Dinner is served.

Written By bryanboy

Dinner is served.

Oooooh I am soo full from my meal! One thing I’ve learned over the years is that there is no other way of being in charge other than doing things on their own. Did that make any sense?

Mmmm yummy! And healthy, too. I love food!

From this day onwards (god knows until when it’s going to be…. we all know my plans are fluid) but yeah, from this day onwards, in order for me to lose weight, I’m gonna have to prepare my own meals. Why? Because everyone in this fucking household is fat, that’s why. Even our maids are fucking fat. Damn whores should be rail thin from all the work they do but everyone is fucking festively plump from all the food they eat. Everyone eats AT LEAST four times a day, shit, Miss Aissa, for instance, well, her favourite afternoon snack is peanut butter on toast. Not one, not two, not three but FOUR pieces of bread. If she’s not in the mood for peanut butter or marmalade, she’d layer wayyy too much butter on her toast and coat it with brown sugar. What’s worse is when the maids get you in their afternoon snacking habit by bringing trays of food and fruit juice up to your room like some sort of offering to the gods. It’s terrible. TERRIBLE!

You wanna be like Lindsay Lohan minus the rehab then go right ahead. I’m not stopping you. As for me, I have seen the future and there is NO WAY IN HELL I’m gonna be like that. I think she looks wayyy soo much better last year when she was 105 pounds, dontcha think?

Like what I said, from now on I’m gonna prepare my own meals and snacks — at least I have control of my food intake. I hate joining the familia de horreur for meals because they all eat like horses. The nutritional content of the food they eat is toxic. TOXIC! Nutritional content my fucking ass, they don’t care about calories at all!

I started tonight and hopefully (pray to god please allelujah jesus alone saves so where is jesus when you need his hairy jewish ass) I’ll stick to my little plan. You know, I’m not even gonna diet. I’m gonna eat as much as I want, whenever I want.

I found this LOVELY web page called "what does 200 calories look like" and I was just amazed. AMAZED! I had a terrible time trying to comply with the 200-400-600-800 calorie rule but with my newfound chart, maybe I’ll give it another shot. Click here to see it for yourself. I printed that page and went to the supermarket (more on that on another entry) to shop for food.

I’ll obviously indulge (ocassionally) with "real" food but for now, I’m gonna try to stick to that 200-calorie rule.

Nice idea, huh?

On that note, I decided to have broccoli for supper… and yes, I did all the hardwork myself.

I got this huge broccoli thing, sliced it off the oh I dunno what you call it… stems?

And then I boiled it for a few minutes.

I asked for some minced carrots to add color to my meal and voila! Dinner is served.

Am I fucking good or what?

I love it!

My god, I just realised something.

I’m destined to become a housewife!

Now that I know how to cook, all I need to do is find myself a nice, gorgeous well-hung young man who will propose to me with that Graff ring my fairy godmother showed me.


  1. yay im glad you finnaly starting to starve you’r selve and get free from you’r obesity, just remember to drink lots of evian bitch so you wont fait…

  2. The placemats look like Ralph Lauren’s… always in good taste. When I quit smoking as New Years thing I immediately realized that the fridge needed to be filled with food that could be eaten in HUGE continuous snacking quantities and that most of the other stuff needed to be tossed out like chips, ice cream, peanut butter, etc. It’s now 100% unprocessed natural stuff lilke grapes, blueberries, carrots, rice and leafy green things. It’s sort of boring but it works.

  3. Why the fuck do you want to be as thin as those dying models you see on tv? You’re a powerful blogger, thousands or even millions read your blog, you are setting a bad example. You’re getting worse Bryanboy. You want to be as thin as waht you have photoshopped? That thin? Tang ina!!!! You suck bryanboy. GO TO HELL.

  4. You should steam the veges. & put some lemmon pepper on them. Great taste no calories!!!!!!!!!

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