Blond boys have more fun + Postcard from Paris

Written By bryanboy

Blond boys have more fun

Yes, you read that right. No, you’re not hallucinating.

I’m sooo depressed I thought I’d scare the shit out of people at the mall.

Spare change? Sucky sucky 5 dolla me love you long time 10 dolla you pay 20 dolla I gib free roast duck?

The white man behind me (with the baby) grabbed my ass while his two wives laughed. Long live polygamy.

I’m kidding.

Don’t be fooled by that smile — there’s a sad and depressed person inside. Work it like you own it. Fake it till you make it. Everything about me is perfect but I am fake, to Janice Dickison: thanks for everything, love, julie newmar bryanboy.

Does blond suit me or do I look like one of those cheapetic blond asian american ghetto fabulouzzzzzz FOBs?

Channelling Kate Moss…

Nah. Kate’s not the type who’s gonna wear 5,000 colours at the same time. Is that a double chin I see? Nice try though.

One more. Give me that heroin chic look… Beautiful! Smashing! Fantastic! Brilliant! Amazing! Magnifique!

You’re still 20 pounds overweight though.

Blame it on Coffee Bean. If they only made calorie-free vanilla ice blended….

I want a gorgeous, well-hung blond boy to strip me naked and lather me up with soap. I haven’t taken a shower in 3 weeks and I smell like European smegma.

Gotta love my zombie hands/wrists… it’s a sign of beauty!

Today’s Obligatory Paparazzi Shot

Postcard from Paris

All this bollocking j’ai la main parisienne talk I’ve been doing the past few days and I get this in the mail…

Only the French will write on a postcard and put it inside an envelope. *wink* *wink* Hahaha!

"Hello Bryan. Here is some fresh love from Paris. I wish some day, I will have a beautiful wedding dress like here. HAHAHA. Kiss, Alec!!"

followed by

"Bryan, this is Bouba. …would you marry… me? Love, Bouba"

Awww… thanks boys! I love both of you!!! 

Look at what I found on the interweb earlier. There’s a reason why I love British girls – no, not because they’re fat (they make me feel better about my obese ass) but this… I think they make the best fag hags around. For real! Meet Katie. She’s also having a little Chanel obsession. Like me. Isn’t the photo cute? It’s SOOOO Juergen Teller. I had this book back in the dark ages called "GO SEES". I remember lending it to someone who, till this day, owes me a shitload of Vuittons, and that book hasn’t seen the light of day.

Had she worn a little black dress and replaced that thing on her head with a little cute scarf with interlocking CCs, she can star in a little Chanel campaign, no? Gorgeous!

Email me and tell me you love me! Coming up next: photos of your unconditional love and my infamous pose! My email address is or SMS +63.915.785.1492.

I love you all!


  1. wow! this is ur best pics ever! where did u get that necklace? beautiful!
    love u!

  2. Your best post EVAH! Love it. This is why I read your blog.
    BTW you look soooo tall in these pics? What is your height?

  3. necklace is from louis vuitton, belt is from prada, bag from goyard, sunglasses from valentino, shoes from fendi, jeans from J-Brand, t-shirt from People r people

  4. which car were you using that day?? u never mentioned anything about the cars.

  5. i have a gorgeous, well hung blond boy who strips me naked and who I shower with sleeping next to me right now. :-) And I’m far removed from being skinny! or girly! :-)
    great blog and photos though!

  6. ChristianeVV

    BB, you grgeous motherfucka… how can you be so fucking perfect all the time?! Hate you and love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. christine

    You make a damn sexy blonde. Also, wtf is up with the necklace/shoes?!?!

  8. Whats the point of modding the comments if your going to approve ignorant ones anyway?(like one a couple down below me).
    Anyway, I love you as a blonde, you would make a killer drag queen.

  9. I hate myself for not going to the mall that day! grr. I envy the girl who was wearing our uniform, and was part in your picture. tsk tsk.

  10. take those jeans off and burn them,please-and yea u look sorta good with the blond wig but the clothes just throw it off.hey,ever thought of writing an autob?or some sort of book about fashion

  11. the belt has to go!
    the necklace balances the “pseudo-trash rock look”
    the shoes. are those D&G?
    the blond look? very…idk

  12. omg! what are you wearing? theyre hideous! compared to your previous fashionable outfits! burn them right this instant! love the blondie-scaring-the-people look though! hehe!

  13. hahaha. you are too funny.
    you actually look like a real girl in those pics.
    well, either a real girl or a japanese teener boy gone completely insane.

  14. teehee!
    i work at a Zara here in Vancouver… i ADORE ur blog, btw…. and i just wanted u to know that ur doing one of my FAVOURITESTTTTT printed tees good justice by wearing it on ur delicious body!!! LOVE it~!~ I’m afraid to say I have the same one because you’re just galaxies above me style-wise. But when I saw you wearing it while holding up that sign “Who do i have to blow to get some attention” I almost shit myself. *reading reading reading* – screeching halt – * ~GASP~ * …..’is that a zara shirt?!!??!…….
    I love ur little piece on zara too…….I felt proud to be an employee of a shameful international “fashion chain” promoting moderately-priced products for the high(er)-income middle class matrons of Europe and North America!!! woot~~~ and yes I’m damn proud of our winter coats. woohoo! Every snow-fall my closet doubles in size.

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