Brown in Boracay (Part 2)
Oh look at meeeee… I’m a muscle marrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyy! Those damned sweaty muscle mary faggots you see on clubs can finally kiss my brown ass! HAHAHAHA! Is this a sign of things to come?
Those aren’t muscles Bryanboy, they’re bingo wings!!
Should I go ahead and embrace the ‘larger’ side (i.e. renew my gym membership, pump some iron, inject my testicles with steroids and join the Yahoo Group for back acne sufferrers) or should I try harder being thin and continue deluding myself into thinking that I’ll be a size 00 one day? Whatever. I really should drop these ridiculous body issues/body dysmorphia nonsense and be happy with what I am now.
Like that’s gonna happen. Next!
The photo says it all. Yep.
Niklas and moi ate at Waling-Waling sooo many times (the food is reaallly good there) the waiters asked us whether we moved to their hotel or not…
I don’t even know how many times I askmyself (and wrote about it on this blog) the question ‘when was the last time you did something for the first time?’. Well, Niklas had a lot of ‘firsts’ on his holiday — he’s never had watermelon juice/shake before… same with oysters… can you imagine? I found it cute and amusing. LOL.
I got him to try coconut juice. He didn’t really like it. I think it has to do something with coconut flesh and how it looks like someone’s thick, warm, white population paste. Sperm, anyone? HAHAHAHA!
I also told him about Brits and fish n’ chips.
I also had a ‘first’ of my own.
You see, I can’t even count how many times I’ve been to Boracay… and every time I go there, I always found myself coccoon with other people — family, friends, random strangers etc. and I usually end up doing what they’re doing. I never really had quality ‘time’ to enjoy all the silly little things the island had to offer.
Niklas and moi did one of those (in his term) ‘classic walks’ from one end of the island to the other and we found this little road/rock/mini-cliff whatever the fuck you call it on one side of the mountain. It must have been at least 3 or 4 meters high. I don’t know how high it is exactly but I think it’s high enough. LOL!!
I told him lots of stories about my life the night before, how I try to live for the moment and almost everything I do aren’t planned. You know what I mean — it’s fun to be spontaneous and just DO things. When I found that mini-cliff, I told him that I’m gonna strip my clothes off and jump.
We jumped off that thing a few times and I even took a video. From now on, that place is going to be **MY** special spot. It was fun! It was sooo scary but it was fun! The height didn’t bother me at all… ok, who the fucking hell am I kidding… I think I was more scared of the fact that I might smack my head on the rock or get myself scratched. I’ve always wanted to know what it’s like to jump off a bridge (or a cliff) in order to prep myself the day I commit suicide (HAHAHAHA let’s be real here — I already know my cause of death — either lung cancer, AIDS or suicide. I’m kidding!) and this little rock/road thing provided the best platform blah blah blah.
After an hour or two, we went back to the hotel, changed clothes and went straight to Aria for late afternoon cocktails. Nothing beats a good ol’ cosmopolitan whilst watching the sunset. We joined all these people we met from the night before — some gorgeous, gorgeous Belgian guy and his male florist friend, two Romanian girls (one of which is the scariest bull dyke I have ever seen in my entire life but she was lovely), this skinhead French guy and some other people blah blah blah.
I like this candid photo.
Another sunset photo…
Niklas thinks I always pout in front of the camera… I told him I don’t pout — it’s just that my lips are soo hideously large!!!!! I HATE IT!!!! I swear to god, when I get lots of $$$$$ one day I’ll go to the docs and get a lip reduction.
Later that night, we ate at a greek restaurant called "CYMA". The food there is lovely. I had lamb chops and the potatoes are divine!!!
I swear to god… all we did was eat, eat, eat. I don’t know what Niklas’ secret is to be thin but I have a feeling he’s hiv+ and he’s got wasting disease. I mean come on, that fucker eats like a horse and he’s rail thin!
OK… PERHAPS NOT AS THIN AS ME BACK WHEN I DID AMPHETAMINES (AND EVERY CLASS-A DRUG FROM A to Z) WHEN I WAS A CHILD but whatever.
Have you had enough? I still have lots of photos to dump! The following morning was the same — more sea, sun and sand!
Here’s a few beach pictures for you to drool over…
I love the crystal clear waters…
Tan, tan, tan, TAN!!!!!!
I finally had enough so I moved my sunbed where I can get some shade.
It’s absolutely pointless tanning with caucasians. It’s HELL for brown ricers like me!!! I think it’s best to leave tanning right on the middle of the beach to Scandinavians. Hahaha!
We walked to one end of the island to have lunch at an acquaintance’s resort (Nami Private Villas)only to find them closed because of all the repairs they had to do after the storm. We found this nearby bar/cafe and we had home-made fries. We’re both hungry so we ordered the fastest thing on the menu.
As simple as they are, they’re surprisingly good! Not too keen on the dressing/sauce though.
Aren’t these photos lovely? Sooo soo beautiful! I like the juxtaposition of the Christmas lantern and the island whatever backdrop.
Gayz on holidayzzzz
Another day, another beautiful sunset.
Niklas found some Korean tourists jumping in front of the camera so we ended up doing the same.
Scandinavians have the northern lights during winter but nothing beats year-round third world sunsets. Look at the colours on the sky!!!!!!!!!! I like taking sunset photos!
Dinner at Aria
Dontcha love it?
Get off your fat ass and visit Boracay, Philippines!!!! Give me a call and tag me along — I don’t mind joining as long as you’re paying. Hahahaha! *kidding*
Last installment coming up next. I’m already starting to get sick of cropping Boracay-related photos. It’s sooo depressing!!!! And to think, I was just there 4 or 5 days ago! Oh well.
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