Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Helsinki, Finland (alright, alright. I know many of you Swedes are gonna send me to hell for saying that but what can I say — I’m an equal opportunity lover… and that includes Finns, too.), Taipei, Taiwan, Whittier, CA, Madrid, Spain, San Diego, CA, Nicosia, Cyprus, Worcester, MA, Mansfield, UK, Rheinau, Germany, Quincy, MA, Lulea, Sweden, Cherry Hill, NJ, Djurholms Ekeby, Sweden, Livingston, NJ, Mission, BC Canada and of course, all my homies who live in Athens, Greece. Say hi mother fuckers, don’t be shy!

#2 – The angels at Radar Magazine in Nueva York loves me! Good god gracious… if they only knew how obese I am in real life. For god’s sake…I have stretch marks… AND CELLULITE… ON MY WRISTS OF ALL PLACES! SHIT, I’M CELLULITE PERSONIFIED!!! People of the world give me a few months and I promise you I’ll be size 0000infinity0. I’ll tell you more about my new diet later.

#3 – I’ve said this many times and I’m gonna say it again. Geography is no bounday when it comes to Bryanboy’s faggotry!

Well, well, well, what do we have here?

Ooooh Eunice in Singapore’s Sentosa Country Club…

Only Singaporeans (Siddiq, Nurain and Mima) have mastered the art of groupshots… hahaha!

OK, fine, Filipinos can do it too…

especially Flip families (Ann, Ice and Euan) can do it too. =) Sooo cute that little child. OOOOO I wanna have a little troll babyyyyyyyyyyyy of my own! YES!!!!

#4 – I HAVE A NEW FAVOURITE BLOG!

Those damn Swedes did it again. Is it just me or am I really Swedifying myself every day? It’s terrible. I’m telling you, it’s terrible! I need to flush this whatever thing out of my system… I don’t want to change my name to OLOF for god’s sake!!! There’s always something lovely coming out of the country that looks like a giant uncut penis. I love it! Look it up on the map. Svenska svenska sverige sven!

StyleSucker’s blog entries are entertaining and the pictures are absolutely HILARIOUS!

Visit StyleSucker today: http://stylesucker.blogg.se

#5 – Meet My Fine Papi. I thought I’d give this little attention whore his 5 minutes on my site after ignoring all his emails in the past year. *wink* His name is Marian; he promotes himself as Stavros though in some circles, he’s known as "Becks". He’s my little papi attention whore from Argentina and he says he’s "16". He’s a keen cyclist (as in real bicycles y’all) and he also loves techno music. He takes his passion for fashion a little too seriously and hopes one day he’ll break it into the fashion industry. His favourite hobby is trolling around fashion-related blogs, websites and various internet forums. Like most white boys in the first world, he’s obsessed with Dior Homme. In fact, he once claimed that he got invited to a DH casting call. Good for him! Well, we all have our own delusions — I like to delude myself into thinking that one day, Uncle Karl will call me on my mobile and make me his muse.

Anyway, he loves calling my 24-hour voicemail line to leave sweet messages while he’s smoking marijuana. The kids of today eh? I can’t believe people still smoke marijuana, my god. I thought that’s what 13 year olds do. Drugs are BAD for y’all… keep that in mind!!!!

So he left me 4 messages the other day — on three of them he identified himself as "Stavros" and on the last one he said his name is "Marian". This guy has sooo more identities than Leonardo Dicaprio on Catch Me if You Can!!!!

VOICEMAIL #1 ("Stavros")

++++fast forward 2 hours later and a couple of joints++++

VOICEMAIL #4 ("Marian")

***Take note of all the Spanish commotion going on. I love it. I fucking love it! It’s soooo telenovela chic! Can you say Maria? Maria la del Barrio??? Oh wait, Muneca Brava (I used to RELIGIOUSLY watch that shit with the maids back in the dark ages) cause they’re Argentinian. HAHAHA***

You and me bitch… I bet we’d make beautiful brown-haired babies even if my buddy Mauricio said you look like a mongo. What do you think?

010807_stav3 Isn’t it great knowing there are fetuses out there in the world, like in Buenos Aires, Argentina for example, who are obsessed with me? All the emails, the phone calls etc… god I feel special. Well, I love you too "Stavros". Or "Marian". Or. Becks. I know you’ve been emailing me since March of LAST YEAR and I haven’t really replied to any of them but I do hope I fulfilled one of your life-long dreams — to be on my site. We can worry about your other dream later, especially the one that involves your cock and my ass. Since you’re 6’1 tall, it doesn’t count as statury rape.

Oh and tell your little girl_friend that I love her more than you. It’s her job to find me a gorgeous, well-hung man with killer bone structure from Argentina. Hahaha!

Girls… pack your bags! We’re moving to Argentina and get ourselves some telenovela papi chulo!  I swear to god, there’s nothing like a good ol latino to take our minds off from temporary bouts of scandinavian eurotrash insanity.

====

Bryanboy: are there lots of good looking people in argentina?

Mauricio: ew

Bryanboy: what?

Mauricio: he looks like a mongoloid

Mauricio: please, he’s part of the ugly crop

Mauricio: my grandfather was from buenos aires

Mauricio: we have a house there still

Bryanboy: oooooooooooo

Mauricio: LOL

Mauricio: you’re deranged

Bryanboy: why?

Mauricio: stuff it, marimar

Bryanboy: hahahaha

Mauricio: muñeca brava

Mauricio: you are crazy

[5 minutes later]

Mauricio: i wanna ride on a white horse

Bryanboy: i wanna ride a cock

Mauricio: ew!

Bryanboy: with a nice big pink mushroom head

Bryanboy: a cock thicker than my wrist

Mauricio: white is shite, get it into your head

Bryanboy: well what should i ride? BROWN??????????????????

Bryanboy: BLATINOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?

Mauricio: blatino is hawt!!!!!!!!!!!

Mauricio: OMG

Mauricio: i’m cumming in waves

Mauricio: blatinoooooo porn!!!!!!

Bryanboy: ew!

Bryanboy: YOU are crazy!

====

#6 – Why on earth do they have people like this guy on Australian IDOL? This freak has been giving me nightmares for quite some time now. Ugh!! Pass me the sick bucket please. His name is Bobby Flynn and he’s one of the finalists. Fugliest son of a bitch. Ever. Don’t they have stylists down there? Someone give this boy a makeover, quick! Or are they poor down under? I have no words. Really. Silly Australians.

#7 – 6 MORE HOURS TO GO AND I STILL DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO WEAR AND I LOOK HORRID.

Uncle Karl please rescue moi. Everyone’s gonna be oh so beautiful, oh so ding-a-ling-a-ling-bling-bling (my dear friend is thinking of wearing Hussein Chalayan for god’s sake) oh soo everything … and then there’s the pauper misfit. Me!

*sigh*

Email me and tell me you love me. My email address is bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63.915.785.1492.