Love is a game.. it drives me insane

Love is a game… it drives me insane. I feel no shame and won’t take no blame.

Before I begin with my usual spiel, let me tell you that my "111" (one pill, one fruit cup and one glass of milk a day) diet didn’t work for me. It was terrible. It fucked my head up completely. I spent the entire time popping sleeping pills because I got dizzy all the time from the lack of food. That’s why I haven’t updated my blog recently. Well, that and the bollocking typhoon too.

ANYYYYYWAY, I have this new diet I’m trying where all I do is eat whatever it is I fancy eating and then 3-4 hours later, I walk the streets for 5-10 minutes then run, run, run like they do at the Olympics for 10-15 minutes or until I get really sweaty.

I did this for the past, gosh, 4 days now and it feels soo fucking good inside. Running is my new obsession du jour. I mean, really, all I need to do is get my fat ass away from the computer and run the streets ala catch me if you can.

Other than that, I’ve been reading a lot of books lately. I’m still waiting for my package from Amazon.com. Damn third world slow boat.

What can I say… I’m sucker for books written for prepubescent girls. We all know my mere 2 brain cells can only handle highly-questionable works of literature such as one of my favourite feel-good books ever, SPIN CONTROL, by Niki Burnham.

It’s a story of a 15 year old girl bumfuck American girl from god knows where Virginia who moved with her dad to some bumfuck European country named Schwerinborg. She eventually dated the Prince of Schwerinwhatevermotherfucker named Prince Georg but after the press hounded her, her dad thought it would be best for her to go back to her lesbian mother in VA to cool things off. She ended up dating her ultimate crush from school and then she realized she love the prince so she went back to bumfuck, Schwerinoconnor.

I don’t even know why I’m sharing with you my appalling taste in books but whatever. Hahaha!

I must have been extremely bored with life coz I spent some time perusing my dad’s books. I have no idea what possessed me to do it because it’s something I’ve never done before… it’s something I won’t normally do unless I’m on hardcore drugs. I’m glad I did though. It’s always nice to learn something new every day.

I found these super old books from the late 1970s called "The Great Cities", published by Time-Life.

I picked my favourite city in the world, Paris, France. It’s written by Rudolph Chelminski and Raghubir Singh took the photos.

Look at all the chic people at Deux Magots

Oooooh remember Champs-Elysees?

Yes… THAT Champs-Elysees!

The models back then were all plus size… I don’t think they hired beautiful creatures like Snejana or Natasha Poly back in the dark ages. Everyone had tits, hips and chubby cheeks.

"Le Tout Paris" socialite matronairs at the Longchamp racetrack… CHIC!

Parisian war veterans as varied as a group of minor characters from a Balzac novel…

Speaking of Paris, remember the scene from Sex and the City where Mr. Big told Carrie that people go there to fall in love? God, I’ll never forget that scene. I burst into tears every time I see it – proof that I’m such a loser and a sucker for all things mushy. I WANNA BE CARRIE FUCKIN BRADSHAW GOD FUCKIN DAMMIT! I WANT A NICE MAN (not Mr. Big himself cause I think he’s an old wrinkled mess) TO PUT HIS FUCKING COAT AROUND ME ON PONT DES ARTS WHEN IT’S COLD AND THEN I’LL FUCKING SAY SOMETHING SILLY LIKE "KISS ME BEFORE I CRY" followed by "LET’S MAKE BABIES!"

Fine. Whatever.

If people come to Paris to fall in love and Carrie went there to get slapped, I wanna go there to slut around… in good ol’ Patsy Stone on Pont Alexandre III style. Hahahaha!

Gabon? Is he from Gabon? Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, is he from Gabon?

Bah. Why oh why oh why do I always associate Paris with love? Ugh!

I need a mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!

I love this old track – Shakedown: Love Game. I can’t get this song off my head. In fact, I’ve had it on autoplay for HOURS!

ALEXANDER DOUBLE-BARRELED JOHNSON-ANDJOHNSON defender of the Bryanboy peace, my muse, my knight in shining Marc Jacobs armor, my mascot, and my one-way ticket to Ascot, we better start saving some serious dough!

We HAVE to go to Paris soon! I know it’s just a £30 Eurostar ride away from Londres!!!!! Fuck looking for love or being in love.

WE NEED TO FIND A MAN WHO WILL DROP MAJOR PLASTIC AT BOUCHERON OR JAR AT PLACE VENDOME AND BUY US FINE JOAILLERIE!!!

Failing that, we’re gonna get ourselves fat – imagine lunch at Brasserie Lipp and dinners at Voltaire!!!!!! We’re also gonna have petit dejeneur at Plaza Athenee, spend our afternoons chain smoking with beautiful Eurotrash people and drink lattes at Cafe de Flore, followed by aperitifs at Pershing Hall (I know, I know, I forgot to visit that place), Costes and the Ritz at night…

…and puke it all up over the bridge/Pont Neuf at the crack of dawn to make our MIA sisters proud!!

Bah! I’m not gonna plan anything for now. All my plans vanish into thin air faster than the speed of light every fucking time I tell the world about it. Whatever has to happen will happen. I’ll cross the bridge when we get there.

I just don’t want to be disappointed this time.

I love you all! Email bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63.915.785.1492 and tell me you love me.

Baboosh_3

PS. Discuss this blog post on my Online Discussion Forum.

PPSS. Big shout out to my fabulous gal Sue in Caaaaaaaaahhhleeeeefooooourrrrkneeeeyeaaahhh. I LOVE MOTORCYCLE RACERS!!!!! The last time I rode a motorcycle was around 5 years ago in London, England. My photographer friend, JP, gave me a ride on his bike. He picked me up from my hotel and we went all over the place around Hyde Park to his house. I literally had the ride of my life! Damn the memories… hahaha! It just occured to me that I rode his bike thrice — there was this time when we went to Soho for lunch and I wore my McQueen jacket, Tod’s bag, Luella Bartley neon ribbons and beads belt and my polka dot glitter bleached denim jeans. I was Edina Monsoon at such young age… I was 12!!!! It was crazy!!! I was crazy! I’m STILL CRAZY!! LOL.

More photos at http://ilovebryanboy.blogspot.com. Baboosh!

PPPSSS. Jakob, can’t wait! Like you said, it’s gonna be special — noodles and beer! :)