VOTE NOW!: America's Next Top Sex Offender (CYCLE 2)

Gay men of the world, grab your manginas! Ladies, get ready to wet your pants! Sexy, gorgeous beasts like you and me love our guys fresh and young (let's face it, who wants to play with viagra) but boy oh boy these boys, oh yes, these boys love them YOUNGER!!! Hello KIDDIE FIDDLER central! From Vermont and Oregon to Texas and Nebraska, I've searched tens of thousands of horny testosterone-charged profiles across the land of the free and home of the brave for boys who are doable enough to fill that wide, moist gaping void we face during our dry spells!!! This is better than MySpace y'all!! These lovely fertile creatures with big, heavy balls filled with felony schmelony creamy white thick milky warm population paste MAY NOT BE FASHION WEEK material but hell, compared to the sex offenders I've seen, these babies -- err I mean -- these baby lovers -- are the hottest thing on the sex offender interweb!!!

Calling all my minions: please please please help me in whoring my little new labour of love. Get your own minions to visit this link. Post it on your blogs, forward it on emails, mention it on your podcasts, heck, I'll even be grateful if you tattoo it on your favourite slut's ass. I don't care! http://www.bryanboy.com/bryanboy_le_superstar_fab/2007/02/americas_next_t.html. I'll forever be indebted. Do it for the little children!!!

Are you ready? Click click click!

Well hello there!

Remember the little Maine sex offender gangbang I wrote about 2 years ago? Click here to read the entry. Well, I thought I'd revisit one of my hilarious classics for shits and giggles.

I originally wanted to confine my inner sick, twisted and perverted tendencies within the borders of Maine. However, I realized it would be soo much better for my moist mangina if I extend it across America. Afterall, the United States of George W. Bush is a melting pot of cuties, hotties and sex offenders who like them pre-pubies.

Sooooooooooooo... with that being said, I would like to present you...

America's Next Top Sex Offender
Cycle 2

Believe it or not, I spent the past numerous hours over the past 3 days trolling around various American sex offender registries for the hottest sex offenders that side of the northern hemisphere have seen. Most of them are old, fat, hairy and just plain old disgusting. It really wasn't a feast to my poor eyes. Every once in a while though I'll come across gems... gems like the ones you're about to see below. They may not be cute, they may not be hot, but hell I wouldn't mind bending over if they fondled my brown Asian ass. 

Except for the blond girl. Hahaha!

Unfortunately, it's never gonna happen though because some of these people like em young.

Except for the one who likes "foreign objects".

Whatever that is.

I sure do feel sorry for their victims. Come on, some of these people could've easily went to a friggin gay bar just to get an orifice.

With all of that being said, I invite you -- my dear reader -- to cast your vote on who America's Next Top Sex Offender is. You can all view their composite cards (haha as if they're models) by clicking the "view portfolio" links. I'm not sure if all of them will work, especially the Texas ones (I love their registry btw, they even keep track of shoe size!), but you can search for the name blah blah blah.

The winner of this season's contest shall receive a handwritten letter from me "saying hi, hello, you're gorgeous, let's be penpals!" on either my Mrs. John L. Strong or Ordning & Reda stationery, a picture of me as a child, and various current photos of me -- my famous camel picture, me in chinchilla fur, heck, I'll even throw a picture of Mrs. Granny Bee to see if they're into MILFS as well.

What do you think?

I think it's FABULOUS!

So go right ahead and take your pick. I only have 19 candidates this season -- I figured 3 days of "research" is MORE THAN ENOUGH. I promise I'll have better ones next season. 

• [view portfolio] Bradley Joseph Dulay (Oregon)
  Bradley is 23 years old, 5'8 and 135 pounds. He reminds me of one of my acquaintances in Gothenburg, Sweden except my Svenska Sverige buddy likes MILFS lol. Anyway, Bradley's victims are minor males -- he'll generally persuade them into a sexual encounter by framing it as a game, however, may resort to using threats if the victim begins to resist his advances. Sooo sick! Hahaha.
• [view portfolio] William Lee Wickham (Maine)
  William is 23 years old. I like the droopy eyes. Bitch better shave his face though. Anyway, he kinda looks like a younger version of what's his face, the bottom guy from Brokeback Mountain who likes to take it up the ass? No, not the one who said I wish I knew how to quit you but the other one. He got busted for sexual abuse of a minor.
• [view portfolio] Timothy B Parker (Maine)
  Timothy is 26 years old. Although he's not my type, I fucking love his look! He definitely perfected that stereotypical Aryan white nationalist look going on. It's sooo serial killer chic, just like the movies! Ever seen the movie with that albino guy named "powder"? That's him right there! I love it. I reall do. This guy is a trooper. In 2002, he got busted 3 times and got charged with a grand total of 4 counts of sexual abuse of a minor. Sooo nasty! Hahahaha!

• [view portfolio] Earl Charles Mauser (Nebraska)
  Daddy oh daddy! Earl is 30 years old. I generally don't like guys in their 30s but I'm not getting any younger these days so I really have no choice but to raise my age range. I wonder what he'd look like if he shaved his face. Anyway, home boy got convicted for sexual assault of a child. Dirty pedophile. I like his neck though.
• [view portfolio] Daniel Ryan Beaupre (Vermont)
  He's 26 years old, 5'10 and 170 pounds. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG Daniel is one of my favourites. Not because he's good-looking... trust me, he's not. I like him because he looks like that harmless boy-next-door type who is all quiet and friendly but little do people he's a kiddie fiddler!!! Imagine if he showed up at the set of Desperate Housewives... I can see Eva Longoria say "nuh uh he can't be a kiddie fiddler!". HAHAHAHA! Raging hormones and hard cocks galore, this guy got charged 5 times in a span of 6 years -- multiple convictions for lewd and lascivious conduct with children AND sexual assault. Well good for him. I hope he's getting it rough and hard in whatever correctional facility he's at. Don't drop the soap baby!
• [view portfolio] Mark Lucas Daly (Texas)
  I FUCKING LOVE THE TEXAS DEPARTMENT OF PUBLIC SAFETY! THEY EVEN KEEP SHOE SIZES (OH YES) FOR THESE BOYS!!! FUCKING HELL!! AMAZING! FUCKING AMAZING! Anyway, Mark is 20 years old, 5'10 and 140 pounds. He looks cute. HOT!!!! Unfortunately, he likes 6 year old boys. Yep. He got convicted 2 years ago for indecency with a child by exposure. What's that anyway? He showed his pen0r to a 6 year old boy? Disgusting. He could've shown it to me and I wouldn't say a word to the cops. But then again, I'm only 17 so that would be like statutory rape. Ooops. Well, you know what they say -- you can't really rape the willing... and the willing is ME!!!!! God I love white trash.

• [view portfolio] Caleb Solomon Baldiviez (Texas)
  He looks like a younger, non-hairy latino version of Jude Law on the middle picture. Don't you agree? It's just that Jude Law is into old ladies like Sadie Frost, Sienna Miller or nannies... and not 8 YEAR OLD GIRLS! What a waste. This guy should be inseminating boys like me instead. Sooo hot but sooo nasty! Only in Texas baby, only in Texas.

• [view portfolio] Ali Majid Tharis (Nebraska)
  Ali is 23 years old, 5'9 and 170 pounds. I like boys with exotic names. I think they're hot. None of those Tom, James, Bob or Sean or Mike bullcrap. I also like variety. I like to think of myself as an equal opportunity lover. I've been with no more than 5 Arabs in my entire life and it sure doesn't hurt to have more. You know, some of the best fucks in my entire life came from a Turkish guy who is 2 years older than me. His cock was bigger than my arm! I'm sure Ali got something to match. Afterall, boy is a naughty one -- the folks in bumfuck Nebraska classified him as "high risk" -- he got convicted of sexual assault twice in a span of 2 years. He sure does like it rough... well.. he can give it to me rough. YES PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!
• [view portfolio] Steven Richard Ward (Oregon)
  Steve is gonna turn 25 in 4 days. He's 5'5 and 130 pounds. He's not really that good-looking but I simply had to post his mugshot here -- look at his facial expression. PRICELESS! I really don't know how he managed to smile --- he got convicted for sexually abusing a 9 year old boy. Oh well. This is why I think mothers shouldn't trust their children to anyone. Boys will just rape them and girls will just kill em. Hello baby shakers? You know, I saw this thing on tv a few days ago where nurses in Russia scotch-taped the mouths of newborn infants just to stop them from crying -- in the hospital ward!!!!! It was INSANE!!!!! Anyway, like Daniel from Vermont, Steve looks like one of those "harmless" people -- NEVER TRUST A GOODIE-TWO SHOED PERSON!!!!!!
• [view portfolio] Jeremy Alan Bates (Nebraska)
  Here's another birthday celebrant -- he'll turn 22 on February 11!! According to the State of Nebraska, Jeremy is 5'8 and weighs 270 pounds. He's like thrice my weight!! I could only think of three possible options: either he's fat, he's super muscular or it's a clerical error. I'll leave it up to you to decide. Either way, he got convicted of sexual assault. Eeew. Good god gracious.

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• [view portfolio] Kevin Michael Ayers (North Dakota)
  Kevin looks soo hot, don't you think? He's a shortie -- 27 years old, 5'8 and 155 pounds. I don't like his earring but what the heck, he's in North Dakota and we all know white trash boys channel Kevin Federline one way or another. I'd looove to dress this guy up. You know, put him in 5-inch Louboutins and turn him into a little drag queen bitch. Soo hot.
• [view portfolio] Jonathan David Solberg (North Dakota)
  Jonathan loves em jailbait alright! In a span of 3 years, he got busted twice for doing the deed with 14 year old girls. What is this guy's problem??? Is 14 the magic number? He even got one of the 14 year old girls preggers. Crazy I'm telling you. CRAZY!!!! Only in North Dakota mother fuckers. Only in North fucking Dakota. If you look at his face again, he looks like one of those 'harmless' types. Oh well.
• [view portfolio] Daniel David Aesoph (South Dakota)
  You know, when I first saw Daniel's photo, I immediately thought of that Australian crocodile hunter guy. There's something oh-so-Oceania about his look. I think it's because of the hair and the tan. I don't know if it's me or not but anyone with blond hair and a tan but lives in bumfuck America is just wrong. Sooo wrong. He got busted in 2003 for showing his cock to a girl. Poor female must've been scarred for life. Either way we'll never know what happened.

• [view portfolio] Joshua Ray Bowen (South Dakota)
  Joshua is 26, 6 foot tall, 180 pounds have brown hair and brown eyes. I could only imagine this guy is a jock in real life though you can't really tell cause the picture is black and white but whatever. I bet this guy is sexy if he shaved his face and he's prolly fit and all that bullcrap. ARE THERE NO FUCKING GAY BARS IN SOUTH FUCKING DAKOTA? Jesus mother of Joseph, this guy raped 2 boys -- age 3 and age 6 -- when he was 24!! Kiddie fiddler alert! My god, I know a shitload of queens who will do anything just to get their hands on this guy's man meat but ho bag would rather go straight to the day care center. Oh well.
• [view portfolio] James Joseph Renninger (Colorado)
  Here's another one who looks like an aryan white pride nationalist. Hello SS Officer!!! Trust me -- he's the hottest one in his state. I cannot believe Colorado is filled with the ugliest fattest sex offenders. I still have emotional scars from browsing their registry. I mean for god's sake, isn't Aspen in Colorado? PEOPLE OF COLORADO, DON'T Y'ALL GO TO ASPEN ONCE A YEAR TO SKI AND SNOWBOARD IN YOUR CHANEL? WTF! YOU SHOULD ALL BE FUCKING FIT BUT HOW COME ALL THE BOYS IN THAT SHITTY STATE ARE HIDEOUSLY OBESE? Anyway, James Joseph (I'll call him Jimmy Joe for short) is 6'2, 160 pounds have brown hair and blue eyes. He got convicted of sexual assault on a child last year and he's currently incarcerated.   
• [view portfolio] Kyle Vincent West (Idaho)
  Oh my god. Oh my fucking god. I loooove the hair!!! I love the chin! I love the jaw! I should rename him to "Huff McGruff" or something. He's the ultimate North American lumberjack. I bet you one day he'll turn into one fine bear complete with a beard and chest hair. Can you imagine -- I stared at his photo for like 10 whole minutes, more than anyone on this list. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS BUT he's not like drop-dead gorgeous... there's just something hypnotic about him. I think it's the hair. Oui? Anyway, he got busted for rape back in 2002.

• [view portfolio] Patrick Tyler Oar (Idaho)
  This has got to be the weirdest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. This little Idahoan lumberjack got charged with "ATTMPT-SEX PEN W/FOREIGN OBJX2". I have absolutely no idea what that means -- my inner Miss Cleo said "2 counts of attempted sexual penetration with a foreign object". Foreign objects? What are those? Did he fuck a Mexican? Did he fuck a Filipino? Did he fuck a Swedish person? I mean, Mexicans, Flips and Swedes in Idaho *ARE* foreign objects am I right? Maybe he got himself one of those fleshlight things... or blow up dolls? I mean, they could be illegal in bumfuck Idaho for all you know. No? Whatevs.
• [view portfolio] William Blaine Hanington (Idaho)
  I thought I'd include William because he does sorta look like one of my ex-boyfriends. My ex had light brown hair though. I think he was fatter, too, I'm not sure. But then again, anyone weighing over 100 pounds is fat so there. William got convicted of "enticing a child over the internet". My god. MySpace maggots who like jailbait -- BEWARE!
• [view portfolio] Danielle Renee Galvan (Idaho)
  I added her on my list because she's like finding a diamond in the rough. 99% of America's sex offenders are male. In that remaining 1% of females, ALMOST ALL OF THEM ARE FUCKING NASTY BULL DYKES. Danielle is the only decent-looking one. She got convicted for sexually abusing a child under 16 years. I have a feeling she'll be one heck of a MILF one day, just like Eva Longoria. You know, she'll be this super rich matron who does nothing but yogilates the entire day and then she'll like have sex with her 15 year old gardener. LOL. Eeew. Like that's gonna happen anyway. There's NO yogilates in Idaho!!!!!

SPECIAL MENTION

Meet The Idaho Debutantes (Sex-Ed Class of 1989). This is not your ordinary high school reunion.

I would like to give a big shout out to the state of Idaho for producing the most sexually-charged children on earth. All of these young sex offenders were born in 1989. Some of them are one-off rapists, some are child molesters, some are... well.. let's not even go there. Let's just say they're not squeaky clean. But then again, who's squeaky clean these days anyway? We all have our pasts... I mean for god's sake, I GOT CRABS WHEN I WAS 15!!!!!!!! So there. Click here to read their profiles.

VOTE NOW AND WIN A NECKLACE!

To cast your vote, all you need to do is email SEXYBRYANBOY@BRYANBOY.COM with the contestant number on the subject line! If your choice is #2 then email me with "2" on the subject line and nothing else. Keep it simple!

You can only vote once so be sure to choose wisely.

Voting ends on February 28, 2007. NO EXTENSIONS. I'll announce the winner a few days after that.

One lucky winner will also win an exclusive, hand-made necklace. I'll the winner out of random as to who to send the necklace to. DO NOT EMAIL ME YOUR MAILING ADDRESS. I'll email the winner after the contest.

Oh and feel free to pass this around to as many people as you know. Contests are fun if there are tons of voters! =)

Email me and tell me you love me! My email address is bryanboy@gmail.com. SMS +63.915.785.1492.

I love you all!