Nan Kempner's Closet says "Hello!"

Written By bryanboy

Nan Kempner’s Closet says "Hello!"

NYC socialite extraordinaire Nan Kempner is the height of chic.

I love her. I really do. I still haven’t recovered from her death. She’s one of the world’s most fabulous women. NO OTHER RICH BITCH CAN DELIVER MORE THAN HER! It’s one thing to be wealthy and excessive… it’s another thing to be ABSOLUTELY CHIC. She totally embodied perfection: a fabulous rail-thin body, first-hand access to all the world’s finest couture and lastly, a heart made out of gold. She made herself useful to society by raising hundreds of millions of dollars for charity.

Get ready to masturbate you fucking five dollar whores!!! I jacked off soo many times looking at these photos — THEY ARE WAYYYY BETTER THAN INTERRACIAL GANGBANG QUADRUPLE-ANAL CREAMPIE PORN!!!!!!!

Strangely enough, her spaghetti parties in Nueva York used to be one of the hottest invites in the world. I’ve always wanted to be just like her when I get old (no, not the socialite part haha). Nan is the only person out there who is capable of making a portable oxygen tank the chicest accessory EVAR. Bitch smoked like a chimney and shopped like no tomorrow till the day she died.

All those jackets! I betcha my size four ass a lot of them are haute couture!

"For 40 years, legendary clotheshorse Nan Kempner never missed a couture season. Which is why her closet was filled with 362 sweaters, 354 perfectly tailored jackets, 106 tiny bikinis and the odd pair of cords from Bloomingdale’s boy’s department. One rabid collector’s life in clothes."

I bet you there’s probably more — dresses, ballgowns, skirts, jeans, jewelry, belts, trousers, shorts, handbags, sunglasses, scarves blah blah blah!!!

Jesus mother of god. Her sweater collection is to die for! I’m sure she has a sweater in every color, every shade and every fabric possible.

The shoes… oh yes the shoes! Ok… perhaps my homegirl Mrs. Imelda Romualdez Marcos got the lead on this one… but still.

Here’s my favourite photo of them all. Just look at all those accessories! Gawwwd. I wonder if there’s a way to get a high-resolution verson of that photo… I wanna supersize the thing, turn it into a huge poster, get it framed and hang it on the wall!!! Stones, stones, lots of precious and semi-precious stones! Pearls, beads, corals, gems… you name it… orgasmic delight!!!! God I wanna cry!!!! This photo literally made me cream my pants!

Look at the Verdura cuff bracelets if you know what I’m talking about. Gorgeous eh?


Absolutely breathtaking eh?

Remember kids: it’s FREE and it’s FUN to daydream! Just because we’re poor paupers it doesn’t mean we can’t imagine ourselves what we’d be like in the shoes of the "haves"! Here’s how I look at it: everything begins in a fantasy and it’s up to us to turn our fantasies into reality… as long as we don’t hurt others in the process! =)

All photos courtesy of New York magazine.

Thanks, Thomas, for sharing these photos! You’re a doll!! =)

Email me and tell me you love me… and Nan Kempner, too! My email address is You may also send text messages to +63.915.785.1492.

I love you all, as always.


  1. What a gorgeous collection of gems… if that’s a Dec 11 copy of NY Mag I will get a copy and track down the photo. I want a poster too! Seriously.

  2. this is what many, many, many dreams are made of. her closet is bigger than life. she must’ve been some woman. FAB. Abosolutely fab.
    i love the idea of getting that pic of precious, precious excessories framed.

  3. martiniano

    hey, you might want to catch the Nan Kempner retropective at the Costume Institute at the Met. you’ll drool over the YSLs and Valentinos.

  4. martiniano

    hey, you might want to catch the Nan Kempner retropective at the Costume Institute at the Met. you’ll drool over the YSLs and Valentinos.

  5. I have a copy of the New York Magazine where those pictures came from. What’s your address and I’ll send you the copy.

  6. Hi Bryanboy
    I will check her collection at the costume institute at the met on tuesday, am just waiting for my friend from San fran. to come over. Can’t wait to see it… Happy new Year Bryan.

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