog… now it’s like you’d do anything to grab attention. traffic not as heavy nowadays?
    i don’t hate that you don’t like the environment — though you are sustained by it; i don’t hate that you wear fur — though you have no use for it; and most of all, i don’t hate you for being gay — though i think it’s gross.. call me shallow, but i don’t like your blog anymore because your face was starting to really bother me. you look like the people you mock.

  11. almost_libelous

    That’s not Corey Willis. That’s Raphael (forgot his last name), winner of the Best Model of the World 2003 by MTV Philippines & Jag.
    It was the same year where Brent Javier and Ria Bolivar won other titles (forgot na)
    PS: Stop hating on Bryanboy people, he’s just being himself
    xoxoxoxoxo

  12. oh bryan dear…don’t listen to peasants…they have brains the size of a dundruff…don’t mind them…they haven’t seen fur their entire life so they would never…as in NEVER understand…
    hugs hugs…kisses kisses..
    mwahhhhhhh

  13. ugh. corey?! that guy does NOT look like Corey at all.
    Yup, that’s Rafael, or Rafa as other would call him. He’s half something, Swiss I think. I once observed a photo shoot where he modeled for Frederick Peralta during my internship.
    The shirts are trying too hard. Eew… And who composed the statements anyway? So high school essay writing contest with the theme: pretentious.
    I LOVE YOUR HONESTY BRYANBOY.
    -james
    literarybulimia.blogspot.com

  14. princesah

    weL,lets just all respct ideas,opinions,comments,reactions of other peopLe in diff. situations…thats wat bryanboy wants to say so d heLL we care bout it…we can also hav our own opinions nman eh!
    and in my own,i can say dat those cLothes are trash!!but dats fashion…so..dats it..leave it to dem!

  15. hmm… too many words… and an ugly font yea = definitely not cool… oh well… but we do gotta save the world bryan boy!

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