NEWSFLASH: If you live in NEW YORK CITY, expect a shitload of I HEART BRAYNBOY stickers coming your way (shit, I can’t even spell my name properly I’m not gonna bother correcting it cause we all know I don’t proofread or spell check my shit). Anyway, half of my readers in the USA live in Manhattan and the surrounding boroughs. My minions are going to shamelessly promote my fat brown ass in the city that never sleeps. I’m on a fucking roll!!!! I can’t wait!
NEWSFLASH #2: Due to insistent public demand and for easy access (I guess you all love them), I’m gonna repost my backpacking-related posts. I must have been on crack when I wrote those entries. Click here (the BIGGEST PICTIONARY EVAR) and here (Bryanboy the backpacker).
I loooove this sticker campaign. I feel like a fucking politician! Maybe I should run for public office here in the third world? Ever since I was a child, I wanted to be the daughter of a politician with access to all that fabulous ill-gotten wealth.
Remember what I said before? It would be sooo fucking cool to be able to say "daddy, please buy me a
Russian sable coat Hummer Cessna Citation Oscar de la Renta dress Fendi bag Bentley and let your constituents die from thirst and starvation." Well, I don’t want to be a politician’s daughter anymore. I WANT TO BE THE FUCKING POLITICIAN!!!!!! Oh fuck that. Screw that shit. Why should I limit myself to being some damn politician. I SHOULD BE THE NEW UNITED NATIONS SECRETARY GENERAL! I’ll be just like Mr. Kofi Annan and his Swedish wife except I’ll be Mrs. Bryanboy with a Swedish hubby.
It’s perfectly alright to daydream (well, it’s free) and if you’re gonna fantasize about something, you might as well aim high and shoot for the stars.
I needed some space on my digital camera so I thought it would be best to transfer pictures to my computer. I have quite a few photos that our maid took last week. These photos reminds me some of the photos last year, back in November, when I experienced homophobia from a fuckin 5 year old kid. I wonder where he is now… I bet you he got sold to some old, balding white pedophile. Just my luck! Haha! OK, that was very, very mean of me to say. What do you expect though… that kid’s words still haunted me to this date. FAG! FAG! FAG! FAG! Hahahaha *kidding*
I MISS MY OLD BODY! I CAN’T BELIEVE I GAINED 20 POUNDS THIS YEAR!
This is me back in November, 2005. I weighed anywhere between 110-115 pounds. But then again, I was Miss Colombia 2005 before and all I did was shove 5,000 kilos of cocaine up my nose and stick 4 fingers down my throat. *kidding*
Here’s another shot..
And this is me now. I’m too embarassed to share my weight. Let’s just say I mastered the art of eating and I no longer regurgitate whatever ate. You know, in some cultures, I can still fit to a size 2 but for the most part, I’m a size 4. All that shit in 8 months. It’s TERRIBLE! This is what ‘leading a healthy lifestyle’ does to your body.
Take note of all that excess flesh on my arm. You’d think they’ll be gone by now considering I had lipo done last month but no… I gained whatever I lost back because of excessive eating!
At least I still look ok on the side. I’m gonna commit suicide when I can no longer feel bones on my arm.
I think that’s it for now. I need to go through my shit. I can’t find anything to wear! The number #1 TV (that’s television not transvestite) station in the country wants to get me on tape this afternoon for one of their shows.
I’m gonna wear a v-neck and an a striped shirt. I can’t decide what ribbon to use or whether I should use my necklace. I think I’m gonna keep it simple and just use the blue ribbon and pin it to the collar with a brooch, just wear jeans, black boots and a Chanel bag.
I’ll keep you guys posted later!
As always, I love you all. Email firstname.lastname@example.org or SMS +63.915.785.1492.
PPSS. Big shout out to John from Westminster, CA who recently emailed me a photo of him doing the Infamous Bryanboy pose. I LOVE IT… and I LOVE YOUR GOYARD BAG. HAHAHAHA! WE HAVE THE SAME RED CRIOISIERE! I hate you bitch… you even have the stripes!!
It’s nice to be able to influence today’s youth in buying Goyard bags. Leave the Louis Vuitton to Hurrican Katrina victims and their $2,000 Red Cross debit cards. Go, go, go GOYARD!