Excessively Preppy. Office Worker Chic. I mean Shit.

Written By bryanboy

Excessively Preppy. Office Worker Chic

Boy oh boy, what an unbelievable weekend I had. It rained cats and dogs on Saturday night and it was pouring parties left and right. The awful H2O that fell from the sky didn’t stop my preppy-wannabe ass from hopping from one party to another.

I left the house at 7PM and it wasn’t even raining. As soon as I crossed the territorial borders of the big city with the bright lights, it started to pour. A friend called and even suggested that I should unleash the fur and the Jacket-a-wheelers cause it was pissing down with rain. Thank god I brought a Dior Homme dinner jacket with me.

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Super super drunk but I still look fierce. And fugly. Look at the face. Hahaha!

Too bad she called in late. I friggin wore a white top and beige trousers. Eeek! My dry cleaners will have a ball as soon as I send in my shit. LOL.

Hat by Chanel, top from Neil Barrett, fish necklace from Chanel, pearl belt (worn as necklace) by Chanel, faux pearls necklace from a flea market, B bag from Fendi, bracelet by Hermès, trousers by Prada, shoes from Louis Vuitton.

First stop was Dustin’s farewell dinner. That guy is soo cute… and tall… and educated (unlike me). He’s going back to Chicago or New York, wherever the hell in the USA and won’t be back for god knows how long. I hate having short term memory loss. Ugh. But whatever. Dustin, hope you have a safe flight, it was nice meeting you, I hope you have a good life and in the event that we see each other again, I hope I’ll get to suck your cock.

Anyway, I didn’t know where the restaurant (Trio) is, in spite of asking 200,000 people for directions. I didn’t bring an umbrella with me and I don’t want my outfit to be ruined so I decided to go to my favourite Italian restaurant in Manila, L’Opera for some aperitifs and a little salmon treat while waiting for my friend Hannah to pick me up.

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Hannah channeled her inner Lindsay Lohan with a fantastic white number, black tights and red Jimmy Choos. We both didn’t have an umbrella so the fantastic folks at L’Opera escorted us to Trio, which is just around the corner.


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Being the anorexics that we are, Hannah and I ordered a salad. She had calamari/squid and I had beef. My salad was delicious. Dustin thought Hannah’s squid was mayonnaise. It was hilarious.

I met some of Dustin’s friends and they were all young, prim, proper, posh and polished. There was this lovely skinny girl with short hair and a fantastic dress. I’m terrible when it comes to remembering names but she was cute. 

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Deep inside I thought "shit, how come they’re like *that* (in a good way) and how come I’m like *this*". I wanna be primp, proper and polished too, god dammit! I get so jealous and insecure of people who carry themselves properly with grace and class whereas I… I’m a fuckin juckass with a high level of CRASS. Hahahahaha!

I had to leave Dustin’s farewell dinner (omg I can’t believe I told him I find his ex cute) early because I’m late for yet ANOTHER dinner party.

This lovely guy named Arun invited my friend Mariko and I over dinner along with his friends. They’re very nice people. His grandmother made all these scrumptious Indian delights. It was heaven. Again, I’m a sucker when it comes to names but the beef and the lamb was fucking heaven. The samosa was to die for.

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Me and Mariko and Teak

I totally cheated on my "dying to be thin" diet on Saturday night. To add salt to the wound, I didn’t even bother purging it like my bulimia best friends do it. I don’t want to see good, scrumptious food down the toilet. I’m telling you, no more dinner parties for me. At least in the next few days. I need to stick to my watermelon diet if I want to fulfill my goal of losing 20 pounds.

I felt bad for pulling an "eat-and-run" at Arun’s because I was late for another engagement with guys who invited me for drinks. Investment bankers!!!! Oi vey! It was overwhelming! This time I went to a bar/restaurant called Teak in Rockwell. They were extremely lovely, hospitable and friendly. It really is nice to meet new people. This year alone, let me tell you, I probably have met (and interacted) with hundreds of people. I love it.

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Après-Teak, my friend and I popped by Cuisine and the usual haunt La Embajada. Lots of new faces and kids. I didn’t see the usual fixtures and there was an undeniable lack-age of hot guys. HOY HANNAH IT’S A SIGN! YOU AND I WE NEED TO GO TO BANGKOK OR SINGAPORE AND GET SOME COCK ACTION. We won’t get cock in this land I’m telling you. I know you wanna to go to Bangkok but I wanna go to Singapore cause I have a shitload of fans there!!!! (Hello Singapore!!!)

Anyway, boy I got sooo drunk the other night I even have pictures with people I don’t know/don’t remember their names. My digital camera is prima facie evidence for all my sins. For instance, I found a photo with this lovely girl. I could barely remember who she is, whate we talked about, what her name was, everything. I don’t remember ANYTHING. AT ALL.

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Look at how fat I am. All that fat on my face goes beyond my shirt collar. That’s how DESPERATE I am to lose weight.

I guess that’s what booze does to me. Feed me booze and I won’t remember anything the following day. Why bother with date rape drugs like rohypnol if you want to rape me when a couple of glasses of vodka will suffice?


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Hahahah. As if there’s anyone in this world who would want to rape my ugly, fat ass anyway.

Shit, nobody would rape me not even if I pay them top dollar! 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Today’s Obligatory Paparazzi Shot

My oh my, don’t I look sooo clean and fresh?

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After Cuisine/La Embajada, my firend and I went to Citrus for one last drink before heading home. I was soo drunk I decided to sleep over at her house.

Remember what I said back then about drunk dialling, drunk texting and how I should stayaway with any form of electronic gadget that allows communication with the outside world when I’m under the influence of alcohol? Click here AND here to read the stories.

Oh dear, I am so fucking embarassed. 

I checked my phone when I got up (both new messages AND messages that I sent… for potential damage control hahaha). Apparently I sent a several messages that said something like "I love you and I’m here at a friend’s place", "I miss you I wish you were here beside me.", "I could really do with your 10 inches right now." and "Oh my god I saw the slut last night and her jeans had a hole in the back I bet it was done in purpose cause she can’t have enough cock in her".

Guess what?

THEY ALL WENT TO THE WRONG PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!

Drunk texting is bad. Very bad. Having a shitload of people on your phone book with the same first names is even worse.

I’ve done this soo many times I think I should rename all the people in my phone book using code names like "Love in Edinborough" or "10-inch Fucker".

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To the person who said I should say the word "Tuesday" when having my photo taken, well, I tried it and clearly it didn’t work. I look like SHIT!!! hahahahahaha.

THANK GOD all the people who got the wrong text messages didn’t respond. Otherwise I wouldn’t know what to do… and I won’t have the face to show the next time we all see each other. Hahahahaha. If you’re one of them and if you’re reading this, please, please, please can we pretend it didn’t happen?

The good thing is, one of the people who got the wrong message lives all the way in fuckin Moscow (the message was intended for someone who lives in London) so it’s all good. Hahahaha!

That’s. I’m going straight to hell.

It’s breakfast time and it’s 5:06AM. I’m gonna make myself a cup of laxative tea, grab a couple of slices of watermelons and call one of my buddies on skype.

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Oh and there’s love straight from Germany!!!! Bryanboy loves you too baby!

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17 Comments

  1. Alissa

    The girl that you have been snapped with (the one you don’t remember anything about) is an Australian model, Illona (sp?)…
    She is absolutely stunning imo
    x Alissa

  2. Hey suga!
    I just read your post, I love yoru luxuriousness,
    I read here everyday hahaha, you already know who it is.
    You know, Dakota.. the one who has commented loads and sent a dumb photo of a mixed looking fuck face with a sign saying i love you and a star on the side?
    Anyway, Being drunk isn’t that too bad is it?
    Feeling the lust of the night, enjoying having no brain and dancing with people you don’t know, I guess it’s like another world.
    We’re all the sexy bitches of our 3rd world countries.
    Aotearoa is a 3rd world country., wouldn’t have thought so huh¿
    But it is, it’s a fucken shit hole!!!!
    Anyways bryany!
    Would you add me to msn some time?
    dakoath@hotmail.com
    I’ve been trying to get yoru msn add for like, forever~
    But I’d love to get to know u better!
    Anyway,
    I’m updating my blog today,
    It’s that fat white assed bitch (the queen of ENG) birthday today so we all get a public holiday, boo fucken who!
    I can’t stand that bitch, but wtf, she gave us all a day off mediocre education so, what the hell! enjoy it while you can huh?
    Ok bb!
    See u soon, on (my msn) I hope!
    I’d love to chat to u
    ok suga
    c u
    Dakota!!
    I LOVE BRYANBOY!
    http://tekoda.wordpress.com
    THE BLOG OF A DUMB TEEN WHORE BITCH THAT HAS A REAL SUPERFICIAL VIEW POINT OF LIFE, FREE SEX,
    FREE PHOTO’S AND FREE ME!
    BUT NO FREE BRAIN, cuz i don’t have one.

  3. Andrea

    I love you bryanboy along with your handbag collection!!!
    lots of love from plano, tx

  4. Love your get-up, very clean-cut and polished! You look really good in straight cut trousers.

  5. Remember that skull thing you want on your Goyard? I asked Harvey Nichols about it and its better to have it done in France than through them. They said they as much as possible only customize the initial and simple graphics.

  6. your eyebrows look atrocious
    other then that though nice job

  7. no boys in singapore. unless you fancy a fling with the american sailors!

  8. Ilona first landed here in Manila to model for the Rustan’s Summer and Holiday 2005 ad campaigns. He’s a friend of Australian lensman Darren Tieste who also shot the same campaigns.

  9. Firdaus

    Who says Singapore doesn’t have boys?! It’s only that you should know where to find them. I suggest that you visit sgboy.com to find those boys.

  10. dakota its not fair I live in england and the old hag didnt give us brits a day off. england sucks, i need to move to the fab thirld world

  11. MIAMI

    hey there chicano!! just dropping by to say how GROSS and tacky you are!! ok so the b bag totally great but not on you! your really brown and your peach fuzz growing on your top lip really grosses me out.. ummm your a nasty lil manorexic and you wanna go on a diet?? you already look 12 years old how many petifiles do you want to attract exactly? ok get over yourself cause,,, your ugly as my shit **xoxo** enjoy your loser life

  12. MIAMI

    hey im just stopping by to say how GROSS and tacky you are i mean do you follow menswear at all or are you just a gross lil cross dresser! your brown lips gross me out they look like youve been eating shit all day which i think you have…. your nasty eww you remind me of the people who cut my grass say i am looking for a new one how does thursday sound??
    xoxo,
    get over yourself

  13. Who are you to talk of ugly Americans? Clean my house you asian trash. YOU MOMMA SMELLS LIKE PLEDGE.
    GO BACK AND EAT DOGS AND LIVE IN TIN HUTS.CRACK HO.

  14. hey bryan,
    cool to find another bulimic dude! =) i’m one from singapore.
    all da best for slimming down! *fat tub ryan has 10kg to lose to goal weight too!*
    hungry guy ryan

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