Bryanboy.com - Fashion Blog

Paris Hilton: Herpes medication, anyone?

Paris Hilton: Herpes medication, anyone?

I seriously thought it was just some old rumor and nothing else (yes, I know I'm naive but one of my best qualities is that I give people the benefit of the doubt hahaha) but man, this is revolting. Isn't herpes FOR LIFE? I must be REAAAALLLY lucky. I've had sex with a little over 380 guys in my entire life and the only thing I've caught is crabs -- once -- and I was like 15 or 16. It truly is a miracle that I'm a bouncing, healthy fat baby boy with no disease.

Now this is something else. Click click click click click!

The Cool Times and Crazy Life of Paris Hilton... Exposed!

The Cool Times and Crazy Life of Paris Hilton... Exposed!

(SAFE FOR KIDS BUT NOT SAFE FOR WORK)

[NOTE: IF YOU CAN'T VIEW THESE PICTURES, PLEASE COME BACK SHORTLY OR CHECK LATER BECAUSE I'M HAVING SERVER TROUBLES BECAUSE OF THE LOVELY LARGE TRAFFIC SURGE. I SUGGEST THAT YOU MASTURBATE FIRST LOOKING AT www.myspace.com/bryanboy THEN COME BACK IN A BIT. I LOVE YOU ALL!]

Now *THIS* is what I call the fantastic life. Sex, drugs, rock and roll, fake IDs and of course, Amanda Lepore! I'm sure many of you had already seen these photos from ParisExposed but I'll post them on my site anyway for posterity's sake. It's amazing how life is soo good for the beautiful ones whereas in my hey day, there was so much drama with drugs -- who's mooching, who's sharing, who's not sharing...

The Face: Carine Roitfeld

The Face: Carine Roitfeld

She's the fiercest best-dressed bitch on the face of the planet and I love her to death.

And I want her t-shirt.

(Edited 11:13PM I think hers is a dress and not a tee but whatevs)

NOW!

Men's Leggings at Marni!!

Men's Leggings Meggings at Marni!!

[ADDENDUM/UPDATE/EDIT - MARCH 26, 2007 - WHY SETTLE FOR MEGGINGS WHEN YOU CAN GO FOR MEN'S HIGH HEELS AKA MEELS!!!! CLICK HERE FOR THE LATEST UPDATE ON THIS SERIES. OH AND I LOST WEIGHT SINCE THEN. 15 MORE POUNDS TO GO! I WANNA BE 90!! HAHA!]

OH. MY. GOD. If there's a reason to smoke crystal meth this year and go manorexic, it's the leggings at Marni and the stirrups at Prada this Fall/Winter 2007. I'm telling y'all -- men's leggings are all the rage in Milan! It's time for me to ditch my tights and go for leggings! I HATE MY MAN LEGS. THEY ARE SOO FUCKING GROTESQUE, HIDEOUS, DISGUSTING AND OBESE. They look as if they belong to either a cyclist or a gym bunny, or worse, to a fat person. They're sooo not proportionate to the rest of my body and I have to deal with my thigs every fucking single day. Ignore the ski cap cause I can't be bothered to fix my hair and put on makeup.

Jacket from Helmut Lang, asymmetrical shirt from Ann Demeulemeester, leggings from WeLoveColors.com, sunglasses from Valentino, ski cap from Louis Vuitton, shoes from Tod's.

Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax

Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax

#1 - Legs akimbo girls, I'm soooo soo happy! Effective Monday next week and every Mondays thereafter, I'll be spreading my faggotry over the fabulous Melbourne airwaves. That's right. I'll have my own little segment where I'll share some third world lovin' lovin' to the youth of kangarooville for a few minutes. My first appearance started yesterday but this blog post didn't make it in time -- got up late and then you've got bloody time zones and all. If you're in Melbourne, Australia, be sure to tune in to SYN 90.7 FM every Mondays (Melbourne Runway show) from 2PM to 4PM Australian EST. "Melbourne Runway" talks about fashion, fashion, fashion and even more fashion!

Many thanks to Mel and my Australian pimp Ms. V (ya better pimp me in Sydney, too, and oh, I want lots of freebies from OZ designers) for making this possible. You know, I've never thought of adding Australia on my "world domination" list so now is the time for me to plan my OZ invasion! I think I'll give this media whoring a shot to keep the faggotry flame alive. Oui?

Manky Pacquiao is a terrorist.

Separated at birth.

Most of you (90% of my readers to be precise) probably won't understand what I'm talking about so I'm leaving this one out to my fellow countrymen.

I'm so glad the Manny Pacquiao fever is over. Can you imagine? There was a time when this man monopolized the entire country for what? For winning a few medals and competitions here and there for boxing. I swear to god, he sent the entire third world to a halt, got all these corporate endorsements and rumors went flying that he's gonna be running for politics. A lot of Filipinos kissed his ass because of all the publicity he got -- politicians and pathetic mother fuckers clung to him like leeches on super glue. He was also labelled as some sort of a "hero" (or a "god") and monuments were literally erected to his honor. Bitch please. It's one thing to recognize someone for his talents but a lot of people here went above and beyond the royal treatment and worshipped him like god. I'm sure he's a nice guy and I'm proud that he's able to win all these boxing matches yaddi yaddi yadda but everything was just a little too extreme. I love the blogger who called him a monkey. Three cheers for freedom of speech. I feel sorry for the young girl though. She got all these death threats from people and now her website is down. I think she vanished from the face of the planet. Anyway, I kept my silence throughout all this time and when I saw this photo on the paper last week, I just knew I had to post it here.

Bryanboy Loves: SOPHIE AHLSTEDT

Bryanboy Loves: SOPHIE AHLSTEDT

My favourite Swedish rock chick ever, Alex, Queen of Hard Rock, called me just a few minutes ago to tell me about my first ever Swedish magazine "appearance". Ok, it's not exactly a full-on feature (maybe I'm not THAT special yet.. we'll get there. Don't worry.) but whatever, I'm not gonna complain. It's not often cunts from the third world such as myself get mentioned on Svenska Svenska magazines so I'm happy and I really don't care I ended up piggy backin' on a sexy blonde Svenska Svenska girl just to see my icky name in bold print. Am I pathetic or what? Jealous much? Hahaha! Jag vill ha mitt egna uppslag på Vecko Revyn också! Ge mig lite kärlek, slynor!!!!!!

Bryanboy Loves: Jenn Hoffman

Bryanboy Loves: Jenn Hoffman

Her name is Jenn Hoffman and you'll find her on the new season of Donald Trump's The Apprentice on NBC! She's also the entertainment reporter for 101.5 FREE FM in Feeeeeenix, Arizooooonahhhhh. My website is one of her favourites and she even references me on-air!! I love love love her because she loves loves loves me so I think you should love love love her too!

My god, I really can't help but think why oh why oh why am I still in the third world? I'm soo jealous (but happy... for people) that everyone else is PROACTIVELY chasing their dreams whereas I'm still stuck (and helpless) in the third world. I reaaaaalllly need to move somewhere, spread my wings and fly and evolve into a bigger entity. Don't you agree?

She's the pretty one (because I said so) on the ladder, not that you can see her amongst the sea of American cows!

Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax coming up next.

Y'all better vote for my chubby little prostitute Asian ass on bloggies.com or else I'll send my goons to "sort" you out.

2007 BLOGGIES: Team Bryanboy!

2007 Bloggies: Team Bryanboy!

I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SAY THIS BUT TAKE BACK EVERYTHIGN I SAID ABOUT THOSE DISGUSTING "AZN PRIDE" ASIAN AMERICANS, FILTH FOBS, THAI LADYBOYS, GI BABIES AND FILIPINO WHORES!!!! I NEED YOU MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!!

OH AND HOLA CHICA CHING CHONG CHINA MAN!!!!! I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO CALL ALL THE RESIDENTS OF CHINATOWN ON EVERY CORNER OF PLANET EARTH! I KNOW THERE'S BILLIONS OF YOU OUT THERE!!!! CANAL STREET! BINONDO! GERRARD STREET! LET'S ALL UNITE AS ASIANS AND HELP ME KEEP THE FAGGOTRY ALIVE!!!! 

View From The Fourth Row

View From The Fourth Row

I know, I know. I haven't really "blogged" properly in the past week. I'm kinda depressed (long story) but rest assured, things will go back to normal soon. Promise. I haven't camwhored in a while for god's sake and I know you aaaaallll want pictures of me gallivating around the cesspit of the third world.

OUCH.

By the meantime, check out my latest discovery, a blog entitled "View From The Fourth Row". It's written by a Conde Nast staffer... absolutely hilarious and I fucking love it. My mother might well be a fuckin bovine but I know I can sleep at night the obese cow ain't two-faced. Haha!

Keep in touch maggots! I'm here and I'm queer. I just need to compose myself. That's all.

Malcolm McLaren: Madam Butterfly

Malcolm McLaren: Madam Butterfly

I FUCKING LOVE THIS SONG!!!! I haven't seen the original Christian Dior Haute Couture S/S07 video yet but I have a feeling they used "Madam Butterfly" by Puccini; Malcolm McLaren (1984). You guys know how MUUCHHHHH I fucking love Malcolm McLaren.

Sing after me: Calling Butterfly, Madam Butterfly... that's the name he used to give me... he's my man till the day I die... Oh sweet Butterfly, so sweet Butterfly... She's waiting... He'll be back, I have faith in this love track.

CHANNEL 4 UK: SKINS

SKINS

Meet the people of SKINS. A new TV series fresh from Britain's Channel 4. My god. Is the 1990s back? Watching trailers like this make me feel REAAAAAAALLLLLLLLY old. I mean come on, it's not exactly yesterday that I bought 10 grams of cocaine from my former drug dealer, gave 6 bags to frenemies and kept 4 to myself.

Christian Dior Haute Couture Spring/Summer 2007

Christian Dior Haute Couture Spring/Summer 2007

I've been away from the computer because of my hypertension scare -- my blood pressure literally went up to 184/98 on Saturday brunch because I binged on crispy, crunchy, fried pork (aka crispy pata) so I ended up taking my dad's hypertension medicine before going to the doctors. They told me to stay in bed all weekend... it's my fault though cause I've been starving myself recently but hey... I want to be thin. So there.... no more fried pork for me. What was I thinking eating a cup-full of toxic anyway? *sigh* Proof that food... good ol' delicious food.. can KILL YOU!!!!!!!

Trust me, I'd rather be a fragile skeleton wearing some of the world's most decadent and lavish dresses than be a bouncing, healthy fat boy in normal, boring clothes. Ugh. The current state of my body is hideous but whatevs. Enough health talk... why talk about health when there's haute couture!!!!!

Buyer Beware: Do not do business with Midphase, Zak Boca or Dan Ushman.

Buyer Beware: Do not host with MidPhase

Run by no other than Zak (Zachary) Boca and Dan Ushman, MIDPHASE is the WORST WEBHOSTING company I have ever encountered in my entire life. I repeat. Do *NOT*, under any circumstances, buy a webhosting account with MidPhase. Even my gurlfriend Michael K. of Dlisted.com will agree with me on this one.

I know this blog entry doesn't fit my usual verbal diarrhea about fashion, homosexual sex, substance abuse and eating disorders but whatever. Webhosting drama after the jump!

Top Twenty Tees

Top Twenty Tees

You can never have enough hats, gloves and shoes......... and tees! Shop, shop, shop!