Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god! Are you in the third world? I need your help **NOW**!!! I ventured outside my grandma’s house and went to sari sari store and found these.

I can’t even remember the last time I had this shit but man, this is sooo. fucking. good. I’ve been looking for this crap in Makati supermarket FOR YEARS but they don’t sell this over there. Can someone please tell me what they’re made of? TELL ME NOW! I’M BEING INTERVIEWED BY SOMEONE FROM NYC LIKE NOW AND I WANNA TELL THEM ABOUT THIS SHIT. I know they’re made from sugar but my mum said they’re from sugar cane or whatever. I need specifics! The bitch barked at me — she told me how they’re soo full of bacteria and shit because sweaty third world men roll this on their shoulders or whatever. IS THIS TRUE??? THEY’RE SOO GOOD THOUGH. OH MY GOD.

Oh just bloody tell me what this shit is made of.

[Edit: I'm trying to pinpoint what they taste like and I'm thinking the caramelized sugar crust of a good ol' creme brulee.]