FLETCHER I FUCKING HATE YOU!

Speaking of ghosts from my past….

WE’VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR SEVEN FUCKING YEARS YA FUCKIN SCOUSE. HOW CAN YOU KEEP THINGS FROM ME????

WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YOU AND HEDI SLIMANE (YES, THAT HEDI SLIMANE) ARE CLOSE FRIENDS AND HE’S ONE OF YOUR CLUB’S RESIDENT DJs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FOR OUR FRIENDSHIP’S SAKE HOW CAN YOU KEEP THIS SECRET FROM ME? I’M SOOO DISAPPOINTED. OK FINE. WHATEVER.

Is it because deep down you know I’m really a Galliano girl?

Ok.. maybe it’s because the opportunity never really came but still!!!!!!! You should’ve known better and you should’ve told me!

So you own/run/rule/DJ at Londontown’s best indie night… you know I’ve always wanted the best for you. I’m soo happy things are going well!

BITCH, REMEMBER AMANPULO? I HAD TO DIG UP SOME OF OUR OLD PHOTOS…

And remember the time we first met we had dinner at fucking 1AM at Balans and all the crazy times we had in London for like 2 years?

OH AND REMEMBER HOW WE MADE A PACT THAT WE’RE NOT GONNA TELL PEOPLE WE MET OFF THE PHONE CHAT LINE, INSTEAD, WE’RE GONNA TELL PEOPLE WE MET AT THE MET BAR? Hahahaha! Classic.

Hmmmm.. did you keep Hedi away from me because I got fucked by a fedex courier INSIDE his van OUTSIDE your ex-flat because you told me I couldn’t bring boys back to your flat? *wink*

I WANT A PHOTO OF HEDI HOLDING AN ‘I LOVE BRYANBOY’ SCRIBBLED ON A PIECE OF PAPER! THAT’S COMPENSATION FOR ALL THE PAIN AND SUFFERING I ENDURED OVER THE YEARS…

FINE… TELL HIM I LOVE HIM AND I WANT HIS BABIES! HAHAHA.

TELL HIM SOME UNKNOWN FROM THE THIRD WORLD REALLY LOVES HIM! YOU MANAGED TO PULL THIS OFF WITH CRAIG DAVID AND SUPER SISTERS I’M SURE YOU CAN DO IT WITH HEDI! I LOOOOVE HEDI!

I would seriously die if you manage to pull this stunt off. I’d love to get all the emo and faux-dior homme kids go all jealous and envious.

DAMMIT I FUCKIN hAVE MY KNICKERS IN A TWIST!!!!!!

You **BETTER** tell him to do that or else I’ll fly all the way to London and kick your ass.

I can’t believe my mangina is dripping with sweat thanks to this revelation. UGH!!! I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!

NOW THAT YOU’RE SUPER FAMOUS… AM I NOT SPECIAL TO YOU ANYMORE?

If you don’t do it I’m calling Gerrard. Yes, in Liverpool ya scouse. LOL. Hahhahaa! *kiddin*

Rebel Rebel – next party’s on November 4, 2006. 10PM – 3AM @ The Phoenix, 37 Cavendish Square, London, W1G OPP.

I’m gonna go write a letter to Tom Ford now because clearly you’re useless… hahaha! I’m gonna fedex it tomorrow.

YOU BETTER ANSWER YOUR PHONE I’M CALLING YOU NOW!!!!

P.S. I want my Gucci shirt back…

PPSS You know I love you really but I love Hedi Slimane more.