Freeloaders Galore

The answer is NO! I’m *NOT* going to charge a fee for you to read my blog. Not now, not tomorrow and definitely not in near future. No, no, no, never, ever, ever, ever, ever, infinity, ever. *

And no, I am *NOT* going to put a password for you to read my entries on Bryanboy.com either. I really don’t understand where that came from – I received 161 emails (PLUS all the comments on my blog) from people telling me not to charge a fee.

* except for my members-only area

I guess some of you didn’t read (carefully, if I may say) what I wrote. This is why I love each and every one of you… and humanity in general. Everyone’s got their own interpretation of whatever it is that I said. Some people get it, some people don’t. Don’t you just looooove how human minds work?

Anyway, let me elaborate on what I said earlier.

What I’m gonna do is create a "members-only" area on my site. This is where I’ll provide additional content to my readers like hardcore pornography, pictures of my cock, pictures of me sucking cock, pictures of me sucking my own cock, uncensored entries of me taking the piss at people, companies, family members or whatever, lots of pictures, pictures, pictures and stories, videos, audio, and whatever it is that I feel like sharing but only to a limited number of people, like friends and/or people who shower me with money, money, money and honey. Members will also know whatever it is I’m cooking before the rest of the world does.

The option is yours whether you want to purchase a membership or not. Freeloaders like yourself won’t have access to that "members-only" area unless I like you. You can purchase a membership if you want but I still have the final decision whether I should let you in. If you do not want to purchase a membership, you’ll only be restricted to my "main" area, which is whatever it is that you can see on my website now.

I even thought of password-protecting my photo albums and archives but fuck it, it’s too complicated to do so.

Why am I doing this?

It’s gonna take forever for me to list all 1,004 reasons why but here’s a shorter version.

Blogging used to be soo much fun when you can just say whatever it is that you want to say. Raw, unedited, uncensored and uncut. Treasure Island Media, just the way we like it. I’m kidding. This guy said it best. "The essence of blogging is authenticity. In your blog, you are essentially sharing what is in your head, your feelings and opinions, with others out there."

But when you’ve got everyone (and I mean everyone) from prostitutes in Laramie, Wyoming to housewives in Glebe, New South Wales reading your little corner of the internet, you have no choice but to clean up your act one way or another.

I confess — I am increasingly finding myself censoring myself more and more over the past few months. Gone are the days when I’d identify all the ornaments my christmas-tree like body is wearing. Wanna know why? To sum it up, it’s not funny getting scary text messages like "Are you Bryanboy? I just saw you left XXX restaurant and you’re wearing ___. Be careful because I’m watching you". Like hell I have something to offer to these people. Little they know the manola I get from blogging goes straight to spending, leaving me with virtually no savings whatsoever. What would they possibly want as ransom? My freshly revirginized ass? Please. Wanna know why I don’t ‘play around’ with people anymore? Well, it’s not funny being personally confronted by someone (you apparently ‘know’ but didn’t recognize online) who took everything soo seriously in spite of the fact that blog entry was made as a result of me being clueless (and completely innocent) on who they are. I’m sorry I don’t keep track of everyone on friggin TV and I’m sorry if I suck when it comes to identifying people’s pictures. What do I know? That experience alone changed the way I blogged forever and frankly, it totally freaked me out.

There used to be a time when it’s just oh-so-easy (and fun) to scan random pages from magazines and say "OMG WHO IS THIS GUY HE IS SOO CUTE"  or "WHO IS THIS FAT BITCH" and get away with it because some people, are born a natural sport. These days however, it’s like I have this veil of paranoia wherever I go thinking "did someone took whatever it is I said online a little too seriously" or "did I offend someone realllllllly bad the might actually do omfg-where-do-i-get-200-steroid-using-bodyguards to protect me?".

I don’t know how some of the world’s top bloggers do it…. Everyone from Trent (Pinkisthenewblog), to Michael K (Dlisted), the folks at Gawker, heck, even Perez the Pretzel have fun in their blog. I mean, if these bloggers post pictures of someone’s vagina one day and get photographed together at a party the next, one can only assume they both don’t take each other seriously and they’re just, you know, ‘friends’. I dunno.

WHY CAN’T I PLAY AN ONLINE VERSION OF THE GOOD OL’ "who on this page will you sleep with" MAGAZINE GAME WE USE TO PLAY WHEN WE WERE YOUNGER? ugh.

Entertainment bloggers aside, there are some bloggers who are simply fearless. They know who they are. Especially those political bloggers or whatever. Sadly, I’m not really "fearless". I hate confrontation. I hate arguments. I hate fights. I hate making enemies. Our time in the world is too short to fucking dwell on drama. Drama is good from time to time because it adds colour to the world but dragging drama and living your life in it is just icky. I’m wayyy too young to get wrinkles. Whenever my siblings piss me off, I’ll vent for a bit before letting them have their way instead of dragging our fight to the supreme court.

Believe it or not, I actually feel guilty whenever people "praise" me for "saying whatever it is on my head" and how they wish they "could be just like me for saying blah blah blah". Trust me, I’d be a billionaire if I got a CENT every time I get emails from readers telling me that… and I’d be in massive debt if only they knew the truth on how there’s a lot of other things on my mind that I’m not saying to them.

With all of that being said, you’re probably wondering how I expect *YOU* to react.

Here’s how I look at it and I’m gonna organize them into 2 camps: the "BE A RESPONSIBLE BLOGGER" camp and the "FUCK THE HATERS" camp.

Fuck The Haters

  • It’s your blog and you have the right to say whatever it is you want to say.
  • People read your blog because they like you for being "you" (how I wish that’s the case but I know for a fact that people don’t really like me. what they like is their own "idea of me"… if you know what I mean.)
  • People shouldn’t read your blog if they don’t like what they see on it.
  • You shouldn’t care what other people think. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and no amount of yakking can change it.
  • You can’t please everyone so take negativity in stride

Be a Responsible Blogger

  • Freedom of speech has its consequences
  • Because you are increasingly becoming popular (and influential) *god, am I full of myself or what? HAHAHA*, you have to be extremely meticulous on what you say.
  • Being responsible involves self-censorship.
  • Censorship usually involves withholding information for the benefit of the majority.

Blah blah blah yaddi yaddi yadda.

Do I really want to tell the entire world how one of my ex-boyfriends is the most amazing guy in the world and in spite of breaking up several years ago, I still miss him soo much? YES! Do I really want my ex-boyfriend to READ THAT I TOLD THE ENTIRE WORLD (via my blog) that he’s the most amazing guy in the world and in spite of breaking up several years ago, I still miss him so much but I cannot tell him upfront because a lot of shit happened between us… oh… and… I also feel absolutely terrible for breaking up with him and he was right when he said years and years ago that I will never find anyone who will love me the way he loved me? HELL NO! Why? Cause it’s fucking weird.

Well… too late Kween Bryan. He fucking knows now cause he’s reading your blog. How are you gonna deal with it when he calls/texts/emails you in the next few days? How are you gonna deal with it if he doesn’t call/texts/email?

[Note to _ _ _... will you please pretend you didn't read this? Please? I'm begging.]

This is EXACTLY the dilemma I’m facing right now. There’s soo many things I want to say but I can’t say it anymore because I know for a fact he’s reading my blog right now.

I brought this subject up to one of my friends the other day and he told me to just blog anonymously (change names, places, faces, whatever) or start a new blog and do it anonymously. I told him I don’t want to do it because it’s pointless and ridiculous. I like my blog now because I *KNOW* I have an audience. I *KNOW* there are people who are listening to me whinge and rant. If I start a new blog, I know I won’t have an audience.

Blah blah blah yaddi yaddi yadda.

I think I’m going overboard here. As always. UGH! Don’t you just hate Bryanboy verbal diarrhea? Hahahaha!

Bottom-line is…

Like what I said, I’m thinking of keeping my Bryanboy.com blog – same escapades and same misadventures  though a little censored (actually, you probably won’t even notice because I’ve been censoring my entries for quite awhile. if you like what my blog is now then it will be the same) to protect the innocent (and the powerful)… and then I’ll have a little members-only uncensored area for everything else.

I really hope you’re all mature enough to see where I’m coming from.

I MISS HAVING FUN!

I MISS BEING CAREFREE!

I MISS NOT GIVING A SHIT TO WHAT PEOPLE THINK!

I WANT TO BE ABLE TO SAY THINGS LIKE…..

"I got the latest issue of fabulous ICON magazine (which is one of the top gay magazines in the third world, btw) and it’s their "Career Issue". There’s soooo many LOVELY PHOTOS inside the mag but why, pray tell, are there lots of men wearing nothing but underwear on the cover? "

*and*

"OH MY FUCKING GOD LOOK AT THOSE 2 CUTE GUYS ON THE MIDDLE THEY ARE SOO FUCKING HOT I WANT BOTH OF THEM TO FUCKING SPITROAST ME WITH ONE GUY FUCKING MY ASS AND THE OTHER FUCKING MY MOUTH. I WANT THEIR BABIES!!!"

without the fear of getting flak because

  • ICON Magazine featured me on that particular issue (thanks boys!!! HAPPY HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!) and they’re all very nice and WONDERFUL people. I don’t want to be called an ingrateful whore hahaha :-)
  • there’s a chance of me bumping to those 2 guys I mentioned cause Manila is such a small town and it’s gonna be soooooooooo weird if I *do* bump into them knowing THEY KNOW (or they’ve been told) what I just said above but deep down inside I’m not really SERIOUS ABOUT WANTING TO GET SPITROASTED AND I ONLY SAID THAT BECAUSE THEY’RE CUTE AND THAT’S ABOUT IT

Who knows how they’re gonna react? It won’t be long until they read whatever I said here but I bet you it’s gonna be sooooooooooooooooo weird if I bump into them. I’m sure they’re all gonna be fine and dandy (well I FUCKING HOPE SO HAHAHAHAHHAA) but you just never know.

I still love ICON magazine. Even Eunice loves it too. Bitch spent an entire day looking at the guys’ crotches hahaha!

*SIGH*

Now… if I have a members-only area then I don’t have to worry about things like that. See what I mean?

I know having a members-only area has disadvantages too, like, it’s not guaranteed people won’t share what I wrote there and stuff. but whatever.

What do I think?

I’d rather cross the bridge when I get there.

PICTIONARY DUMP

As promised, here’s the batch of photos from Friday. Had to run a shitload of errands… had to pay bills (UGH! DID YOU KNOW THAT IN SOME COUNTRIES LIKE THE UK, I’VE BEEN TOLD THAT NOBODY TAKES CHECKS ANYMORE CAUSE EVERYTHING IS AUTOMATICALLY DEBITED FROM THEIR CHECKING ACCOUNT OR SOMETHING) get my nails done. I also had to go to the doc to get a fresh xanax prescription (yep, i’m back to xanax my friends). *sigh*

Isn’t my life oh-so-very exciting? NOT!

I think I’m officially going through puberty right now. I need to learn a new pose (to look skinny) because my arms are getting morbidly obese. It used to be soo easy to look thin.. all you gotta do is find the right angle and bam wham bam! These days, it’s a pain having to take a SHITLOAD of photos just to get the look I want.

Take a look at these photos…

Attempt #1: bank

Attempt #2: bank

Attempt #3: Coffee Bean. LOOK AT MY DRINK…. AND LOOK AT MY BATWINGS! HAVE I TOLD YOU THAT I, LIKE NICOLE RICHIE, GOT A SECRET GASTRIC BYPASS SURGERY? Unfortunately, my doctor screwed me up really bad. You’d think gastric bypass is a simple operation — food goes in mouth and food comes out the arse. One assumes not a lot happens in between other than a pipe but in my case, FOOD DOESN’T COME OUT OF MY ASS…. IT GOES STRAIGHT TO MY ARMS…

… AND THIGHS!!!!!!!!!!!!

I GIVE UP. I have to admit my left arm on this photo looks thin. Bone thin. Which is what we all want, right?

But not quite poifect cause my right arm (the one with bangles) looks fat. See the excess flesh on the side?

Oh well. I give up.

Today’s Obligatory Paparazzi Shot(s)

I think that’s all for now. I’m gonna take a nap. I can’t believe I’m awake at 10 FUCKING AM on a FUCKING SUNDAY. I have LOTS of other things to tell you later.

Oh yes.

I’M THE HAPPIEST GIRL IN THE PLANET!!!! Here’s a teaser………..

CHA-CHING CHA CHING CHA CHING!!!!!

SING AFTER ME…. DREAMS… CAN COME TRUE! LOOK AT ME BABE I’M WITH YOU. YOU KNOW YOU GOTTA HAVE HOPE, YOU KNOW YOU GOT TO BE STRONGGGGG.

SHIT, I WAS 11 YEARS OLD WHEN THIS SONG CAME OUT HAHAHA

Email me and tell me you love me. My email address is bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63.915.785.1492.

I love you all! I really do!