Brown in Boracay
I’m back. This time it’s for real. For the first time in two weeks, I can finally give y’all some tender loving care and undivided attention. Niklas just left the third world and at this point, all roads lead to the familia de horreur’s birdcage which leaves me no choice but to go back to the boring and mundane. I know I promised to post lots of holiday photos a few days back but I’d rather be the perfect hostess to Niklas and spend quality time together — god knows when we’ll see each other again. With that being said, let’s play another round of pictionary.
I’m gonna start where I previously left off.
So yeah… this huge storm hit Boracay for a few hours last last Sunday leaving all sorts of damage. Thank god we’re safe. We spent half the time in our room playing cards. Niklas taught me three card games — poker (yep, I’m a certified fan now!!!), a game called "turnaround ten" and another game called "500". We don’t know the English name for the games but he told me turnaround ten and 500 are some of the common games they play in Sweden. Whatevs. The only card game I know is solitaire… well, that and "bluff" aka "bullshit" — the same game Matthew McConaughey (sp?) played with his family in that film with Kate Hudson in it.
We roamed around the area and thought it was best to stay in the hotel to sleep and have lots of mind-blowing sex….
And get my brown bowels covered in Scandinavian cum.
I’m kidding. HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Monday arrived and everything went back to normal. It was soo hot and sunny!
We didn’t have anything to do so we rented one of those fishermen boats for a few hours.
We visited some of the tiny islands surrounding Boracay where we picked lots of shells and found several dead starfish…
We went snorkelling — I had to wear this crappy lifesaver cause I don’t know how to swim!!!
It’s funny cause I am a certified PADI scuba diver (yep, I have the card to prove it you fucking assholes… besides, scuba diving doesn’t require swimming — the oxygen tank is YOUR lifesaver!!!) in spite of the fact that I still can’t swim to save my life!!!!!
We even went to several areas of Boracay where there’s not a lot of people… I love being naked on the beach and underwater!!!! It’s really nice to feel the current on your scrotum.
We stayed on Puka Beach for an hour or two to swim and catch up on our tans. I love this part of the island. There’s not a lot of people here. When I was much, much younger, I used to go here to indulge on magic mushrooms and go on a full-on hallucination escapade.
Niklas is sooo fucking gay he even did that Survivor whatever thing. Gawd. Even I
can’t don’t do that shit.
I’m happy posing like this. Hahahaha!
His H&M beach towel looks soo much better than my Chanel. Loves it.
Everything was just beautiful… perfection!
A little sunset photo for y’all…
I’ll create a Part 2 in a bit. I’m starving!
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I love you all!