I’m dying!!!!!!!!

I’m dying. I’ve ran out of cigarettes. Last time I had a smoke was about 6 hours ago. It’s 11:29PM here, everyone is sleeping including the maids, the driver is gone, our neighbour next door doesn’t smoke, the shop is about 2 kilometers away from my house and I’m not gonna walk at this time of the night, in the dark. Don’t ask me to drive — I don’t know how. I’m soo desperate!!!!!! I just can’t function at all.

I can’t wake up the maids cause they have to be up by 5AM (yes, they’re human and they sleep too).

This is the worst feeling ever. I suppose I could put on some gold lycra leggings, a silver sequined top and walk the dog? No?

SOMEONE HELP ME!!!! I NEED MY DUNHILL LIGHTS!!!!!!!!!!