013107_babylonMust-buy NOW: FASHION BABYLON by Imogen Edwards-Jones (& Anonymous)

The new book by Imogen Edwards-Jones, Fashion Babylon, is the must-buy book of the season.

I always wet my pants every time a new "tell-all" book comes out. Why? It’s soo entertaining to read about the glorious misadventures, the gory mishaps and scandalous revelations of the affluent, the powerful and the fabulous — proof that they’re human and have flaws, too.

[Bryanboy's note: Many of you expressed how y'all miss my verbal diarrhea so here's one for the girls.]

Another reason why I love "tell-all" books is that there’s a very brave person out there who isn’t afraid to put her name, her face and herself on the frying pan just to back everything that was written on the book. Let’s face it – backstabbers, scandalmongerers, gossips, bitches and assholes (there’s a difference between the latter two btw so I refer you to one of my favourite new blogs, VFT4R on that) are a dime a dozen these days and personally-speaking, most vitriol-spitting cunts I encounter on a daily basis are pure cowards, often hiding behind anonymity.

We all bitch and gossip. We really do. People who say they don’t are fucking h-y-p-o-c-r-i-t-e-s and should be sent to Darfur wearing nothing but Barbour. We can only delude ourselves to a certain degree, thinking we’re nice and we don’t really talk about other people behind their backs but come on, why deny the sheer satisfaction we get every time we engross ourselves in other people’s lives simply because our own life is boring, dull and we don’t have anything to do with our time?

013107_imogenFashion Babylon is a new book by Imogen Edwards-Jones, author of Hotel Babylon and Air Babylon. I first heard about it from New York magazine, who described her as "a nearly perfect specimen of the English chattering classes: productive, archly scandalmongering, and connected (Candace Bushnell is her daughter’s godmother)."

According to her interview, supermodel Kate Moss sued her and they lost 23 pages worth of stories to libel.

Kate allegedly went to a photo shoot for a British Vogue cover high as a kite, drugged/fucked up and people had to hold her up and were later airbrushed out.

I FUCKING LOVE IT!!!!!!!!

Is that good gossip or what?

One could argue that bad gossip can ruin someone’s relationships, reputation or career. Just a few words from the wrong set of people can send you packing for Timbuktu. I guess it all depends on the way you handle things.

013107_maryWe live in a time where everyone treats rehab as vacation spot galore du jour, have an eating disorder (that includes your overeating fat ass, Mary), have commited a crime, been arrested, got busted, gone to court, been sued, gone to jail (repeat 1000x and you’ve got Peter Doherty), proclaim on national television that they contracted chlamydia from a dirty old perverted man, have shown their cunts to the rest of modern civilization to see, where politicians are corrupt and still remain in power and of course, a time where priests are revealed as pedophiles. When you take everything into consideration, what else could be more damaging if these people managed to rise above the ashes, the scandals and the controversy? Other than death, of course — my mother have always told me that artists make even more money when they’re dead.

Nothing matters anymore these days. People love controversy and scandals — the more, the merrier. Some attention whores, along with the best publicists money can buy, deliberately create their own drama just to be talked about. The more someone gets trashed, criticized and exposed, the more publicity they get. Whether you like it or not, gossip creates hype and hype is a good money-maker.

At the end of the day, we all masturbate in front of our favourite hollywood gossip websites before we sleep at night.

It’s all fair and square to people who depend on publicity for their careers but what about the average folk/private citizens? Well, in my experience, sometimes it’s best to just turn a blind eye.

013107_maryAbout a month and a half ago, one of my lesbian friends rang me up in a panic, saying she found out, on an internet forums, of all places, some really derogatory rumors about this girl she is ‘sorta seeing’, who I also happen to know. Obviously she felt cheated and lied to becaus the girl hasn’t told her anything. She’s also worried that something might happen to her, yaddi yaddi yadda — you know, the predictable. I’ve known the girl in question only for a few months and all my dealings with her have been pleasant so I’m not really in a position to tell my friend to cease her relationship (and any forms of contact) with the girl. 

What did I say to her? 

The first thing I did was ask whether or not the girl did anything REALLY REALLY bad to her.
She said no.

Gave her death threats, punched her on the face, stepped on her 5-inch Louboutins?
No.

So what seems to be the problem? Apparently she found this 138-page thread (I shit you not — I saw it with my own eyes) about the girl saying how she’s a promiscuous slut (aren’t all sluts promiscuous anyway?), that she’s only bisexual for the attention. And there was a time she went out with this girl while she had a boyfriend, only to pass time because the guy is often away yaddi yaddi yadda. It was ridiculously petty, I’m tell you.

I know it was insensitive of me but I ended up laughing to her on the phone and told her that at the end of the day, it really was nothing. I even pointed out that I’ve had my own fair share of flak, perhaps "huge chunk of the pie" is more appropriate, and she knows, because she saw some of the shit that has been said about me. I asked her well, why are you still talking to me then? She replied by saying how I was "different" because I have a blog and it’s "natural" how people will always have something to say about me. 

013107_maryI told her that she shouldn’t treat the bull dyke any different than me because it really doesn’t matter whether they have a blog or not or they’re out in the public eye. If there’s someone out there who wants to say awful things about you, they will do so, online or real-life, amongst their group of friends or wherever. Instead of believing rumors and sheer hear-say, why not go straight to the person involved and ask her whether or not it’s true. There’s always two sides to a story. Whatever happened to common sense? We’re all mature adults, and to think, my friend had the best education money can buy and here I am, trash deluxe with no absolutely breeding whatsoever, giving her advice. (Sorry babes hahaha but I have to point that out so I feel better about myself lol)

Anyway, if the rumors were true, so what? That was the past and she’s in the present. Maybe she’s reformed and trying to have a new life so why use her alleged past against her? It’s not like the bull dyke murdered someone, raped someone or forced an underaged girl to have liposuction because they weighed 125 pounds and have bat wings the size of Canada.

Am I giving three cheers for the underdog? Nope. If the girl hasn’t changed and/or she got all mean and nasty to her, then she could always cease the relationship anytime. Regardless of what happens, she should be exercising caution anyway, and it’s really up to her to make that decision and not from me because she’s the one who got her own dealings with the girl.

After a 2-hour long conversation and yes, you’ve guessed it, a Canadian-sized phone bill, she eventually found clarity.

Fast forward a few weeks later, I went to a little dinner and those lesbians are now an item. God. Public displays of affection and all. It was soo disgusting seeing them kiss like lovebirds with their boobs rubbing against each other. Hahahah! Mind you, I still have emotional scars.

Gossip is terrible but it’s fun. It’s the forbidden fruit that makes life worth living. What’s wrong is good, what’s bad is right. Is it really a bad thing to pick up the phone when a friend calls you to inform about someone’s cheating boyfriend, giggle for a few minutes and exchange a perfectly harmless tirade of "oh. my. god" or "you have got to be kidding me" or "oh nooooooooo!"?  Another friend told me yesterday when I brought this ‘gossip’ subhect up and she said gossip is only good as long as we’re not the subjects. Being the subject of ridicule by numerous catty claws in the past, my heart wanted to agee with her but the voice inside my ka-ching, ka-ching head said no.

013107_maryI guess it all boils down to the fact that I developed a tolerance over insignificant things.

Some of my loyal, long-term blog readers have seen the endless amount of insults and crap that’s thrown my away but you know what, none of them really matters. I actually find it even more insulting when people ask me how on earth I manage to "deal with it". It’s simple really — ignore, ignore, ignore.  I must be really special for them to dedicate a fraction of their time to say crap about me.

And believe it or not, in some ways, I actually love it. It’s always interesting to read what people say (usually though it’s the same old tedious and tired crap) or see all the commotion and drama that goes on as a result of my actions. I just fucking love it! Why should I deny that I’m one big attention whore? Sad and pathetic? To some, yes, but you know what, attention is what keeps me up all night. We all have our quirks, fetishes and addictions and it happens that one of my addictions is attention.

It’s better than cocaine.

or animal prints.

Enough verbal diarrhea.

With all of that being said, should "write" a "tell-all" book of my own?

Probably not.

Unfortunately, I don’t have any anything juicy to say about others. Besides, most of y’all already know what I know anyway, and then some. NOTHING IS NEW ANYMORE! Hahaha.

Maybe I’ll publish my little black book of sexual conquests instead. Phone numbers are concealed to protect the innocent. LOL.

Yep! It REALLY is a little black book — it’s smaller than a business card and about the same size as a mini lighter.

Little Black Book available from Smythson of Bond Street. Visit http://www.smythson.com.

Enough about me.

Everyone buy Fashion Babylon. Available at Amazon.com for US$16.50 (originally US$25). 

P.S. Which of the following recent British Vogue covers is the one Imogen talked about on her book? The one where people had to carry Kate Moss because she was soo fucked up on the shoot? Photos courtesy of British Vogue.

I prolly won’t find out the answer but my gut instinct says either the September 2005 issue, September 2004 or December 2001. Probably the December 2001.

God. She really is sooo beautiful, don’t you agree?

September 2006

June 2006

March 2006

September 2005

September 2004

December 2001

September 2000