Bryanboy At His Rawest
People seem to have this impression that everything about me is fabulous. I don’t blame them because that’s the image I project: my life is fabulous, I love beautiful things, I drool over beautiful people, I go to nice places etc. Flaunt it cause you have it. Show it while you have it. Work it like you own it. Fake it till you make it. I dress like a princess but in reality I’m just a pauper.
In the past few months I’ve received no less than a dozen emails from people (shit, I dropped my cigarette on my crotch as I typed that sentence) with questions like "what does Bryanboy wear when he’s at home?" etc. I also get compliments from many, many people complimenting me about my skin, which I don’t really understand cause I have terrible, terrible awful skin. Hah!
It’s Monday afternoon and I just got up less than an hour ago. I’m dead bored so I figured, why not surprise you lot with what the OTHER SIDE of BRYAN looks like.
Take note of all that excess flesh… now you know why I’m promoting my watermelon diet… oh and all that stubble on my face. You probably don’t see it now but you will, later.
Anyway, all I wear at home is a plain ol tee and boxers. It’s all about comfort clothes here. No juicy couture sweats whatsoever. Sometimes I’d even roam around the house wearing nothing but some y-front briefs on.
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Now, If the image above isn’t shocking enough, the photo you are about to see will HAUNT you for the rest of your life and change the way you think of me — Le Superstar Fabuleux my fuckin asshole.
You see, every time I go to my dermatologist’s clinic for a procedure, whether it be a glycopeel cleaning/extraction facial, powerpeel/microdermabrasion, oxygen treatments whatever, they always pull my file folder and record all of the procedures they’ve done to me. Even all the lipodissolve sessions that I had last year.
Every time my facialist jots down whatever she just did to me, I feel this sense of… I don’t know. I just feel different.
Because a little over 3 years ago, I looked like this.
Isn’t that repulsive? My face back then was revolting and atrocious… It actually wasn’t *that* bad. I had a lot of zits but it got worse when I used that Proactiv shit that all these stars are pulling. My face got all discolored and burned. Proactiv was the worst I ever did to myself.
My dermatologist prescribed me this life-saving skincare regimen called OBAGI. Obagi is the reason why I haven’t committed suicide. Obagi pretty much saved my life!
Even that Melissa girl from MTV’s The Real World whatever did Obagi last year, courtesy of me. Click here to read her blog post called "UGLIEST FACE EVER".
Look Ma… no, makeup!
Remember how I did that Faggotry in Motion 3 video? Click here to read the blog post. I didn’t wear any makeup whatsoever. Hell, why should I wear makeup when I’m just going to the gas station and my gran’s?
Anyway, to keep my skin in control, here’s what I do TWICE a day.
When I get up and before going to sleep, regardless of the time of the day, I wash my face for 30-45 seconds with Obagi Foaming Gel Cleanser. I love it. The entire bottle lasts for a good 4-6 months, depends on how you use it. It smells soo good and one drop is all you need.
Then I tone my face with Obagi TE-Pads. These little pads contain salicylic acid. It controls skin breakouts, oiliness, smoothes complexion and create that "healthy" glow. I like that "healthy" glow. Some people mistake it as "greasy" or whatever. I don’t use the Obagi Toner because it’s for people with normal skin. My skin gets oily sometimes hence the TE-Pads.
I usually wait for 2-3 minutes until my face dries up then I use Obagi Clear. It’s a rich cream that lightens dark areas such as freckles, acne marks, skin discolorations, age and liver spots. It contains 4% hydroquinone. This is one of the "key" ingredients of the Obagi system. It erased all traces of my atrocious acne-infested past off my face. Literally.
The last step in this skin care regimen is Obagi Exfoderm. This cream is a specially-designed exfoliating lotion which helps smooth and tone rough or damaged skin. This is the hardcore stuff that will peel all your dead skin cells etc. One of the disadvantages of Obagi is the peeling bit… when your face peel all that shit, it means the system is working. If you’ve been using Obagi for a long time (like me), you won’t peel as often anymore. In fact, there are times when I’d use a shitload of exfoderm stuff just to peel. Peeling = skin reborn.
And there you have it!
There’s a separate regimen for night (or before I go to bed). Basically I don’t use Exfoderm anymore and I use another product called Obagi Blender instead. I mix this cream with another cream that my dermatologist gave me, which is retinoin or vitamin-a something something whatever. I swear to god it smells soooo bad, like rotten eggs, but it keeps my skin good. :)
All that effort just to have nice skin eh?
I’ve been using Obagi for a good 3 years now and I have NO complaints. Let me be the one to tell you I wasn’t born with flawless skin. It’s amazing what modern science can do these days.
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And for the life of god don’t believe all that bullshit crap you see at department stores, pharmacies even those Proactiv informercials.
Anyway, there’s still definitely more work that needs to be done on my face, i.e. I need a nose job, a chin implant, cheek implant, buccal fat removal (I want that ‘gaunt’ look) but whatever. It’s just funny how I always get people telling me I have good skin when in reality I don’t. I’m quite flattered though, considering there are other people out there with even better skin than me.
Anyway, it’s knock-knock cliche time.
Inner beauty trumps good skin or bad skin anytime.
Case in point: ME!
When I was a spotty "younger adult", I had so much sex left and right with guys. Whereas now that I’m a "young adult", the last time I saw/touch/felt a real human live cock was back in December 27, 2005 at Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris!
Shit, the closest to sex that I get these days are images of love from people in California.
Maybe back then I was a nice and sweet person with tons of "inner beauty" bullshit and now that I’m a tad prettier, I turned into this mean, nasty, devious, vapid, vacuous, shallow, materialistic little son of a bitch.
Well, let’s be honest for god’s sake.
Would you rather be nice but ugly or mean but pretty?
If I were you, I’d pick the latter.
In fact, I have this photo as my desktop wallpaper.
Nobody in this planet deserves to look like that monstrosity.
I get my Obagi here in the Philippines at my dermatologists at Belo but you can also get it online (cheaper, too) by visiting Greatskin.
I love you all. Email firstname.lastname@example.org or SMS +63.915.785.1492.