Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax
#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Bern, Switzerland, Gifu, Japan, Vallentuna, Sweden, Espoo, Finland, Monterey Park, CA, Puteaux, France, Nedlands, WA Australia, Henderson, NV, Medford, NJ, Cambridge, MA, Bedford, NH, Commack, NY, Billancourt, France, Cincinnati, OH, Montevideo, Uruguay, Andover, MA and of course, people from Lisbon, Portugal. I love each and every one of you. Say hi mother fuckers, don’t be shy!
#2 – Now I know what it feels like to be chased by religious fanatics. It’s inevitable anyway and it’s bound to happen at one point. I’m just surprised why it took them soo long to do it when I represent everything against well, everything religious. I’ve been victimized by PETA, twice (ohhh I’ll never forget that day I got chased by a drunk PETA man when I went out of the old McQueen store in Conduit street wearing a Fendi vest and I had to hide at those red phone booths… the memories). So yeah… PETA? check. Bible bashers? check. It’s ridiculous. It really is.
After all that religious hoolabaloo I had to endure this week, I spent a few hours yesterday afternoon pampering my jolly old fat self. I had a full body massage, got a manicure and a pedicure, my usual glycopeel cleaning/extraction facial and power peel/microdermabrasion session.
The only thing I need to do in order for me I turn human again is get highlights and wax my ass crack.
#3 - I just knew, from the moment I saw her she was going to be a complete and utter deeeezzaaaahzzz…
Who the hell cares about the new Chanel boots? Remember the Chanel entry I wrote a few weeks ago? Well, my little Chanel jacket fantasy resurfaced once again. I was looking at an old V Magazine from last year while taking a shit earlier this afternoon and saw this photo.
I went online to do some little soulsearching and found this piece of beauty on eBay. It’s a white (with black) tweed knit jacket with sequins, fringes and ruffles. Size 40, which is an American size 8.
Photo credit: Ebay/balearic1
Isn’t it beautiful? Yeah, I know it’s wayyyyy too feminine (it’s the ribbon detail on the front) but I can totally picture myself wear that thing with a plain white or black tee (or maybe a tight, crisp white or black fitted button-down shirt with wide French cuffs + a little shiny brooch on the collar for effect), long strands of pearls, big, black sunglasses, some nice jeans and white driving shoes. It’s sooo fucking gorgeous!
Points to ponder:
a) What if the jacket is too large? The jacket I tried in Paris was a size 36. size 38 might be a tad too large. Also, the lady wrote the jacket can fit a size 10. What is a size 10 anyway? A fire truck? I may be the fattest bovine at the moment but clearly I’m not THAT obese. I made a pact with the devil that he can have my soul after I slit my wrists and my throat on the very first day I hit double-digit sizing.
b) The jacket doesn’t appear to have a lining so it might be a little itchy. Hello, tweed!
c) Ugh. There’s 9 bids already, the jacket is currently priced at US$676 and reserve isn’t met. God knows what the seller’s reserve price is. I hate these reserve auctions cause I don’t want to end up spending more than I should, which is something I can’t afford to do at the moment. I mean, if I’m gonna splurge, I might as well go for a brand new jacket, again, something I can’t do at this time cause I’m soo fucking poor. I think my wallet can shell out US$2,000 max. For now at least. Hmm… do you think the lady will tell me what her reserve if I email her? I don’t know what the retail price of this jacket but it looks somewhere in the US$4,000 range. I could be wrong though. UUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHH this is fucking killing me!
d) The jacket is white and there’s a lot of detail going on. I don’t think I can get some mileage with this jacket unlike dark-coloured jackets which tend to be more timeless.
Auction ends in 9 days so I guess I have ample time to decide. Don’t you DARE bid on that thing assholes, unless, of course, you’re buying it for ME. HAHAHA
#4 - Here’s another thing I’ve been craving for: TAHO. I can’t even remember the last time I had it. It’s one of those snacks that you can only find in the third world. You eat it from a plastic cup and it’s made out of bean curd, some brown liquified sugar and pearl beads, whatever you call them. I know it looks gross but it’s the best thing on earth.
Photo credit: Tahoonline
Most people like to "mix" the thing until it looks like vomit (see above photo) but I like to eat mine WITHOUT "mixing" it. I eat the white shit first before the brown sugar and pearl beads… you know, save the best for last.
I used to eat a lot of this crap when I was a child. It’s the best thing on earth! Back in our old house, a man (like the one below) used to roam around the neighbourhood streets every weekend morning like clockwork.
Photo credit: Kibaka.org
You normally buy it in plastic cups but my siblings and buy them by the bowl! Yes!!! Every time we hear the taho man scream "tahooooooooooooooooooo", we’d be running outside the gate, empty soup bowls in tow, like malnourished, starving African children waiting for Unicef rations. We had the same taho man for the longest time and we would normally give the guy a glass of water or some snacks so that he’ll put a lot of the liquified brown sugar and pearl beads in our taho. Gotta love bribery and corruption. Hahaha!
I don’t even think there’s a restaurant or a place that serves taho because that shit is really dirt cheap. If you know of a place where I can get taho give me a shout.
#5 – Lookie lookie at what I found on my inbox this evening… Anette Schive from Norway sent me this lovely drawing. I’d do ANYTHING to be THAT thin!!!!! Look, I even have a collar bone on her artwork! Shit, my real collar bone vanished from the face of the planet, thanks to my obesity problem.
Anette, you’re a doll!!!
Dawn from Singapore sent me this cute little piece…
I love fan art! I really do. OK, fine, I love portraits and sign pics much, mucho better but fan art is ok, I guess. Afterall, beggars can’t be choosers. Hahaha.
Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
#6 – Here’s another photo from Nick in the UK for shits and giggles…
… this is what Scott from the Midlands (UK again) thinks about this whole Jesus insanity
… whereas Diveke from México sent in this photo.
#7 – Calling the attention of Jose Raymond Panaligan who works for the International Rice Research Institute.
a) Use your personal email address the next time you send rude emails.
b) For the life of god, please don’t do it on company time. CGIAR and IRRI are non-profit organizations and their donors aren’t paying you to email bastard faggots like myself at 2:21 in the afternoon.
c) Ano ka ba? Diyos ko day, magmumura ka na nga lang hindi mo pa magawa ng tama.
d) Are you related to super fantastic and fabulous photographer "Raymond Panaligan"? I hope not. Raymond Panaligan‘s work is lovely. In fact, some of his photos are turned into postcards or something.
Photo credit: Asian Cultural Council
If you are indeed Raymond Panaligan… well, at your age, you should learn by now that you could express how you really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really feel without telling me that my mom’s a fucking whore.
e) Last but not the least, I hate opening emails with nothing but a subject line. It’s like opening an empty gift box wrapped in fancy paper, luxurious ribbons and all.
#8 – Me love you long time Edd of Insidethegaygate.
#9 – More lovin’ lovin’ from people around the world… I love all your fat asses. I really do! Keep them coming! As always, you know where to send photos of your love – email email@example.com.
Big shout out to Suesan from the American Midwest. That sticker looks sooo familiar. *wink wink* I love you Sue!!!
Kudos to Angel from Long Beach, CA…
… Dawid from Poland. I loooove Polish people!!!! BTW, Poland is soo gonna be my new "Sweden". I heard there’s a lot of cute guys there. I mean, I’ve never really been to Eastern Europe to be honest (well, I’ve been to Riga, Latvia and Russia but that’s about it).
Last, but not the least, Nicole from my hometown, land of the brown, l’exotique and the natives!! Who is that bitch with the white tank top? Tell her to work ittttt! *wink wink*
I think that’s all for now. I have a shitload of work to do.
Email me and tell me you love me. I’ll be online for the next few hours. My email address is firstname.lastname@example.org or SMS +63.915.785.1492.
I love you all!
P.S. Big thanks to my angel, samsupernova.