Stupid Question: Bryanboy = Backpacker?

Written By bryanboy

Stupid Question: Bryanboy = Backpacker?

I know this is a ridiculously stupid question because I’ve never "roughed it up" or gone "backpacking" before… but can I go "backpacking" with an LV trunk? I don’t have a real, real backpack like those hideous 5-foot high nylon-and-mesh bullcrap that a lot of young Brits and Australians seem to carry.

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The Bryanboy Camel Pic: For some strange reason, many people all over the world LOVE this photo. I want to have another "kodak moment", this time, with another animal, like an elephant, tiger or orangutan. Click here to read the camel picture story.

I chatted to my Mexican buddy yesterday. I asked him the LV question and his reply was: "…………… no comment". I brought this whole backpacking subject to him a few months back and he told me I have to ditch biz/first class tickets, hotel suites and designer luggage if I’m really serious about backpacking.

Even one of my Brit friends told me it’s nice to keep things "REAL" by travelling via land (i.e. trains, buses, etc), stay at "youth" hostels, etc. The ocassional splurge is allowed, i.e. a fancy meal at a fabulous restaurant or the odd shopping here and there… but nothing outrageously excessive.

It all sounds appalling AND appealing at the same time. But when you think about it, maybe he’s right.

Almost every European person I’ve talked to seem to have all these amazing stories how they went to far-flung destinations on their own and ‘roughed it up’. You know what I’m talking about — $3 bungalows in Thailand, $10 youth hostels in India, sleeping in tents, go to "dive places", yaddi yaddi yadda. Heck, even this American guy Chad that I’ve been talking to on and off for the past few months (he goes to UPenn/Wharton but currently interning in China) took the train to bumfuck, Tibet (of all places) and met all sorts of random people and had a blast.

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I’m soooooooon fucking JEALOUS! I kinda feel bad for myself because here I am, just a few more months to go before I turn into a pumpkin (a quarter of a century year old) and I haven’t experienced this whole backpacking at exotic places thing in all the years that I’ve travelled. I have no one else to blame really other than myself.

Contrary to what people think, I don’t travel a lot. Once or twice a year is simply not a lot. I like to plan things out, save a decent amount of dosh, take a long time off and just leave. I don’t like the whole 2 or 3 day bullshit trips — I like my vacations long, well-thought out and decadent. I’d rather work my ass off for quite awhile then splurge all out on premium plane seats, nice hotels and embark on a "no expense barred" holiday once a year. When I travel, I like to temporarily detach myself (escape is the right word) from reality, forget where I came from, meet new people, experience new things, live the life that I don’t have back "home" and overall, have a jolly good time. Afterall, "home" will always be there so it doesn’t make any sense to bring "home" with me when I’m travelling, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, so yeah. This whole "roughing up" bull crap fascinates me. It’s something I’ve never done before and it’s been quite awhile since I did something "new". I’ll never forget that Emirates Airline commercial (or was it Intercontinental Hotels?)… the one with the 2 black guys who went to some cold city and experienced snow… or that super old Japanese woman who rode a helicopter from the top of "Burj Al Arab" hotel. The one that said "when was the last time you did something for the first time?" … or something like that.

I really OWE myself a decent vacation after all the things I went through this year. I’m simply exhausted. One more day in this mundane life and I’m gonna snap into insanity… if I haven’t already. The thing is though, it’s too early for me to do one of those "big" high-voltage luxurious trips… I reckon I’ll do that later in the year during winter time. Brazil in October? Europe or North America in December? I don’t know. It’s too early to tell. Fuck the future. I’d rather focus on the "NOW"and that NOW is desperately gagging to get a vacation.

I could take some time off sometime soon but only for 2 weeks max… probably 10 days. I think I’ll give this backpacking thing a shot. I don’t think I can go backpacking in Europe with all the temptation — it’s pointless!

I figured, if I’m gonna give this thing a shot, I’ll do it closer to home where I can always evacuate to the nearest mall for some serious life-saving shopping.

My head is telling me to go to Singapore for 2-3 days, take the train (something I’ve never done in Asia) to Kuala Lumpur for 2-3 days to visit friends, followed by another extensive train ride across Thailand. Another option is to skip Bangkok and fly to Mumbai/Bombay, India directly from Kuala Lumpur. I really want to go to India. I’ve never been there and I don’t care about all the stories people told me. I need a dose of culture in my system and India is a fabulous place to get it. I’ll do it 100% backpacker-style, no Louis Vuitton, Goyard, Globe-trotter or Prada luggage. I’ll also try to find a travel buddy online so I’ll have someone to keep my sanity intact while I’m slumming it.

However, my heart is telling me to go to Singapore for 2-3 days, stay at the Raffles or Ritz Carlton, followed by a shopping trip to Bangkok (Metropolitan Hotel) for another 2-3 days, then a 5-star 5-day indulgence galore in India — business class tickets all the way, fabulous hotels, shop till I drop and just spend spend spend until I declare bankruptcy. Great choice if I want to self-destruct and/or not take a vacation this winter.

Decisions decisions! It’s sooo fucking hard to decide what to do and where to go!

Is there a way I can "backpack" part time, like, during the day? Luxury is very addictive… once you get trapped it’s hard to stop. It beats the purpose of "backpacking" if I visited Fendi during the day and spend an exorbitant amount of money on booze at night. It doesn’t make any sense to go "backpacking" and then spend the night at a fabulous hotel where post-clubbing 4AM room service exists and Mercedes car transfers at my disposal anytime. Hahaha!

God dammit it’s soo hard! I really can’t decide what to do. If I was a rich girl, na na na na na na na na, I wouldn’t be worrying about decisions. I’d go backpacking BUT I’ll take daddy’s jet with me, along with my maid Eunice, a British butler, a dozen Mexican lumberjacks and Russian hookers to keep me company and carry my 17,803,504 kilos worth of luggage. I’m telling you all, I’ve been searching for a sugar daddy politician with ill-gotten wealth FOR THE LONGEST TIME to adopt me but all my efforts have gone to waste. I even had an adoption notice put up. Click here to read my old blog entry.

I think I’ll go through the "backpacking" route. What do you think? It should be a great learning experience for me, not to mention the extremely high chance of meeting smelly, scruffy but oh-so-fucking-hot fellow backpackers from bumfuck Europe, Australia or New Zealand. We’ll get drunk most of the time on cheap booze, think Contiki 18-35 holidays, yuck hahaha *kidding* before I’ll get sent to some dingy third world prison Bridget Jones-style because one of my fellow blond-haired, blue eyed backpackers will smuggle heroin or marijuana inside some cheap tourist trap souvenir I got from some dirty wet market.

Man, it sounds soooo fucking scary. But exciting at the same time.

Not the prison part. Hahahaha!

Here’s a photo of one of my Swedish loverboy Jakob’s best friend, Ola, on top of some camel in Beijing. I think that thing he’s riding is not the original Bryanboy camel but whatever. Haha!

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Blah blah blah.

So I did the first step in shopping around for travel buddies — I posted an ad online. Before you ask, I don’t have many friends let alone find someone here who is willing to do such crazy thing as "backpacking".

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I don’t know who’s gonna end up with me but I’m excited with the thought already!!!!!

It makes me wonder, has anyone here stayed at some youth hostel or whatever? Where do friggin backpackers stay? I mean, are there lots of sex going on? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!

I spent almost 3 hours on the phone with one of my Australian friends earlier and she told me that those youth hostels are really scary because everyone shares 1 toilet and yaddi yaddi yadda. I can’t remember if I asked her about getting some anal action but she did tell me that I shouldn’t bring anything designer cause it would be stolen.

Bah! I don’t know what to do anymore. I figured I’ll just go with the flow, see what happens.

Whatever decision I make, you’ll definitely be the first person to know.

Until then.

I love each and every one of you! Email bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63.915.785.1492.

Tell me you love me!

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PS. Discuss this blog post on my Online Discussion Forum.

PPSS. Big shout out to Igster from the UK (hahahaha I totally love your sign), Nikita and Shqina from South Carolina, USA, Kukay from Holland, Alexis and Rebecca from Manhattan, Jasie from Malaysia, Truly Asia and last, but not the least, Annilism from Singapore! All your photos are gorgeous! You all have my email address — keep them coming and no photoshopped pictures please :)

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26 Comments

  1. Since you are planning to make a stop in Malaysia, do drop by JB (Johor Bahru). Were right on top of Singapore and I could be your tour guide for the day :D

  2. Have you given any thought to what this “backpacking” will do to your complexion?! I mean seriously….think about it…

  3. Don’t do it Bryan! Believe you me, “backpacking” is way overrated. I did the youth hostel thing in London when I was in my 20’s because that’s all I can afford and have no choice. You are not the type to “rough it” dahling. Use your starwood points! :)

  4. hannah

    backpacking? seriously? i dont know how people do it, when do you have time to do your skin care and make up regime? and more over, when do you shower?!

  5. Hey Bryanboy, you might want to consider taking this bus from Singapore to Malaysia: https://www.aeroline.com.my/ ;)
    Oh, and if you’re hostelling it in Bangkok, Shambara is highly recommended. It has a shared toilet and bath, but they’re clean and not *too* small (well, not hostel toilet small)

  6. I went backpacking last winter in Northern Italy (Florence, Siena, Cinque Terra, Venice) with a side-trip in Paris. I was like you at first, unsure about the whole concept. But let me assure you, its such a great experience i’ll never forget. About the hostels…you just have to do some research online, look at people’s commments. I think you should give it a try…you’ll definitely meet some cool people. When I was in Venice I ended up befriending this Spanish guy and his sister and I ended up exploring the city with them. One last incentive with the hostels is that its usually shared bathroom and you have to share your room. I had two really hot canadian roomies and they slept naked! Have a fabulous time.

  7. Daniel

    All I have to say is have you ever seen a backpacker when they return home? They look like they haven’t taken a shower in months and stink probably worse than that camel you were on. Ewwww. Ya and that whole shared bathroom thing….unless it’s a locker room I don’t want to be in there……

  8. Just grab a Pionneer backpack from Vuitton and hike the day away, while looking fabulous, Brayanboy!

  9. Tinkerbell <3

    Go for it! :)
    Oh and if you need a tourguide in Bangkok, lemme know. I know reliable guys there. :p

  10. You know what Bryan, it won’t kill you to try! Either you love it or you just escape to the nearest five star luxurious hotel. You’ll be fine – and fabolous! Love you!

  11. Vicky Pollard

    the only reason you’re considering backpacking is because you’re running out of money, cheap shemale prostitute. You’re well out of order! If you go to a youth hostel, you’re so well gonna get beatings, you complete slag. And please go on a diet, waggle waggle fatty!

  12. jeweladdict

    I tried backpacking once, like you I have an aversion to those horrible knapsack thingies made out of cheap nylon so declasse really, but you know what, theres a reason why they’re popular. Try schlepping a huge LV trunk everytime you switch trainstations or negotiate your way through crowded city busses. I didnt have an LV trunk but I did have a medium sized hardshell suitcase and it was HELL. And guess what, quaint as it may seem Youth Hostels have communal rooms and bathrooms where people with little or no hygiene shack up with you in the same room. its fucking gross! Id rather stay home than rough it again.

  13. aionara

    exciting! but don’t get held-up or killed or anything! Bringing an LV trunk would be fab but not if it attracts roommates who’d make off with it while you’re dreaming.

  14. Hi Bryanboy, thank you for the mail and I changed the link already. You’ll get your photo of course. Greetings from Bavaria to you. You are the stylished men alive! Really! *hugs and waves*

  15. Oh why don’t you try to fly in somewhere in southern India (cos they’re friendlier there and there’s some non-Pilipinas passport-friendly bullshit going on in the airports in the northern part somebody told me :( ) and then work your way up perhaps? You can visit Tibet too and Bhutan from there :D
    I’m backpacking with some friends this October tho during sem break, Vietnam-Cambodia-Bangkok-Malaysia. Aaaah can’t wait.

  16. GOSH COME TO SINGAPORE!!!! :D Except it isn’t much of a backpacking place, more of a shop-y place. And you’re right on time, Jimmy Choo in Takashimaya is set to open in July ’06 here :D
    And you can visit Zouk while you’re at it. Ahahaha my friends and I are excited xD

  17. Athletic

    Oh, Brian! You just got to completely commit yourself and do it. Even if you hate it, at least you won’t have any regrets! Good luck…I wish I could join you.

  18. CleverGirl

    You probably already know this but you’re Slut of the week on D-listed. There’s even a few pissy comments about you so you know what that means. You’re officially famous! Congrats!!!

  19. omg bb, michael k at dlisted gave you a huge rap!!! not only are you his “hot slut of the WEEK”, he says you’re “an extremely talented and funny writer, and a fashion icon to boot. fuck kate moss, this is the real shit right here”. WOW. you go girlfriend – “the hottest bitch in the philippines”!!! woot!!! ;-P

  20. LMAO i love that fucking picture. you’re a feirce dirty bitch. you remind me of my best friend though hes NOT as high fashion as you. beautiful!

  21. backpacking is worth it if youve got the right company to keep you sane. even if you dont, its still worth the experience. singapore, kl, thailand (you should head down to koh phangan. awesome full moon party. a must-go for backpackers. check them out online. lotsa faggadydoodas which will be more than glad to give you a whiff of their knackers ;) ) and india sounds fantastic. vietnam is another great place to backpack, might wanna consider it.

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