Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax: "IT'S NOT A ZIT BRYAN, IT'S FOLLICULITIS!" and MOFFATTS' SWEATY PITS
Bryanboy Loves... and Random Cheesemax
#1- Bryanboy loves people from Tallinn, Estonia, Milan, Italy, San Juan, Puerto Rico, Vienna, Austria, Lackarebäck, Sweden, Gav, Cataluna, Spain, Zoetermeer, Netherlands, Copenhagen, Denmark, Vincennes, France, Taipei, Taiwan and of course, all the fabulous people of Rimini, Italy. I love each and every one of you, especially DJ Kylie SteptaCular from Classic Club in Rimini, who recently emailed me a photo of him doing the infamous Bryanboy pose with the same Fendi B bag as I have. I LOVE IT... and I LOVE YOU TOO!
Hey Mr DJ, put the record on and please pimp my website to everyone in the club! I want lots of people from Rimini, Italy to go to my site and email me pictures of them doing the pose or holding the "I LOVE BRYANBOY" sign. Hahaha!
#2 - I promised my tai tai friend, Mrs. T. that I'll make this girl famous so KEYS ME. I don't know who the fuckin hell she is but she can give Bai Ling a run for her money. I still prefer Bai over this prostitute though. Nevertheless, this bitch is hilarious. I LOVE HER!!!!!!!!!!!! I almost shat my pants when Mrs. T. gave me the link to the video. My English is not by all means perfect but man... this is something else.
#3 - Kate Moss is painfully chic it's not even funny anymore. The first photo is dedicated to my friend who owns this gorgeous croc Kelly bag. You know who you are. YOU BETTER USE IT THE NEXT TIME WE HAVE LUNCH AND FOR THE LIFE OF GOD PLEASE DON'T SELL IT! GIVE IT TO ME!
Photo credit: Celebworld.org
I had the opportunity to buy this black croc Kelly bag the other day and I backed out. I've spent so much money on shit the past several months if I buy the bag I'm gonna have to declare bankruptcy and hibernate in a convent long... very long time. It really sucks being poor. I HATE BEING POOR!!!!! The thought of having to think about something before buying it is the worst feeling in the world! It's like a blow to my pretentious ego.
Photo credit: Celebworld.org
I was chatting to my fuck buddy in Paris the other day... what an asshole, that man. the French sure do know how to insult someone.
BryanBoy: buy me a new hermes bag :)
Zageurope: im sure you can do that for u
BryanBoy: no but i want it to come from you. that's why it's called a "gift" god dammit.
Zageurope: a gift is whenn u do not expect... if u ask it is only from ur parents or sugar daddy
BryanBoy: C'est une blague ou quoi? Vous pouvez être chaud mais le sexe n'est pas grand
BryanBoy: i want an 'expected' gift
BryanBoy: i want a sugar daddy god dammit
Zageurope: lol i would hate to be sugar daddy for me and for you too lol
BryanBoy: and why is that? i'm not too expensive
Zageurope: yes you are and not a matter of money but education.... look like bad kid always want something.... not good for ur education and future LOL u gonna turn bad ;) just work, get money and buy what u want ;)that is the best...
BryanBoy: i need a job but i suck when it comes to work. i think my destiny is to become a prostitute. at least all i have to do is have sex and get paid for it. hahahahaha! isn't it the easiest job in the world?
Photo credit: Celebworld.org
Zageurope: i had to work like crazy last 5 years just to get a descent salary and go abroad;)
Zageurope: yeah need to like what u are doing... u should go to work in Hermes shop or other clothes shop or be a personal shopping assistant. Something u are good at even if not enough money, at least get use to work again and get energy from something you like.
BryanBoy: that is sad i don't want to be a shop assistant. I'M THE ONE WHO GOES SHOPPING GOD DAMMIT NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. it's an insult to my dignity!
Zageurope: yes if u have some stupid snob attitude u wont get there ;) first thing to work u need is humility ;) coz u cannot be the best and the love one..;) as u need to learn and work hard
What an asshole eh? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Anyway.
Kate Moss may be nouveaux riche but fuck she looks pretty compared to some of the old-moneyed bimbos out there. What can I say... Kate is Kate! I'm totally digging her Mulberry Bayswater bag.
#4 - I want a nose job and a chin implant ASAP. Isn't Paris pretty?
Photo credit: Celebworld.org
If Ashley Simpson can do it, so can I. I'm soo scared though. I think my next procedure would be laser hair removal. I wanna get rid of my facial hair. I am increasingly finding it hard to shave once a week and the stubble on my upper neck/on my jawline is killing me! My doctor once told me "IT'S NOT A ZIT BRYAN, IT'S FOLLICULITIS!" Ugh!!!! It's a shame cause I ocassionally wonder what I'd look like if I don't shave for a couple of weeks and grow stubble ALL OVER MY FACE. I *DO* wanna look like a real man for a change, instead of being the permanent chink twink that I am now. I guess I'm not ready to get rid of the only trace of masculinity left in my body.
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Please support my sponsor and buy something from them. Bling, bling it on bitches!
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People often ask me why don't I just spare myself and get a sex change.
Look, if I can't even get myself go through laser hair removal, how can I possibly get rid of my cock (which I like anyway)?
#5 - HAHAHAHAHA! LOOK AT THAT FAT ASS BEHIND LINDSAY AND THE LOOK ON HER FACE.
#6 - Random Cheesemax on the net
- Jennifer Maniston's face looks awful. Is she fat or did she get sperminated. You decide. [PerezHilton]
- Hilary Duff produced a line of clothing. Big deal. According to her, "they wanted to make clothes that look like they're for older kids but they fit the younger kids". [British Vogue]
Oh please. That doesn't make any sense at all. Why buy clothes made for adults instead? Anyway, most kids are so fat and hideously ugly these days they need to lose weight. If they lost weight they can fit into smaller-sized adult clothes. Case in point: me.
I WANNA BE A SIZE ZERO AGAIN!!!! *WEEPS* - The world's prettiest baby with the ugliest name ever makes People Magazine and Getty Images read blogs. [A Socialite's Life]
- Isn't it amazing how Natalie Portman can manage to roam around Paris like a normal person, with no bodyguards, no entourage, no nothing. Solo flight galore, just like me. [Celebworld]
Don't you just LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE jealous and envious people? I've always said jealousy and envy breeds malice and contempt. It's always the envious ones who have something negative to say. Take a look at fugly Charlotte Church, who is dripping with envy because of Paris' budding career in pop music. CHARLOTTE CHURCH, ever thought of firing your stylist and losing weight? There is nothing worse in this world than a fat cow dressed in see-through fuschia and stonewashed Jordache jeans from the 80s.
"Everyone to their own but it's not like she needs the money."
HAHAHAHAHAHAH! Classic. [OhNoTheyDidn't]- Prima-facie evidence that the only people Manila attracts are folks who are wayyyyyy past their 15 minutes of fame. The Moffatts are back in town and they even went to my usual haunt, Cuisine at La Embajada, sweaty armpits and all. One of the girls even said that some Moffatt guy wore the same t-shirt 2 DAYS IN A ROW. I wonder what his sweaty pits smells like. I don't blame him. Sweaty betties of the world UNITE! But for the life of god, please change clothes. Or use extra strength antiperspirant. [Lunar Delirium]
- FUCK IT! I WAS GONNA BUY THOSE TSUBI SUNGLASSES AT ALOHA RAG BUT NOW THEY'RE SOLD OUT! I WANT THOSE SUNGLASSES GOD DAMMIT! If you're in Australia and if you can get hold of these sunglasses, please contact me so I can send you money to buy me these sunglasses. UGH! I destroyed my Dior Glossy sunglasses and I just ordered another pair but I won't get it for another 1-2 weeks because of the slow boat to the third world.
- FASHION MUST-BUY *NOW*: PATRICIA VON MOSULIN BANGLES. Gorgeous mother fuckers.
Photo Credit: American Vogue
I couldn't find those clear bangles online but I saw Patricia Von Mosulin's "Noodle" cuff bracelet at Vivre.com for US$495 apiece. Must. Buy. NOW!
- I love Wikipedia'sentry about age fabrication. I love how I learn something new every day, thanks to the wonders of the internet. [Wikipedia]
#7 - Please support the following sponsors. I know you all hate ads but these people pay my bills.
Oh oh oh oh oh. More love from all over the place... keep them coming you fuckin maggots.
... big shout out to the motherfuckers at Purdue University who loves me....
and of course, the skinny guy from Argentina is back with a Bryanboy pose in tow. NOTE TO SELF/OTHER FAT MOTHER FUCKERS OUT THERE: THIS IS THINSPIRATION. Print this image and stick it on your fridge...
I think that's all for now. I have some shopping and retail therapy to do. I need clothes god dammit! You people (calling all designers out there who want publicity via my blog where people around the world can see your creations) should be bombarding me with free clothes... HAHAHAHAHHAA
As always, you all know how to get hold of me. Email bryanboy@gmail.com or SMS +63.915.785.1492. If you have emailed me the past few days and you haven't received a response from me, please resend your email to that address.
I love you all!
