Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax
#1 – Legs akimbo girls, I’m soooo soo happy! Effective Monday next week and every Mondays thereafter, I’ll be spreading my faggotry over the fabulous Melbourne airwaves. That’s right. I’ll have my own little segment where I’ll share some third world lovin’ lovin’ to the youth of kangarooville for a few minutes. My first appearance started yesterday but this blog post didn’t make it in time — got up late and then you’ve got bloody time zones and all. If you’re in Melbourne, Australia, be sure to tune in to SYN 90.7 FM every Mondays (Melbourne Runway show) from 2PM to 4PM Australian EST. "Melbourne Runway" talks about fashion, fashion, fashion and even more fashion!
Many thanks to Mel and my Australian pimp Ms. V (ya better pimp me in Sydney, too, and oh, I want lots of freebies from OZ designers) for making this possible. You know, I’ve never thought of adding Australia on my "world domination" list so now is the time for me to plan my OZ invasion! I think I’ll give this media whoring a shot to keep the faggotry flame alive. Oui?
#2 – Bryanboy loves people from Shepherds Bush, London UK, Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia, Hemiksem, Antwerp Belgium, Canberra, Australia, Warsaw, Poland, Tel Aviv, Israel, Bemmel, Gelderland Holland, Uberindia, Minas Gerais Brazil, Guayaquil, Guayas Ecuador, Utrecht, Holland, Paris, France, Huesca, Aragon Spain, Fortaleza, Brazil and of course, people from Omaha, Nebraska (REPRESENT!). Say hi to my moist mangina, don’t be shy!
#3 – OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!! I wanna cry! I’m still in shock!
I was in bed late last night, enjoying a little pot of jasmine, pretending to read a book while my brain’s wandering off somewhere in dreamland and guess who called me to catch up after 15,000 long years?
It’s no other than my long-lost friend Jane from Moscow!!!!
My god… I haven’t heard from her in ages. AGES, I tell you!!! I lost one of my phones a long time ago and her phone number was there. I wanted to catch up with her too but didn’t really have a chance. Boy I’m soo glad she somehow found me again.
Anyway, Jane’s a reallly lovely girl. It’s funny how I’m older than Jane by a couple of years but she’s like the older sister I never had. Bitch is alpha female at her finest. She always had my best interests in mind and she spoiled me rotten every time I went to Russia (I make it sound I’ve been there lots of times but I only went there like twice in the past 3 years). We’d hit Moscow’s poshest restaurants, get drunk on bellinis, sabotage our food and stuff our faces full with truffles and black risotto while being surrounded by Russia’s powerful politicians and businessmen plus their wives and mistresses nearby. Those were the days… hahaha!
I’m soo glad things are going well with her. She’s bound for Cuba this week to go on holiday for two weeks. CUBA, OF ALL PLACES!!!! Apparently she found herself a boy last summer when she went on vacation in Italy.
What did the beeyotch do? Bitch mother fucker worked her charms, imported the Italian guy and they’ve been living together! The Italian guy moved to MOSCOW just because of her!! They’ve been together for like six months. The guy doesn’t even speak Russian — he’s now taking up lessons and gonna find a job. And to think, Moscow isn’t really the most English-friendly city on earth so it must be reaaaallly tough. But hey, that guy is super super lucky to have Jane on his side! I even asked her what her dad thought of him and she said he’s fine with it. OMG, I should’ve taken a photo of her dad. I met him at a dinner party one time and boy, he’s sooo fucking HOT, especially for a middle aged guy. He looked like he was in his 30s. Fit, buff, muscular. I saw his pecs underneath his cashmere beige turtleneck. Man, it certainly was some sight. Hahaha! (Sorry Jane, I can’t help it. LOL.)
I’m not gonna deny I’m kinda jealous. I’m trying to figure out the reason though…
a) I’m jealous because Jane got herself a cute Italian guy. She promised to email me photos. One of the first things she asked me is whether or not I’m seeing someone. She always does this every time we meet/talk when she should know the answer in the first place. Boo hoo! *kidding* God how I wish I was in Moscow to see the look on her face when I said "no, I’m still single, as always." She was like "oh my god I’m gonna hook you up with
b) I’m jealous because the guy moved to Moscow, which is one of my most favourite cities in the planet and IMO, one of the best places on planet earth.
c) I’m jealous because NOW I WANNA MOVE THERE TOO!!!! Well, ok. I know I’ve been quiet recently but I’m in this weird phase right now where I’m thinking of relocating. Cities I have in mind: New York, Paris, Stockholm, Singapore or Melbourne. And now Moscow. Why haven’t I thought about it before? As if it will happen anyway. Like what I said many, many times, all I do is make all these big grand plans nothing ever happens. *sigh* I really need to be proactive on my shit. More on that later.
Aren’t these phone calls heart-warming and nice? How often do you reach out to an old friend that you haven’t spoken to in ages, halfway across the world? Maybe I should do that often. You know, get my little black book and start calling people from the past just to say hi, what are you up to. I used to do that lots when I was much, much younger because these are the people who already knew me before this whole "Bryanboy" insanity began. What do you think? It’s gonna be odd though. Remember that time when one of my ex-boyfriends from Nueva York emailed me a few weeks ago? Well, I still haven’t replied to that. Same with one of my former friends back in high school. She emailed like earlier last year and I still haven’t sent her a note. It’s just odd though and I really don’t know what to say — or maybe it’s the fact that I really don’t know where to begin.
I’m glad Jane called and that’s that. We’ll definitely have to see each other one of these days.
OH AND JANE, I’M NOT SURE IF YOU’RE READING THIS POST BUT MY EMAIL ADDRESS IS BRYANBOY@GMAIL.COM . I HOPE YOU WROTE IT DOWN PROPERLY. I SEARCHED MY OLD EMAILS AND YOUR DOKOMO.RU EMAIL ADDY ISN’T WORKING!!!!
Got your email betch! I’m soo jealous. You’ve got a hottie on your hands!!!
#3 – I found a little video of John Galliano’s Haute Couture collection for Christian Dior. It’s not the FULL video (which, btw, is available on the Dior website) but this one is a good representation whatevs. I loooove Shalom Harlow’s paper crane/origami dress. Sooo amazing eh? *sigh*
#4 – Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for sending me photos of your unconditional love and your poses. I’ll post a few now and I’ll post more later on a separate entry. As always, keep them coming — it’s a surefire way to brighten up my day! Email firstname.lastname@example.org.
#5 – Random Cheesemax on the net
- [here] Teenagers in Brazil made a little online fan club for me. How touching. Thanks Henrique!
- [here] I made it again on Google News! Apparently Kaonashi thinks I’m egotistical, annoying and conceited. I beg to differ. I’m nice and sweet!!!!! *weep*
- [here] I fucking love it!!!! Look at these Singaporean/Malaysian (?) teens work it like they own it, just like me!!!!
- [here] Oh. My. God. Bloody hell. I have no words!!! I made an appearance in their home town according to these Singaporean kids. I fucking love it — absolutely hilarious! It’s amazing the kind of influence I have on these adorable little creatures. I love each and every one of you. My mission is now complete. Sissyfication for the mother fucking win!!!!!!
- [here] I repeat… the world needs SERIOUS SISSYFICATION. I love you too, Deuce La Cock!
- [here] George Clooney and Pamela Anderson dating? What the hell is the world coming into?
- [here] Clay Aiken is REAAAAAALLLLLY fugly. Ugh. Nast-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
- [here] I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW HOW MUCH THE CHARITY PAID THE PROSTITUTE TO HAVE SEX WITH THIS MAN.
#6 – HAHAHAHAHA! I found this on another site. What do you think of her new ruby and diamond fender, bitches? Amazing, the sort of presents one can get if they copulate with Prince Charles. Check out her mammary glands, too. Newly-botoxed HRH Duchess of Cornwall is the epitome of "lookin’ good, feelin’ great"!
#7 – Because we love English people, here’s one for shits and giggles. I know some of you out there like 24 year old military guys. I want to test *YOUR* spot the faggot gaydar skills by telling me whether this guy is gay, straight or bisexual. I know the answer to this one cause I spoke to him the other day. He’s not my type though because he looks kinda rough — btw, this has nothing to do with the question.
#8 – I fucking hate children. I really do. Especially when they rub it in that you’re old.
#9 – My good ol’ Mexican buddy Mauricio is Nicole Richie’s pussy waxer.
#10 – I have a new favourite LA Boutique and they’re having a sale going on! Check out OOGA BOOGA: http://www.oogaboogastore.com. It’s like a smaller, LA-version of Paris boutique Colette except with lesser-known designers. Sooo soo cool. Soo soo lovely! Who knew Susan Cianciolo makes t-shirts?
My favourite items?
Strap jumper by Opening Ceremony (US$140) and Benten shoes by Keep (US$65). Both are on sale… and of course…
THE ULTIMATE BAG designed by Slow and Steady Wins the Race (US$300)
That’s right. That bag, my friends, is what happens when Balenciaga, Dior, Hermès and Chanel had one big orgy, pumped and dumped baby-making white creamy population paste/load inside one lucky bitch and knock her up with a love child. It’s downright dirty but I fucking LOOOOOVE it!
#11 – Stockholm Street Style moved to a new home! Update your links (I know I will) to:
Lookie lookie at what I found — this is what happens if Bag Lady was a man. I have to admit, even I don’t have a coat like that. I don’t really like the shape/style but the color is absolutely gorgeous and refreshing.
Only in sexy Stockholm betches, only in sexy Stockholm.
#12 – Words of wisdom from Australia. Ouch.
#13 – OMG OMG OMG. I love this bag, it’s soo chic! Milla foldover shoulder tote by Rafe New York. Comes in white, cognac and dark brown (US$475). Available at Rafe.com. It’s a gorgeous, gorgeous piece — I really like the white AND the cognac one. Shame it doesn’t come in black. Rafe, btw, is Filipino, and long-favoured by Hollywood celebs and New York socialites alike. Fierce!
#14 – I can’t believe what they did to this pretty young girl. She looked sooo nice when she was thin (with the potential to turn into Jacquetta Wheeler one day) and now she’ll morph into (yet another) another size 18 British woman who will wobble wobble all over the place. Read Bryony’s story and how she got sent to fat camp — literally — to save her life.
I think that’s all for now. I’m gonna do another dump later.
My sleeping habits are fucked up once again. It’s only 3:41AM and I’m already knackered, considering I spent the entire afternoon sleeping.
I’ll update in a bit. I wanna do a little SAG Awards review.
I love you all, as always! Email me and tell me you love me. My email address is email@example.com.
P.S. Happy birthday to Carmen from Malaysia who celebrated
sweet 16 21 a few days ago. I LOVE BANANAS! Especially Asian-sized bananas. They’re a nice alternative to cocks, especially on a dry spell.