Christian Dior Haute Couture Spring/Summer 2007

I’ve been away from the computer because of my hypertension scare — my blood pressure literally went up to 184/98 on Saturday brunch because I binged on crispy, crunchy, fried pork (aka crispy pata) so I ended up taking my dad’s hypertension medicine before going to the doctors. They told me to stay in bed all weekend… it’s my fault though cause I’ve been starving myself recently but hey… I want to be thin. So there…. no more fried pork for me. What was I thinking eating a cup-full of toxic anyway? *sigh* Proof that food… good ol’ delicious food.. can KILL YOU!!!!!!!

Trust me, I’d rather be a fragile skeleton wearing some of the world’s most decadent and lavish dresses than be a bouncing, healthy fat boy in normal, boring clothes. Ugh. The current state of my body is hideous but whatevs. Enough health talk… why talk about health when there’s haute couture!!!!!

00460mThe first thing I did when I went online today was search for couture — literally. As you know, it’s big daddy John’s 10th anniversary in the House of Christian Dior and I only have one thing to say (for now at least): 2007 is the year I’ll throw my dignity out the door and prostitute my tight brown Asian ass to a dirty, hairy, fat, old, bald (and extremely wealthy) Arab.

If there is one couture show that I keep my eye on season after season, it’s no other than John Galliano for Christian Dior. I’m not sure whether or not you’ve seen the latest collection but man… I really have no words. A lot of the pieces are breathtakingly beautiful — scrumptious colours, the amazing details, the Japonesque references and origami-like confections, the hair, the hats, the accessories, the jewels, the sky-high lizard shoes, the classic bukkake makeup… Erin O’Connor… oh and Shalom Harlow as the bride? My god, need I say more?

I don’t want to get too emotional (I still have tears on my face) but yeah, this collection is truly magnificent… haute couture at its finest..

and this is what big papa John does best.

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Video courtesy of TheMode.Tv

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Photos courtesy of wireimage

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These are my favourite pieces:

Photos below courtesy of Style.com

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Look at all the details!

That’s Alek Wek’s ankle. It’s probably bigger than my obese wrist. *sigh*

Is this fabric, feathers, or 500,000 butterflies intricately sewn into 1 dress? You tell me. Either way, it’s art. GORGEOUS!

Stunning hat.

Alek Wek, still alive and going strong…

Are those corals? Clever. I loooove "raw" and unpolished stones…

Intricate embroidery and FLAWLESS beadwork. Only haute couture baby…

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My conversation with Mauricio went like this…. and he even made the effort to find me a dress to wear at the Oscars…

Bryanboy said: oh
Bryanboy said: my
Bryanboy said: god
Bryanboy said: i almost died
Bryanboy said: babe
Bryanboy said: i want i want i want
Bryanboy said: dresses
Bryanboy said: lavish dresses
Mauricio: fuck dior
Bryanboy: did u even see
Bryanboy: i had tears fall down my eyes
Bryanboy: i was sick for 3 days betch
Bryanboy: my blood pressure went up to 184/98
Mauricio: what a god awful collection
Bryanboy: fuck you
Bryanboy: criticize it then
Bryanboy: how is it awful?
Bryanboy: it’s the best johnny did so far
Mauricio: it’s crap
Mauricio: no
Mauricio: please
Mauricio: the sissi collection was much better
Mauricio: this one just looks sloppy
Mauricio: a true fashion eye can see that
Bryanboy: how is this sloppy?
Mauricio: sissi was the best
Mauricio: it was REAL couture
Mauricio: this looks like halloween
Mauricio: i’m sorry
Mauricio: i just know what’s good and what’s bad
Mauricio: i don’t live in a fantasy world
Bryanboy: lol
Bryanboy: so where do u live?
Bryanboy: elie??? hahaha
Mauricio: in harsh reality
Mauricio: and in my harsh reality, women don’t wear origami swans
Mauricio: most of that collection is a mess
Mauricio: and the shoes have to be the ugliest pieces of shit i have ever seen
Bryanboy: OMG
Bryanboy: I LOOOOOOVE THE SHOES
Mauricio: i’m barfing
Mauricio: they’re so awkward looking
Mauricio: i wouldn’t wish those upon the worst drag queen
Bryanboy: you really don’t like galliano do you
Mauricio: the first couple of years at dior were heaven – 97, 98
Mauricio: best of his career
Mauricio: don’t go out into the deep end bryan
Mauricio: you were on such a good path
Bryanboy: good path?
Bryanboy: what do u mean?
Mauricio: you were letting me be your fashion guide
Mauricio: when you do it yourself, you go to hell
Mauricio: stop it
Bryanboy: but you know i’m a dior girl at heart
Bryanboy: d-i-o-r
Mauricio: stop it
Mauricio: alaia
Mauricio: mugler
Mauricio: montana
Mauricio: leger
Mauricio: these are your fashion gurus
Mauricio: not galliano
Bryanboy: like emily blunt at golden globes??
Mauricio: yes!
Mauricio: (see picture –>)
012306_yooxMauricio: for you to wear to the oscars
Bryanboy: lol eeeew! I AM NOT GONNA WEAR THAT DRESS TO THE OSCARS!
Mauricio:  ok then look like a mongo
Mauricio:  the other sister
Mauricio:  is that what you wanna look like?
Bryanboy: whatevs
Mauricio:  or do you want to look like a vixen? a bad girl gone worse?
Bryanboy: vixen
Bryanboy: but that dress will make me look like a prostitute
Mauricio:  prostitute is in
Mauricio:  forget about mongoloids
Bryanboy: hahaha
Bryanboy: BUT I AM ASIAN
Bryanboy: I’M BROWN
Bryanboy: I’m SMALL
Bryanboy: TINY
Bryanboy: LITHE
Bryanboy: SKINNY
Bryanboy: SLIM
Mauricio:  you gotta look like laura dern in wild at heart
Bryanboy: me sucky sucky 5d dolla me lyk origami
Mauricio:  that’s what you gotta look like
Mauricio:  brown and tiny is perfect for the vixen look
Mauricio:  you’ll look overpowered in galliano
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I think that’s all for now. I’m still in awe. Really.Soooooooooooooooo beautiful.

I’ll never have the opportunity to wear haute couture in this lifetime (a. i’m a boy, b. i’m dirt poo and I literally cannot afford to spend over US$100,000 on a dress — that’s how much it costs for a basic one) but I could always, always dream because it’s free.

To be honest with you, I’m already happy seeing all of this stuff online. I’m contented being a voyeur to the grand art of haute couture. Now if John Galliano sent me a signed notecard and a small piece of fabric with "I LOVE BRYANBOY" embroidered on it then hell I’d be the happiest girl on the planet.

Dream my friend, dream on.

Email me and tell me you love me. My email address is bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63.915.785.1492.

I love you all as always.