Australian Government, anyone?

Written By bryanboy

KangarooAustralian Government, anyone?

I know there’s a shitload of people around the world who read my website including people from the land of the kangaroos, uncircumcised surfer boys with funny accents and Ksubi so maybe they can answer my question. Depending on my projects and if I have time… AND money lol… I’m seriously thinking of going to Sydney on holiday for a week and Melbourne too for another week to visit one of my buddies over the next few months when it’s cold there.

Does anyone know whether or not it’s easy to get an Australian tourist visa? Do I need to compile a shitload of paperwork, wait for months to get an appointment, overdose myself on hardcore tranquilizers, queue for HOURRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSS, deal with bollocking bitchy Filipino pleb receptionists before getting interviewed by an ageing consul who will ask silly things like "what are you planning to do in our country" despite the fact that you’ve written "VACATION & TOURISM PURPOSES – I AM GONNA FUCKING PUMP MONEY IN YOUR GOD DAMN ECONOMY AND TRY TO CONTRACT AN STD, ASSHOLES!" on the visa application form.

I went to the Australian embassy website and there’s far too much information my mere 2 brain cells can handle. I just fucking give up. I know many of you out there don’t need a visa to go to Australia because y’all have first world passports but in my case (this is in addition to looking like a brown ricer whore), I’m one of the 84 million unfortunate third world souls in this fabulous country whose booger-coloured passport comes with a warning label that says "WARNING: POTENTIAL BOAT PERSON ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT".

Please tell me they’re easy to deal with and they’re like EU/Schengen embassies where everything is a breeze.

I find it funny that I’m asking this question here considering the buddy I’m planning to visit in Melbourne did an internship for the OZ government and got assigned here for a year but bitch doesn’t know anyone in the consular department. LOL.

Email or post a comment if you have something to say.

P.S. On a totally unrelated subject, IS IT TRUE THAT GETTING A COMMUNITY TAX CERTIFICATE (I’m starting another business/venture blah blah blah) COSTS P5,000 IN MAKATI????


  1. Contact details
    eligibility here
    Generally not very hard to get, but you will need to show contact details for where you’re staying etc…mind you, this is no different to the US either.

  2. I’ve been to Australia twice! It’s easy to apply for a tourist visa if to be compared to the US. George Bush sucks…

  3. hi there bryanboy
    just came from melbourne last year.. that city is so lovely.. had the chance to visit sydney too…
    well its not really that hard to get a visa.. in my case, i needed to secure a certification from my boss that i am employed, and that i have a leave of absence for a certain no. of days. Also, your friend needs to send a letter saying that he/she will support you while you are staying there and he/she also needs to send bank records or so to you. you will then have to attach those documents with your application form and passport. i actually sent mine thru fed ex because the australian embassy has a tie up with fed ex. but anyway since you are in manila, you might just as well drop it off the embassy, i guess. it took me a week to get my passport with a visa stamped on it. hope you get yours too :)

  4. Nina D' Lizard

    Yeah, more extensive paperwork but very much like getting a US Visa. You can dropbox the application with the requirements and since you are not staying more than 3 months, you don’t need to get a medical insurance. I’m going to Sydney and Melbourne too come May 13-27 after my US and Canada trip this April-mid-May. Cya!

  5. Thats a mad idea. We Melburnians will highly welcome the Earth’s gayest third world fag to our humble city.

  6. You’ve been everywhere, bryanboy! i’m sure once they see your passport, you’ll definitely be approved. you can have your travel agent arrange it for you and they would just tell you if you still need a personal appearance. its not that hard.

  7. Jon – I’ll be supporting myself. I’ve wanted to check out the W hotel in Sydney because I still have a shitload of points with my frequent hotel program and then I’ll stay at a hotel in Melbourne too. I don’t want to stay at my friend’s apartment because obviously I want to take home cute guys back to my room for some dirty and kinky fun. hahahaha *kidding* Nah, I’m not a freeloader… i’ve always supported myself :P
    do i need to have a letter from an australian citizen? wtf????

  8. Babe…are you coming to visit me for my bday or am I just wishful thinking??!! lol.. Lova ya biatch. Baboosh

  9. Fuck Aussie!!!!!! The australian embassy is one of the most beauruecrat embassy ive been. Its a pain in the ass to appky for a tourist visa coz again…a gazillion of filipinos are illegal immigrats there. My visa was denied just because they think that i wont be able to support myself while i was there and they thought my intention wasnt genuine…fucking hell..i only want to check the fucking mardi gras…i dont wanna live in aussie and certainly i dont wanna be poor over there..i have a way much better life than most people over there. my chinese friend was denied for a visa also because they thought being a young chinese aged below 30 will have a tendency of being an illegal immigrant over there. I was planning to go for mardi gras again this year but i just gave it a no. They required too much papers and shit. yes they require bank and emplyement certificates, health insurance, credit card bills etc. i think i will only visit aussie if i have billion of dollars in my account. i think its better to visit schengen countries, go to spain, or greece…try to go to bali also as its fabulous. cape town and johanessburg is an option and im sure u will love it there especially cape town. do a lil bit of safari shit and be gang banged by some white africans. another option is istanbul. i dont think visa is hard to get on those mentioned countires…..for me i would really recommend schengen countries and its much better than bumfuck aussie…….go to europe…go to amsterdam, czech, croatia, ukrain ………….lolz ull enjoy it there…and fuck filipino passport!! it suck big time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. omg you got denied? eeew. that sucks.
    ugh fuck other countries! i wanna go OZ!!!and see kangaroos and go to melboune and see my bitch friend who i haven’t seen in a month

  11. BV.. bitch if you can get me a visa in 3 days and a concorde then sure, why not, i’ll visit you on your birthday this sunday

  12. bryan
    the letter is just for the sake of formality.. maybe you can get your friend to do that for you.. of course it wouldnt mean that you would be a free loader.. it just makes the whole visa process easier for you.. and well i wasnt a freeloader either bryanboy :)

  13. Youre lucky than i am. At least you have been to other countries. But from what ive heard when you have Visas from UK and US you will get Australian Visa easy… How come you didnt get one? And from the look of it, you can afford to travel? I have just been denied for Aus Tourist Visa and its really hard. Damn just want to see australia and have Christmas with my BF.. Is that bad????

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