Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax: Rodents at Salvatore Ferragamo, Faux Fendi Spy Bag

Written By bryanboy

Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

#1 – Before we go to Salvatore Ferragamo’s rodent infestation, I’d like to give a big shout out to the people at Channel News Asia (Singapore’s National Broadcaster). Current Affairs Presenter Ms. Lin Xueling recently interviewed me (via webcam) for their talkshow called Blogtv.sg. (BIG SHOUT OUT TO ALL MY MINIONS IN SINGAPORE!!!!).

Courtesy of: Blogtv.sg

I just watched the interview online and man, I look soooo mean and rude!!! Damn webcam and all. Forget the way I talk — I look soo downright mean and evil!!!! I swear to god… I’m not usually look that mean. HAHAHA! And my nose… my god damn nose… it’s massive!!!! I betcha my nose looked larger than my face on TfuckingV!!! Ugh! I really need a nose job but I’m too scared to do shit.

Anyhoo… I always cringe with horror every time I appear on TV/interviews etc and I try NOT to watch them because I know I’ll NEVER BE ABLE TO SPEAK ELOQUENTLY OR EXPRESS MYSELF FLAWLESSLY in front of the cam. I say a shitload of unnecessary bollocks/gibberish/fluff and I stutter. Good thing I didn’t pull the usual "cheers, thanks a lot" crap I usually do. But yeah… I think I should do these interviews often… afterall, practice makes perfect. I hope one day I’ll be able to speak in a fabulous manner. 

Help me keep the faggotry flame alive! If you are a member of the press and would like to interview me, give me a shout!! I wanna be a meeeeeedja whore!!! I WANNA BE WEALTHY AND FAMOUS! I really do! I don’t care whether it’s TV, radio, newspaper, magazine, hell, I’ll even do company newsletters in Topeka, Kansas or bumfuck, Norway… as long as you spread the word about my faggotry! Hahaha! Shoot me an email: bryanboy@gmail.com and cc bryan@bryanboy.com today or SMS +63.915.785.1492!

#2 – Calling the attention of the people at Salvatore Ferragamo boutique in Manila.

Thank god for high-resolution cameras. My friends and I did a little night stroll around one of the luxury shopping areas here in the third world and I found this disgusting rodent on the shop window. Is that rat for sale as well? I can’t for the life of god remember which designer boutique it is but I’m 99.73% sure it’s Salavatore Ferragamo.

That thing… whatever it is… is ughhhhh absolutely revolting! Sweet jesus mother of god… do you know how many bazillion germs and bacteria those nasty rodents carry? Whatever happened to pest control? Luxury boutiques should be able to afford DECENT pest control considering the sky-high rent they pay on luxe shopping areas.

I guess it’s inevitable to have rodents crawling inside luxe boutiques, especially if you’re in the city, but come on… pest control is pest control. One visible rodent means one thousand hidden rodents roaming around somewhere…

Dora rat killer anyone?

HOW ON EARTH CAN YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT KNOWING A FUCKING RAT CRAWLED ON THE SHOE/BAG THAT YOU JUST BOUGHT FROM THE SHOP? THE NEXT TIME YOU GO SHOPPING, DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, TELL YOUR SA "OOOH I WANT TO TRY THAT THING ON THE WINDOW."

#3 – Malditang Maldita

I already know that the people at Fendi are reading my blog regularly, thanks to Sitemeter… eeek!!!!! and I don’t think they’re gonna like what I’m about to say…

Niklas and moi went to Mall of Asia (one of the biggest malls in the Philippines… I think it’s the largest… I’m not sure) earlier this week. I went to a shop called "MALDITA" — it’s a nice nifty shop/chain that sold affordable and cute clothes — in fact, their window display was nice that’s why I walked inside the boutique. Imagine how shocked I was to see this thing on sale…

It’s a cheap-ass replica of a Fendi Spy Bag with "Maldita" engraved/embossed on the bag! It’s available on sale for about P3,800 (not sure the exact price) about US$80.

Gawwwwwd. It’s a shame that the store sold designer bag replicas. I even saw a Mulberry Bayswater replica there. Some of the clothes are nice (not that t-shirt beside the bag though). I honestly don’t understand why a lot of Filipino mall stores buy designer replica bags from god knows where — China? Bangkok? HK? and sell them to supplement income. Why can’t they just hire local designers (or whatever) and ask them to design a handbag line exclusive to their shop? I know it’s not cheap and businesses are in it for the money but whatever.

Ok…

I hope the people who own the Maldita chain won’t be nasty to me in the event they read this.

You know the drill — words spread faster than the speed of light in this tiny town of 14 million people (and growing) and I really don’t want to make any more enemies. Heck, even my siblings hate me. Hahahaha! As if I could make any more of them when I know all the people in this shithole despise me with a passion. I don’t mind it at all though because when you think about it, there’s a bigger world out there to conquer.

Yes, I know my foul mouth always gets me into trouble but then again, I really don’t like bollocks. What should I do — keep my mouth shut about this Fendi replica? I somehow need to get this out of my system you know and this blog is well, my blog.

The only thing that makes me worried is the fact that I don’t want the super super few people who chose to stand by me get hurt as a result of my online verbal diarrhea. Case in point: one of my friend’s boss asked him flat out why he’s hanging out with me considering everything the boss heard about me is negative blah blah blah. *sigh*  My friend ended up giving his boss a good tongue lashing on how it’s none of their business to meddle with his *personal* affairs. I’m not even gonna say stuff anymore hahahha god forbid his boss is reading my blog. :-)

(see what I mean how i fucking don’t like blogging anymore? LOL)

Enough verbal diarrhea. I really don’t like how I jump from one topic to another… 

Soooooooooooooooooooo.

Remember last year when I wrote about the store in another mall that carried fake Chanel bags?

Well, it was akward ‘bumping’ into one of the owners of that store in the club. I swear to god, it was soooo weird! I got a shitload of flak, even death threats from people at that time and it’s no laughing matter. It’s a good thing one of the owner’s children is a good sport and they didn’t take it personally.

I just had a brain fart.

Why can’t y’all be like that shop called "Tyler" here in Manila? You know, I only bought two bags from them — one is a patent leather clutch (embossed croc) and a nice navy blue real snakeskin clutch. That was like ages ago. Those two bags are really really nice and they’re not "it-bag" replicas. Maybe some of the Filipino mall stores can take a cue from them? You won’t see them carry designer bag replicas. 

Maybe I should intern for Maldita? What do you think? I’ve always wanted to be a buyer hahaha.

Nah. I don’t want a job in fashion. It’s just not my thing. A lot of people ask me why I don’t have a job in fashion when most of the people I know/have known/etc. are all in fashion. Well… I think fashion is a bitch-eat-bitch/my milkshake-is-better-than-yours-damn-right-it’s-better-than-yours industry and frankly speaking, I’d rather be a nun.

Or a McDonald’s delivery driver.

I’ll leave it up to the fashion "experts" whoever they are. Believe it or not, it’s soo much nicer to be "out" because everyone wants to be "in" in the crazy, crazy world of "are you in or are you out".

Besides, I need my own space. One thing I’ve learned is that there is a bigger, better world out there than the teeny, tiny fashion closet.

Now… if Anna Wintour summoned me to be her intern (or Karl Lagerfeld wanted me to be his muse) then that’s a different story.

But hey… you don’t have the likes of Anna et Karl in the third world so cheers to you and my size four ass.

#4 – OH MY GOD. I can’t believe they still make payphones! I thought these things are a thing of the past/obsolete…. helloooooo everyone including their dog has a cellphone these days! I just had to take  a photo of this gorgeous thing. I want my own payphone!!!!

Email me and tell me you love me! My email address is bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63.915.785.1492.

I love you all as always!

18 Comments

  1. hi BB i hope you got the CNN email i sent you about perez hilton getting sued? that was on 12/19/06.

  2. You will hear from Salvatore anytime soon and they will thank you for your watchful eyes. They might even give u a shitload of freebes…..hhmmm Im thinking that u should send this photos to the main office of Salvatore (i dont know where the hell it is, maybe Milan,NYC or Paris….
    This kind of entry is funny and hilarious. The one similar like this last year is funny as well, not to think of all the death threats u got hahahaha…….

  3. BB I love the tan….What tanning lotion did u use and how much spf is that?? U need to maintain that tan the whole year coz i fucking hate it when i see u as pala as Kirstin Dunst..YUCK!!!! Being white is not hot as i used to think hahahahaha….
    Likas papaya or extraderm queen…..lolz

  4. Nina D' Lizard

    Merry Xmas BB!! Just want to tell you that I go to your blog every single day because you write interesting topics that keeps me informed, keeps me laughing, keeps me awake, and see that you are one of those bloggers that says honestly what he feels inside at that certain moment, and that is GREAT!!!
    I saw a CHEAP REPLICA too of that FENDI SPY BAG at CMG Glorietta, a white one, and it was disgusting. Are these stores (MALDITA and CMG) owned by one person??? Nakakahiya. Masisira sila ng ganito. Yes, why not make nice bags like other stores such as Mint,etc. Fendi should sue them since this design is proprietary don’t you think???
    Love you BB, and you talk so well on the blog interview (you should teach Tim Yap how to!! He talks baduy eh. Hahahaha!!!)

  5. omg, did they show it on tv? Geez, I must have been miss it! damn it!
    hahaha, Bryan,, ur damn sexy with that brown-ass skin!
    adore u!!

  6. Enlightenment

    I apologize that this is off-topic, however it is of paramount importance so please bear with me.
    One thing that struck me as odd in the days after 9/11 was Bush saying “We will not tolerate conspiracy theories [regarding 9/11]”. Sure enough there have been some wacky conspiracy theories surrounding the events of that day. The most far-fetched and patently ridiculous one that I’ve ever heard goes like this: Nineteen hijackers who claimed to be devout Muslims but yet were so un-Muslim as to be getting drunk all the time, doing cocaine and frequenting strip clubs decided to hijack four airliners and fly them into buildings in the northeastern U.S., the area of the country that is the most thick with fighter bases. After leaving a Koran on a barstool at a strip bar after getting shitfaced drunk on the night before, then writing a suicide note/inspirational letter that sounded like it was written by someone with next to no knowledge of Islam, they went to bed and got up the next morning hung over and carried out their devious plan. Nevermind the fact that of the four “pilots” among them there was not a one that could handle a Cessna or a Piper Cub let alone fly a jumbo jet, and the one assigned the most difficult task of all, Hani Hanjour, was so laughably incompetent that he was the worst fake “pilot” of the bunch, with someone who was there when he was attempting to fly a small airplane saying that Hanjour was so clumsy that he was unsure if he had driven a car before. Nevermind the fact that they received very rudimentary flight training at Pensacola Naval Air Station, making them more likely to have been C.I.A. assets than Islamic fundamentalist terrorists. So on to the airports after Mohammed Atta supposedly leaves two rental cars at two impossibly far-removed locations. So they hijack all four airliners and at this time passengers on United 93 start making a bunch of cell phone calls from 35,000 feet in the air to tell people what was going on. Nevermind the fact that cell phones wouldn’t work very well above 4,000 feet, and wouldn’t work at ALL above 8,000 feet. But the conspiracy theorists won’t let that fact get in the way of a good fantasy. That is one of the little things you “aren’t supposed to think about”. Nevermind that one of the callers called his mom and said his first and last name (“Hi mom, this is Mark Bingham”), more like he was reading from a list than calling his own mom. Anyway, when these airliners each deviated from their flight plan and didn’t respond to ground control, NORAD would any other time have followed standard operating procedure (and did NOT have to be told by F.A.A. that there were hijackings because they were watching the same events unfold on their own radar) which means fighter jets would be scrambled from the nearest base where they were available on standby within a few minutes, just like every other time when airliners stray off course. But of course on 9/11 this didn’t happen, not even close. Somehow these “hijackers” must have used magical powers to cause NORAD to stand down, as ridiculous as this sounds because total inaction from the most high-tech and professional Air Force in the world would be necessary to carry out their tasks. So on the most important day in its history the Air Force was totally worthless. Then they had to make one of the airliners look like a smaller plane, because unknown to them the Naudet brothers had a videocamera to capture the only known footage of the North Tower crash, and this footage shows something that doesn’t look like a jumbo jet, but didn’t have to bother with the South Tower jet disguising itself because that was the one we were “supposed to see”. Anyway, as for the Pentagon they had to have Hani Hanjour fly his airliner like it was a fighter plane, making a high G-force corkscrew turn that no real airliner can do, in making its descent to strike the Pentagon. But these “hijackers” wanted to make sure Rumsfeld survived so they went out of their way to hit the farthest point in the building from where Rumsfeld and the top brass are located. And this worked out rather well for the military personnel in the Pentagon, since the side that was hit was the part that was under renovation at the time with few military personnel present compared to construction workers. Still more fortuitous for the Pentagon, the side that was hit had just before 9/11 been structurally reinforced to prevent a large fire there from spreading elsewhere in the building. Awful nice of them to pick that part to hit, huh? Then the airliner vaporized itself into nothing but tiny unidentifiable pieces most no bigger than a fist, unlike the crash of a real airliner when you will be able to see at least some identifiable parts, like crumpled wings, broken tail section etc. Why, Hani Hanjour the terrible pilot flew that airliner so good that even though he hit the Pentagon on the ground floor the engines didn’t even drag the ground!! Imagine that!! Though the airliner vaporized itself on impact it only made a tiny 16 foot hole in the building. Amazing. Meanwhile, though the planes hitting the Twin Towers caused fires small enough for the firefighters to be heard on their radios saying “We just need 2 hoses and we can knock this fire down” attesting to the small size of it, somehow they must have used magical powers from beyond the grave to make this morph into a raging inferno capable of making the steel on all forty-seven main support columns (not to mention the over 100 smaller support columns) soften and buckle, then all fail at once. Hmmm. Then still more magic was used to make the building totally defy physics as well as common sense in having the uppermost floors pass through the remainder of the building as quickly, meaning as effortlessly, as falling through air, a feat that without magic could only be done with explosives. Then exactly 30 minutes later the North Tower collapses in precisely the same freefall physics-defying manner. Incredible. Not to mention the fact that both collapsed at a uniform rate too, not slowing down, which also defies physics because as the uppermost floors crash into and through each successive floor beneath them they would shed more and more energy each time, thus slowing itself down. Common sense tells you this is not possible without either the hijackers’ magical powers or explosives. To emphasize their telekinetic prowess, later in the day they made a third building, WTC # 7, collapse also at freefall rate though no plane or any major debris hit it. Amazing guys these magical hijackers. But we know it had to be “Muslim hijackers” the conspiracy theorist will tell you because (now don’t laugh) one of their passports was “found” a couple days later near Ground Zero, miraculously “surviving” the fire that we were told incinerated planes, passengers and black boxes, and also “survived” the collapse of the building it was in. When common sense tells you if that were true then they should start making buildings and airliners out of heavy paper and plastic so as to be “indestructable” like that magic passport. The hijackers even used their magical powers to bring at least seven of their number back to life, to appear at american embassies outraged at being blamed for 9/11!! BBC reported on that and it is still online. Nevertheless, they also used magical powers to make the american government look like it was covering something up in the aftermath of this, what with the hasty removal of the steel debris and having it driven to ports in trucks with GPS locators on them, to be shipped overseas to China and India to be melted down. When common sense again tells you that this is paradoxical in that if the steel was so unimportant that they didn’t bother saving some for analysis but so important as to require GPS locators on the trucks with one driver losing his job because he stopped to get lunch. Hmmmm. Further making themselves look guilty, the Bush administration steadfastly refused for over a year to allow a commission to investigate 9/11 to even be formed, only agreeing to it on the conditions that they get to dictate its scope, meaning it was based on the false pretense of the “official story” being true with no other alternatives allowed to be co
    nsidered, handpicked all its members making sure the ones picked had vested interests in the truth remaining buried, and with Bush and Cheney only “testifying” together, only for an hour, behind closed doors, with their attorneys present and with their “testimonies” not being recorded by tape or even written down in notes. Yes, this whole story smacks of the utmost idiocy and fantastic far-fetched lying, but it is amazingly enough what some people believe. Even now, five years later, the provably false fairy tale of the “nineteen hijackers” is heard repeated again and again, and is accepted without question by so many Americans. Which is itself a testament to the innate psychological cowardice of the American sheeple, i mean people, and their abject willingness to believe something, ANYTHING, no matter how ridiculous in order to avoid facing a scary uncomfortable truth. Time to wake up America.

  7. Enlightenment

    I apologize that this is off-topic, however it is of paramount importance so please bear with me.
    One thing that struck me as odd in the days after 9/11 was Bush saying “We will not tolerate conspiracy theories [regarding 9/11]”. Sure enough there have been some wacky conspiracy theories surrounding the events of that day. The most far-fetched and patently ridiculous one that I’ve ever heard goes like this: Nineteen hijackers who claimed to be devout Muslims but yet were so un-Muslim as to be getting drunk all the time, doing cocaine and frequenting strip clubs decided to hijack four airliners and fly them into buildings in the northeastern U.S., the area of the country that is the most thick with fighter bases. After leaving a Koran on a barstool at a strip bar after getting shitfaced drunk on the night before, then writing a suicide note/inspirational letter that sounded like it was written by someone with next to no knowledge of Islam, they went to bed and got up the next morning hung over and carried out their devious plan. Nevermind the fact that of the four “pilots” among them there was not a one that could handle a Cessna or a Piper Cub let alone fly a jumbo jet, and the one assigned the most difficult task of all, Hani Hanjour, was so laughably incompetent that he was the worst fake “pilot” of the bunch, with someone who was there when he was attempting to fly a small airplane saying that Hanjour was so clumsy that he was unsure if he had driven a car before. Nevermind the fact that they received very rudimentary flight training at Pensacola Naval Air Station, making them more likely to have been C.I.A. assets than Islamic fundamentalist terrorists. So on to the airports after Mohammed Atta supposedly leaves two rental cars at two impossibly far-removed locations. So they hijack all four airliners and at this time passengers on United 93 start making a bunch of cell phone calls from 35,000 feet in the air to tell people what was going on. Nevermind the fact that cell phones wouldn’t work very well above 4,000 feet, and wouldn’t work at ALL above 8,000 feet. But the conspiracy theorists won’t let that fact get in the way of a good fantasy. That is one of the little things you “aren’t supposed to think about”. Nevermind that one of the callers called his mom and said his first and last name (“Hi mom, this is Mark Bingham”), more like he was reading from a list than calling his own mom. Anyway, when these airliners each deviated from their flight plan and didn’t respond to ground control, NORAD would any other time have followed standard operating procedure (and did NOT have to be told by F.A.A. that there were hijackings because they were watching the same events unfold on their own radar) which means fighter jets would be scrambled from the nearest base where they were available on standby within a few minutes, just like every other time when airliners stray off course. But of course on 9/11 this didn’t happen, not even close. Somehow these “hijackers” must have used magical powers to cause NORAD to stand down, as ridiculous as this sounds because total inaction from the most high-tech and professional Air Force in the world would be necessary to carry out their tasks. So on the most important day in its history the Air Force was totally worthless. Then they had to make one of the airliners look like a smaller plane, because unknown to them the Naudet brothers had a videocamera to capture the only known footage of the North Tower crash, and this footage shows something that doesn’t look like a jumbo jet, but didn’t have to bother with the South Tower jet disguising itself because that was the one we were “supposed to see”. Anyway, as for the Pentagon they had to have Hani Hanjour fly his airliner like it was a fighter plane, making a high G-force corkscrew turn that no real airliner can do, in making its descent to strike the Pentagon. But these “hijackers” wanted to make sure Rumsfeld survived so they went out of their way to hit the farthest point in the building from where Rumsfeld and the top brass are located. And this worked out rather well for the military personnel in the Pentagon, since the side that was hit was the part that was under renovation at the time with few military personnel present compared to construction workers. Still more fortuitous for the Pentagon, the side that was hit had just before 9/11 been structurally reinforced to prevent a large fire there from spreading elsewhere in the building. Awful nice of them to pick that part to hit, huh? Then the airliner vaporized itself into nothing but tiny unidentifiable pieces most no bigger than a fist, unlike the crash of a real airliner when you will be able to see at least some identifiable parts, like crumpled wings, broken tail section etc. Why, Hani Hanjour the terrible pilot flew that airliner so good that even though he hit the Pentagon on the ground floor the engines didn’t even drag the ground!! Imagine that!! Though the airliner vaporized itself on impact it only made a tiny 16 foot hole in the building. Amazing. Meanwhile, though the planes hitting the Twin Towers caused fires small enough for the firefighters to be heard on their radios saying “We just need 2 hoses and we can knock this fire down” attesting to the small size of it, somehow they must have used magical powers from beyond the grave to make this morph into a raging inferno capable of making the steel on all forty-seven main support columns (not to mention the over 100 smaller support columns) soften and buckle, then all fail at once. Hmmm. Then still more magic was used to make the building totally defy physics as well as common sense in having the uppermost floors pass through the remainder of the building as quickly, meaning as effortlessly, as falling through air, a feat that without magic could only be done with explosives. Then exactly 30 minutes later the North Tower collapses in precisely the same freefall physics-defying manner. Incredible. Not to mention the fact that both collapsed at a uniform rate too, not slowing down, which also defies physics because as the uppermost floors crash into and through each successive floor beneath them they would shed more and more energy each time, thus slowing itself down. Common sense tells you this is not possible without either the hijackers’ magical powers or explosives. To emphasize their telekinetic prowess, later in the day they made a third building, WTC # 7, collapse also at freefall rate though no plane or any major debris hit it. Amazing guys these magical hijackers. But we know it had to be “Muslim hijackers” the conspiracy theorist will tell you because (now don’t laugh) one of their passports was “found” a couple days later near Ground Zero, miraculously “surviving” the fire that we were told incinerated planes, passengers and black boxes, and also “survived” the collapse of the building it was in. When common sense tells you if that were true then they should start making buildings and airliners out of heavy paper and plastic so as to be “indestructable” like that magic passport. The hijackers even used their magical powers to bring at least seven of their number back to life, to appear at american embassies outraged at being blamed for 9/11!! BBC reported on that and it is still online. Nevertheless, they also used magical powers to make the american government look like it was covering something up in the aftermath of this, what with the hasty removal of the steel debris and having it driven to ports in trucks with GPS locators on them, to be shipped overseas to China and India to be melted down. When common sense again tells you that this is paradoxical in that if the steel was so unimportant that they didn’t bother saving some for analysis but so important as to require GPS locators on the trucks with one driver losing his job because he stopped to get lunch. Hmmmm. Further making themselves look guilty, the Bush administration steadfastly refused for over a year to allow a commission to investigate 9/11 to even be formed, only agreeing to it on the conditions that they get to dictate its scope, meaning it was based on the false pretense of the “official story” being true with no other alternatives allowed to be co
    nsidered, handpicked all its members making sure the ones picked had vested interests in the truth remaining buried, and with Bush and Cheney only “testifying” together, only for an hour, behind closed doors, with their attorneys present and with their “testimonies” not being recorded by tape or even written down in notes. Yes, this whole story smacks of the utmost idiocy and fantastic far-fetched lying, but it is amazingly enough what some people believe. Even now, five years later, the provably false fairy tale of the “nineteen hijackers” is heard repeated again and again, and is accepted without question by so many Americans. Which is itself a testament to the innate psychological cowardice of the American sheeple, i mean people, and their abject willingness to believe something, ANYTHING, no matter how ridiculous in order to avoid facing a scary uncomfortable truth. Time to wake up America.

  8. Bryan, those fake fendi spy bags along with LV, Coach and Prada can be bought on the sidewalks of Fulton, Church and Rector Streets or just outside Century 21 in Lower Manhattan. The peddlers have a love hate relationship with the NYPDs, there are days that they get raided but most of the times they’re there and most of the customers who buy these bags are tourists… well my point is, they don’t sell these bags at(not that I’ve seen any)specialty boutiques(pang side-walk like ang beauty nya ano!) unlike in our lovely 3rd world country. Chau bella!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>