This is sooo wrong.

Here’s one for the camera. Trust me, it was the other way around when it came to the bedroom. Hahaha! Ever been fucked by an anorexic midget with a cock wayyyy bigger than yours? That’s the story of my life. I’m kidding.

—–

Mauricio: Is your friend still with you? There’s too much estrogen when you get together.

Me: I need a REAL man. Or someone who is at least 6ft.

Mauricio: with REAL money

Me: and have some sort of body hair. Just a teeny tiny bit.

Me: a dominant masculine man. that’s what i need.

Mauricio: Dodi Al Fayed.

*blink*