All bruised up on a Sunday night
Finally! I can’t even remember the last time I posted a picture of myself on this website. A lot of you are worried because I haven’t camwhored recently but I’ve got nothing and no one else to blame other than myself. I’ve been channelling domestic goddess Martha Stewart because of my recent lipo and today is the first day I managed to get out of the house. I met up with a writer who interviewed me for a local magazine and I also met up a friend for a little chat/dinner.
I hereby present you my first public appearance after my recent "uhhhperation".
Both my arms are all swollen and bruised up but it’s all good. You should know by now that I don’t mind doing a little bit of sacrifice here and there… all in the name of vanity.
Here’s what the back of my arms looks like. As you can see, I overdosed again on the self-tanner and I’ve got ginormous bruises all over the place. Ultimately, my goal is to be able to wrap my thumb and my pinkie (between any section) around my arms. It’s no easy feat but with the help of modern science, we’ll get there.
I know, I know, call me sick in the head but I have to practice what I preach. It’s already given that I’m not really fat or obese. Every time I whinge or whine about being "fat" is just another pathetic attempt in seeking attention.
But then again, we all know I’m NOT stick thin. Half of the people I know keep on telling me I gained weight whenever I see each other, for instance, my grandma recently told me "ang lusog lusog mo!" (translation: you’re so healthy!). In this country, you only use the word "lusog" to describe any bovinic farm animal, like pigs and cows.
And don’t even go on about changing my dietary habits. I’m a hopeless case, I’m telling you. I’ve tried every single diet, every single pill, every single laxative and fad out there. I even got a fabulous ride on the cocaine train only to come into conclusion that Kate Moss and I could never be best friends.
I’m giving this lipodissolve (aka fat jabs/injectable fat dissolver) another shot… or eighteen, if you must. The results aren’t immediate and I may have to come back to the clinic a few more times to achieve the body that I want but the hell with it. With the help of my doctor, my life-long struggle with fat has to end. Once I get the body that I want, I promise… I repeat… I promise to:
1) Watch out what I’m eating and
2) Renew my gym membership + exercise.
Can you imagine what I had for dinner today? It was carbs central galore! I ate a shitload of bread, finished a huge plate of crostini and pâté, had 10 scallops and a huge salad with slices of duck… that’s in addition to a watermelon shake and 4 gin tonics.
When will I ever learn?
I’m a stubborn, obnoxious prick. I’ll do what I want when I want it. There I was in my full fattening glory… I pigged out on generous servings of pâté (in spite of my recent lipo) over a conversation I never thought I’d have. I mean come on, it’s not often that you get to talk about things such as United Nations, UNICEF, NGOs (that’s non-governmental organizations) etc. Overall, I really had a great dinner. It was all too surreal but it was fun. I’m so glad there are people out there who do care about the welfare of others. It was humbling alright.
Oddly enough, I bought a copy of the Philippine Tatler when I popped by the gas station on my way home and it was their "Charity Issue". BTW, I also bought some chocolate, cigarettes and Red Bull.
With my little "United Nations" dinner + this month’s Tatler in mind, is it a sign that I should be doing more for other people instead of myself?
Well… Tatler’s horoscope says it all… and accurate, if I may add.
"Aries: Use your increased emotional energy effectively by stopping some kind of injustice — perhaps cruelty to children or animals or just preventing someone from making a fool of him/herself. You will be among the big achievers of the Zodiac this month and will deserve all the praise you get. But be very cautious on and around the 14th. When the Sun moves into Leo on the 22nd, you’ll have time for leisure and fun."
Take one good look at all the things that happened to me this month — foie gras, food poisoning, and filming.
Is that a sign of things to come?
I need to get my ass to Brazil. PRONTO.