Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax

#1 – Before we go to Salvatore Ferragamo’s rodent infestation, I’d like to give a big shout out to the people at Channel News Asia (Singapore’s National Broadcaster). Current Affairs Presenter Ms. Lin Xueling recently interviewed me (via webcam) for their talkshow called Blogtv.sg. (BIG SHOUT OUT TO ALL MY MINIONS IN SINGAPORE!!!!).

Courtesy of: Blogtv.sg

I just watched the interview online and man, I look soooo mean and rude!!! Damn webcam and all. Forget the way I talk — I look soo downright mean and evil!!!! I swear to god… I’m not usually look that mean. HAHAHA! And my nose… my god damn nose… it’s massive!!!! I betcha my nose looked larger than my face on TfuckingV!!! Ugh! I really need a nose job but I’m too scared to do shit.

Anyhoo… I always cringe with horror every time I appear on TV/interviews etc and I try NOT to watch them because I know I’ll NEVER BE ABLE TO SPEAK ELOQUENTLY OR EXPRESS MYSELF FLAWLESSLY in front of the cam. I say a shitload of unnecessary bollocks/gibberish/fluff and I stutter. Good thing I didn’t pull the usual "cheers, thanks a lot" crap I usually do. But yeah… I think I should do these interviews often… afterall, practice makes perfect. I hope one day I’ll be able to speak in a fabulous manner. 

Help me keep the faggotry flame alive! If you are a member of the press and would like to interview me, give me a shout!! I wanna be a meeeeeedja whore!!! I WANNA BE WEALTHY AND FAMOUS! I really do! I don’t care whether it’s TV, radio, newspaper, magazine, hell, I’ll even do company newsletters in Topeka, Kansas or bumfuck, Norway… as long as you spread the word about my faggotry! Hahaha! Shoot me an email: bryanboy@gmail.com and cc bryan@bryanboy.com today or SMS +63.915.785.1492!

#2 – Calling the attention of the people at Salvatore Ferragamo boutique in Manila.

Thank god for high-resolution cameras. My friends and I did a little night stroll around one of the luxury shopping areas here in the third world and I found this disgusting rodent on the shop window. Is that rat for sale as well? I can’t for the life of god remember which designer boutique it is but I’m 99.73% sure it’s Salavatore Ferragamo.

That thing… whatever it is… is ughhhhh absolutely revolting! Sweet jesus mother of god… do you know how many bazillion germs and bacteria those nasty rodents carry? Whatever happened to pest control? Luxury boutiques should be able to afford DECENT pest control considering the sky-high rent they pay on luxe shopping areas.

I guess it’s inevitable to have rodents crawling inside luxe boutiques, especially if you’re in the city, but come on… pest control is pest control. One visible rodent means one thousand hidden rodents roaming around somewhere…

Dora rat killer anyone?

HOW ON EARTH CAN YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT KNOWING A FUCKING RAT CRAWLED ON THE SHOE/BAG THAT YOU JUST BOUGHT FROM THE SHOP? THE NEXT TIME YOU GO SHOPPING, DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, TELL YOUR SA "OOOH I WANT TO TRY THAT THING ON THE WINDOW."

#3 – Malditang Maldita

I already know that the people at Fendi are reading my blog regularly, thanks to Sitemeter… eeek!!!!! and I don’t think they’re gonna like what I’m about to say…

Niklas and moi went to Mall of Asia (one of the biggest malls in the Philippines… I think it’s the largest… I’m not sure) earlier this week. I went to a shop called "MALDITA" — it’s a nice nifty shop/chain that sold affordable and cute clothes — in fact, their window display was nice that’s why I walked inside the boutique. Imagine how shocked I was to see this thing on sale…

It’s a cheap-ass replica of a Fendi Spy Bag with "Maldita" engraved/embossed on the bag! It’s available on sale for about P3,800 (not sure the exact price) about US$80.

Gawwwwwd. It’s a shame that the store sold designer bag replicas. I even saw a Mulberry Bayswater replica there. Some of the clothes are nice (not that t-shirt beside the bag though). I honestly don’t understand why a lot of Filipino mall stores buy designer replica bags from god knows where — China? Bangkok? HK? and sell them to supplement income. Why can’t they just hire local designers (or whatever) and ask them to design a handbag line exclusive to their shop? I know it’s not cheap and businesses are in it for the money but whatever.

Ok…

I hope the people who own the Maldita chain won’t be nasty to me in the event they read this.

You know the drill — words spread faster than the speed of light in this tiny town of 14 million people (and growing) and I really don’t want to make any more enemies. Heck, even my siblings hate me. Hahahaha! As if I could make any more of them when I know all the people in this shithole despise me with a passion. I don’t mind it at all though because when you think about it, there’s a bigger world out there to conquer.

Yes, I know my foul mouth always gets me into trouble but then again, I really don’t like bollocks. What should I do — keep my mouth shut about this Fendi replica? I somehow need to get this out of my system you know and this blog is well, my blog.

The only thing that makes me worried is the fact that I don’t want the super super few people who chose to stand by me get hurt as a result of my online verbal diarrhea. Case in point: one of my friend’s boss asked him flat out why he’s hanging out with me considering everything the boss heard about me is negative blah blah blah. *sigh*  My friend ended up giving his boss a good tongue lashing on how it’s none of their business to meddle with his *personal* affairs. I’m not even gonna say stuff anymore hahahha god forbid his boss is reading my blog. :-)

(see what I mean how i fucking don’t like blogging anymore? LOL)

Enough verbal diarrhea. I really don’t like how I jump from one topic to another… 

Soooooooooooooooooooo.

Remember last year when I wrote about the store in another mall that carried fake Chanel bags?

Well, it was akward ‘bumping’ into one of the owners of that store in the club. I swear to god, it was soooo weird! I got a shitload of flak, even death threats from people at that time and it’s no laughing matter. It’s a good thing one of the owner’s children is a good sport and they didn’t take it personally.

I just had a brain fart.

Why can’t y’all be like that shop called "Tyler" here in Manila? You know, I only bought two bags from them — one is a patent leather clutch (embossed croc) and a nice navy blue real snakeskin clutch. That was like ages ago. Those two bags are really really nice and they’re not "it-bag" replicas. Maybe some of the Filipino mall stores can take a cue from them? You won’t see them carry designer bag replicas. 

Maybe I should intern for Maldita? What do you think? I’ve always wanted to be a buyer hahaha.

Nah. I don’t want a job in fashion. It’s just not my thing. A lot of people ask me why I don’t have a job in fashion when most of the people I know/have known/etc. are all in fashion. Well… I think fashion is a bitch-eat-bitch/my milkshake-is-better-than-yours-damn-right-it’s-better-than-yours industry and frankly speaking, I’d rather be a nun.

Or a McDonald’s delivery driver.

I’ll leave it up to the fashion "experts" whoever they are. Believe it or not, it’s soo much nicer to be "out" because everyone wants to be "in" in the crazy, crazy world of "are you in or are you out".

Besides, I need my own space. One thing I’ve learned is that there is a bigger, better world out there than the teeny, tiny fashion closet.

Now… if Anna Wintour summoned me to be her intern (or Karl Lagerfeld wanted me to be his muse) then that’s a different story.

But hey… you don’t have the likes of Anna et Karl in the third world so cheers to you and my size four ass.

#4 – OH MY GOD. I can’t believe they still make payphones! I thought these things are a thing of the past/obsolete…. helloooooo everyone including their dog has a cellphone these days! I just had to take  a photo of this gorgeous thing. I want my own payphone!!!!

Email me and tell me you love me! My email address is bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63.915.785.1492.

I love you all as always!