Chanel, Chanel, Chanel!

Written By bryanboy

Chanel, Chanel, Chanel!

I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD, I’m gonna open a new bank account sometime next week and name it the "Bryanboy Chanel Tweed Jacket Fund". I’ve been dreaming of having a brand new Chanel tweed jacket bought directly from Paris for the longest time… I repeat, **MY** OWN brand-new Chanel tweed jacket, not hand-me-downs deceased (or alive) family members/not-so-distant relatives or "vintage" jackets from consignment/thrift shops.

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(BTW, this isn’t the jacket that I want for myself but I think this one is gorgeous anyway)

Every time I go to a Chanel store, it doesn’t matter where, I go straight to accessories because I know I can’t afford their ready to wear. Well, not the special pieces anyway. I’m happy pissing myself looking at beautiful runway photos of clothes I could never afford online.


When I went to Rue Cambon last December, I roamed around the boutique as if it were the Louvre. The motherland is sooo massive you just have to keep coming back there EVERY DAY to see all the fabulous Chanel confections. It truly was heaven on earth. If you’re in Paris, you’re thirsty and you don’t have any money to buy yourself a drink, just pop by the Chanel store. They offered me drinks left and right as if another sales associate didn’t offered me a few seconds ago — I had to say no all the time because of my fear of being bloated (yes, even with one drink)… we all know it’s a sin for you to be bloated, in Chanel of all places.

One day, I went back to the boutique to thoroughly explore ready-to-wear. I told myself I’m gonna stick to knits (hahaha) because I had the impression they’re more affordable than, say, anything tailored such as jackets, or, their beautiful, orgasmic dresses (what the heck am I gonna do with a Chanel dress?).

I mean, if you’re gonna explore and you found something super, super, super duper nice and you don’t mind starving yourself for a few weeks or months then you might as well buy it, right?

Well, I saw lots and lots of beautiful sweaters and pullovers and cardigans. There was this red v-neck pullover with white and black stripes and camelias and lots of sequins… beautiful. It was stunning. Absolutely stunning.

After several minutes of browsing, I went to the men’s area which I thought was really tiny. The clothes are enormous though. EVERYTHING was enormous. Even the neckties were enormous. This is the reason why half of the time I buy stuff from women’s because I COULD NEVER FIT INTO MEN’S CLOTHES EVEN DIOR HOMME IS BAGGY ON ME! Heck, I had a pair of size 34 – women’s – think sample size — Chanel cotton cigarette pants at that time.

I saw this really nice black men’s jacket in their smallest size… I got it out of the closet (I can’t say I got it out of the rack cause it was definitely inside a closet) and looked at the details for about 1-2 minutes. My sales associate asked me "why don’t you try it?" and I responded with "no, no, I don’t want to, I know I can’t afford it!" followed by a quick smile. She mumbled something in French and laughed… then she said something like it’s ok to try and it’s free! Hahahaha!

One of the other girls helped me get into the jacket and I looked at the mirror.

Not bad, I thought. The jacket is still wayyy too big for me but I’m sure they can have it altered.

My sales associate at that time is a 60+ year old grandma-type French lady… she wore a crisp white shirt, black wool cardigan, black pleated skirt and a white Chanel cuff bracelet. When she got back, she saw me wearing the men’s jacket I liked. She went berserk (ok, maybe that’s too extreme), pursed lips plus wagging fingers galore she said "non non non it doesn’t suit you".

I don’t know whether she saw the lust in my eyes because she told me to stay where I’m at.

A few minutes later, she came back with a smaller jacket. It was quite evident she’s holding a women’s jacket. It was super dark navy/midnight blue, almost black and it was a size 36. I don’t think it’s tweed but it was definitely woven material of some sort. It had a silk lining, it was sooo soft. It was soo lightweight. I think it had four buttons — in dark, gunmetal gray colour with the interlocking CCs.

I tried it on and voila!

It was perfection. It was pure perfection. It was beyond perfection. It was the most beautiful jacket I have ever seen in my entire life!

I don’t know what it is but there’s something really, really magical with their jackets. Perhaps it’s the way they mastered the art of weaving (I can’t, for the life of god, find the right word to use) all these bits and pieces of material like fabric, ribbon, cord, silk, tweed, or whatever into one cmind-blowing piece. Someone I know but don’t talk to anymore (it’s a long story) told me that she didn’t like Chanel pret-a-porter because they look incredibly tacky and terribly matronic… why should I trust her judgment when she carried this mustard-coloured fake Chloe Paddington bag and I subtly told her to use my black Balenciaga bag instead because "it looks better with her outfit"? I also told her it’s not a good idea to go to the Chloe boutique with her bag. It’s a good thing we’re both shallow – she had no qualms borrowing my bag. In fact, she even borrowed it for four days! Thinking about it now makes me laugh. I don’t think I’ll forget that experience… fine, maybe I’m evil. Maybe I’m shallow. Maybe I’m satan incarnate. Maybe I’ve got both of my feet burning in hell as I speak but I only have her best interests in mind. And mine. Hahaha!

So yeah.. my SA told me that jacket was meant for me. It looked realllllly good. It even looked nice with what I wore that day: black Chanel skinny jeans, Yves Saint Laurent turtleneck and navy blue cashmere Marni cardigan. I even pictured myself with that jacket, a plain white t-shirt, big Chanel sunglasses and jeans. Think off-duty SUPERmodel uniform ala Linda Evangelista — gorgeous!

I knew she wasn’t bullshitting me because she made the effort to find something what she thought is even nicer on me. Come to think of it, your typical sales associates will sugarcoat your ass and say you’re the most gorgeous beast on the planet even if you look hideous on the first item you picked up.

After quite some time, I thought I’d snap myself back to reality because I don’t want to waste any of their time. One glance at the price tag is enough to burst my little bubble of fantasy.

The price? If memory serves me right, it was 4,800 Euros which is around $520,167,176,142,120.44 in American money, something I could no longer afford at that time considering I just spent my entire life savings at their boutique when I bought a pair of boots, a pair of shoes, a brooch, a few necklaces, a keychain, a belt, a pair of pants and a watch when I visited the boutique the prior days. Hah!

I gave the jacket back to the lady, telling her it was the most beautiful piece I have ever seen but I have to let go cause I can’t afford it — with a little frown, followed by a smile.

She told me it was alright and she repeated her little spiel on how I shouldn’t feel uncomfortable and it’s free to try (ugh!!!!!!! soo embarassing). She was laughing all throughout. Hahaha! WELL, IT’S NOT MY FAULT FOR BEING POOR!!!! IT’S NOT MY FAULT WE’RE NOT IN THIRD WORLD PHILIPPINE POLITICS — YOU DO KNOW IF I HAD A CHOICE, I’D CHOSE TO BE BORN TO A POLITICAL CLAN. Hahaha! Anyway, she said she will put it on hold for me in the next 3 days (though I didn’t ask for it) so I can decide and I can come back as many times I want to try it again. It’s also ok even if I don’t come back and get it. Believe me, she did her best for me not to have emotional scars!!! Hahaha!

To compensate for my disappointment, I ended up buying 3 bags, a baseball cap, a sunvisor, a sweater, a beach towel, a belt, a scarf and a few other presents. NO HUMAN BEING IN THEIR RIGHT MIND CAN MANAGE TO LEAVE THE STORE EMPTY HANDED.

So there… I don’t think they still have that jacket there. Hello, it’s been what, 10 months? I just hope the store sold **THAT** jacket to someone who wants it more than me.

I’ve been a really good boy this year and in spite of my occassional blips here and there, I deserve a Chanel jacket this Christmas, don’t you think? Perhaps next year when I turn 17?

Either way, I hope either Father Christmas or Uncle Karl fulfills my wish.

I have a feeling that’s never gonna happen though cause I believe in karma and it’s my karma to save up and buy a jacket myself because I was naughty to that woman with the fake Chloe bag. Har dee har har.

By the way, I made this little Chanel calendar for those of you who, like me, are not wealthy enough to buy Chanel goodies left and right. I mean seriously, I think the novelty wears off if EVERYTHING YOU OWN is Chanel (or if you own everything Chanel on top of other things haha). Let’s put it this way — not all of us can BUY IT ALL. I do believe that sometimes, it’s the unreachable and unattainable that makes something extra special. We can start with Chanel lip gloss, move to sunglasses, upgrade to bags followed by jackets, fine jewelry, vintage and then finally, haute couture.

I think there’s always something for everyone of all ages at Chanel!!! Be sure to print it out and stick it on your fridge! HAUTE COUTURE OR BUST! If I don’t find someone who’s gonna buy me haute couture by the time I’m 40, I’m gonna organize a mass suicide event for those of you who are on the same boat as me.


OMG I want his babies!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Imagine the look on every jealous girl and envious faggot’s faces if you’ve got a man like that on your arm.

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What I meant was… say hello to the boys of Chanel! Hahaha!

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This necklace looks sooooo familiar… hahaha!

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Me likey likey the belt!!!!! I WANT THE BELT!!!!!!! It is SOOO ME!!!!!

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I love each and every one of you! Email me and tell me you love me. My email address is or SMS +63.915.785.1492.


PS. Discuss this blog post on my Online Discussion Forum.

PPSS. Many of you emailed me asking for more pictures of my muse, my mascot and my English knight in shining armour Alex. Here you go. Don’t go asking me for more cause I’m not posting any more of his pictures unless they’re really nice so there!!!!!!!!!

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  1. ronaldbrian

    Chanel should give you that jacket free, what with the media mileage Chanel is getting through this post. Frankly, I think the jacket’s ugly and won’t go with anything other than that sequined boxer briefs the model is wearing. But that’s just me.

  2. ronaldbrian

    Chanel should give you that jacket free, what with the media mileage Chanel is getting through this post. Frankly, I think the jacket’s ugly and won’t go with anything other than that sequined boxer briefs the model is wearing. But that’s just me.

  3. ronaldbrian

    Chanel should give you that jacket free, what with the media mileage Chanel is getting through this post. Frankly, I think the jacket’s ugly and won’t go with anything other than that sequined boxer briefs the model is wearing. But that’s just me.

  4. you sound like a really nice person from the way u blog.. i enjoyed reading your blog.. so sincere and nice..

  5. you didnt buy the jacket but you bought all that other stuff instead?wouldnt all the other stuff total up to cost more than the jacket? honey, you should have just splurged and bought it! especially if you still remember it now…

  6. hannah my dear, it’s called value for money. hahahaha. at least i got a LOT of things with the amount i paid vs 1 really expensive thing *wink*

  7. If you love something that much you simply have to have it at any cost. It is our duty as gay men to live as far beyond our means as possible. Keep saying to yourself “I shop, therefore I am”

  8. i love this site!! I never even thought of the Philippines as a vacation spot till i saw photos of Boracay on this website. I am soo headed there on my next vacation. I hope to got their are some chicks that looks like Bryan Boy’s sister there!! OMG!! All i need is a good website to help me out. I hope i dont break the bank like he did in Paris. Hey Bryan come to NYC I’ll show you around but please dont dress like a girl! just kidding! NYC loves you and the Philippines!!!

  9. i will buy u one!! when im rich that is..just email me when ur 40,ill buy u a haute couture,and a free trip to the plastic surgeon..btw,i find this blog is damn intresting..bryan boy is sexy..

  10. Oh honey, this is quite a coincidence bc I just went thru the whole Chanel S/S 07 slideshow just yesterday and have been dreaming about how fucking awesome it is. I of course would stab myself for anything Chanel, but I didn’t LOVE LOVE LOVE Fall/Winter (esp the couture with the denim arms and legs) how I love S/S. Fucking Karl hit the nail on the head. Everything that went down that runway was amazing.
    My calculator is the same as yours, but add 10 years to everything. Although right now, I am uber holding back buying the white with black toe boots with the bows on the ankles. SO HOT!
    Sorry to ramble…I am just so excited by Chanel. Plus I’m going to NYC in 3 weeks so I will have to go by the Soho store which is my favorrrrite. Ugh ok bye bye bb.
    PS Did u ever get that magazine from LA?
    PPS Do u get a show called Signe Chanel over there? It’s all about the design and production at Chanel and it’s pretty much just Karl being fabulous.

  11. I love Chanel brand name all my stuffs are Chanel im fucking Chanel Addict!

  12. Chanel is clearly the pinnacle of fashion, though there are some ugly items from time to time. I like the tweed jacket as far as tweed goes–it doesn’t look tweedy which is a plus. What I want to ask is, where are these men’s items available? I knew Chanel makes some accessories (ties, sunglasses) for men, and cologne (Egoiste Platinum is my favorite), but not actual garments. Though in the shows there are often men walking. Please explain.

  13. Boys 1 and 4 are *drool*! Can anyone say ‘Hawwwwwt Couture’? “Legs wide open” babe! xx

  14. OH fuck you for rubbing it in. I realise everything I own has nothing to do with Chanel or Karl Lagerfeld now and I WANT TO GO FUCKING SHOPPING. NOW. AT CHANEL. (Unfortunately there isn’t a glimpse of Chanel Homme here in Malaysia- come to think of it, I do own a Chanel J12 I never use because it screams ‘chop my wrist and grab the thing’)
    Oh you just get me in the mood. HAHAHHA
    Because I love the feeling of exclusivity and I love owning things NO ONE ELSE HAS.

  15. HauteTraveller

    You said NO to the jacket but you bought 3 bags and a sweater and other things instead??? I hope you realize how stupid that is considering you spent the cost of the jacket on the 3 bags alone. I dont feel sorry for you one bit!! By the way, 4,800 euros is about $6,000 American dollars. Less than a Birkin bag, Bryanboy!

  16. i love love love Chanel! I went to their flagship store in Paris when i was 16 and all I could afford was sunglasses…and they were on sale. :( I know the feeling BB! :(

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