I've Been FARKED… Meet Fophey

Written By bryanboy

I’ve Been FARKED… and you too.

First things first, I’d like to give a big shout out to more than 15,914 (and growing) individuals who visited my website in the past 18 hours coming from Fark.com. I love each and every one of you.

All ya gotta do is fall in line and wait for your turn… sloppy seconds galore.

I’m working on Podcast #006 (I know, I know and if you haven’t subscribed yet, be sure to do so by visiting http://www.bryanboy.com/podcast cause I’m about to release it shortly).

Meet FOPHEY, aka Chris Chapman from Richmond, Virginia.

052106_fophey2 

"Fophey" also knows as "Fopher" in other cultures emailed me sometime today telling me how much he loves me.

052106_vanity

It’s been quite awhile since I bashed someone on my website and now is the perfect time to unleash some good ol vitriol that’s running through my veins.

052106_fophey

Click here to view his MySpace account.

I have to give him props for for having the balls to send me such lovely email. It’s refreshing and different from all the usual ass-licking and sugarcoating crap that I get on a daily basis.

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But boy he’s got some nerve. It never ceases to amaze how some of these geeks from Pluto talk as if they’re hot shit Adonis from Greece. Heck, I’m a geek myself but you certainly won’t see me trash it up on a trailer park. I’m ugly alright. But this guy is wayyyyyy uglier than me.

Like Anna Wintour said, the best way to keep your influence is by exercising it.

I told Fophey on my response earlier…. it’s ok to be envious. It’s ok for him jealous of me. I was BORN to make you feel absolutely bad about himself and that’s exactly what I have achieved, looking at his email.

Besides, what’s wrong with Vanity anyway?

Vanity exists so we won’t wear long-sleeved tie-dyed t-shirts circa 1970s with frayed white denim jeans and pose like a faggot in some bumfuck forest in middle of nowhere North America.

Bitch, learn how to pay your respect to the QUEEN BEE OF FAGGOTRY

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because….

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I swear to god, I am soooo gonna get gay bashed by my fellow fags at one point in my life. This is exactly why gay people hate me… I give them a bad name!! It’s not my fault though. They’re the ones who are bad themselves.

I’m kidding. When shit hits the fan, all you gotta do is fight back.

I love you all. Email bryan@bryanboy.com or SMS +63.915.785.1492. Subscribe to my podcast bitches (www.bryanboy.com/podcast) and say hello to my on my forums.

Baboosh_3

PS. Discuss this blog post here.

52 Comments

  1. LuvsBryanBoy

    Wasn’t he Beavis and Butthead’s teacher? And he’s found a perfect mate in the Mayim Bialik (“Blossom”) http://kalamazoothemovie.com/SiteImages/cast/Mayim-Bialik.jpg
    These 2 should not have kids. There won’t be enough jokes to go around. Haters….
    BryanBoy, you know you’re gorgeous and quite famous, despite what that gutter punk thinks. Baboosh!!

  2. Castleexplorer

    Hey Bryanboy, I absolutely LOVE your blog. I’m a Farkett and checked it out yesterday. I read a LOT of your entries when I should’ve been doing something else. :)
    You remind me of my cousin’s ex-boyfriend. He wasn’t as feminine as you are or as cute. I sent the link to my cousin so he could check you out. Anyway, I love your materialistic and bitchy ways. I get to live vicariously through you. (My sister has a keychain that says, “I may be a bitch but I’m the pick of the litter.” I think you need one, too.) :)
    As for Chris (and every bigot like him) almost any psychologist or psychiatrist will tell you that the more homophobic a man is, the more the likelihood that he is a latent homosexual who is too afraid to live the lifestyle you are living. When they see you, it reminds them either consciously or unconsciously that you are what they want to be. (Although I don’t think that any one of them would look as good as you do carrying a purse.) Oh and Chris, I eat uncooked food, too. Fruits, vegetables, sushi….all of those are uncooked foods. I know that some people are ignorant but haters like you are at the top of the list. In reference to “didn’t you get enough love in high school”. OMG, I wouldn’t have touched you with a hundred foot pole. High school “love” isn’t as important as familial love, and Bryanboy definitely has that. (Read his blog and cry because your Momma doesn’t love you as much as Bryanboy’s loves him.)
    Back to you, Bryanboy, because it IS all about you…this blog is now one of my favorites. You are so much bitchier than my sister, and that is an awesome compliment to you.
    Thanks for letting me take a peek into your world. I’ll definitely be back.

  3. HAHA omg i was about to go to sleep because im sooo jetlagged (im baack!! see you this weekend) but i had to comment and say, WTF he looks like a peta-loving hippie. THAT IS ALL. xxxx j

  4. Castleexplorer

    Okay, I have to comment again…are you SURE that Virginia boy is just sitting on the stump and not using it as an outdoor “privy” ?!?!?
    Also in response to LuvsBryanBoy’s post:
    I don’t think that “Blossom” is his mate. You can tell by the body language that it is probably his sister….oh wait, in his part of the woods, wife/sister is all the same. (Now I KNOW I’m going to hell but it’s alright because all of my friends will be there, too.)
    Oooooooooooo Chris, I forgot to mention, I sometimes eat uncooked Poptarts!!! Call the food police!!! Oh wait, you can’t, they’d arrest you for eating squirrels and roadkill.

  5. There is nothing wrong with spending your money whichever way you like and to think that he is not even on par with you to even have say, he should really worry about his own sense of style & face instead. I checked his myspace out, and watching porn is a sin as well, so who is he to preach?

  6. HateFuglies

    Darling, you dont have to worry at all about this Fophey ek ek. HE”S FUGLY! even that girl with him looks like white trash too. and where the heck are they located? Looks like from the set of “The Hills have Eyes” or “Evil Dead”. Defintely lower species than K-Fed trash.

  7. Landon

    did anyone notice the girl’s foot in this picture??? ummmm… it’s fucking disgusting.

  8. LOL. Why do you even waste your time communicating with trailer park trash? I mean look at him? In the immortal words of Hannibal Lecter, he’s obviously “one generation removed from poor white trash”. And he lives in Virginia, for heaven’s sakes. LOL. Too funny.

  9. Indiepunk

    What is it with that first photo? He looks camper than Quentin Crisp. For sure he’s a trailer trash fag who can’t afford the mink!
    Indiepunk. xx

  10. sexy purny

    that Chris Chapman is ugliest person i have ever seen in my whole life…ok i will throw up now…

  11. what a creep. he gives me the hibby jibbies. your new phrase should be “don’t hate me cause i’m beautiful”.

  12. jaded

    oh wow!chris got served! haha don’t mind haters like him. i love you bryan!!

  13. he’s gross. and that girl’s foot is gross. don’t waste ur time on trash. keep on spreading the faggotry! we can’t get enough of it :)

  14. Actually

    Actually, why do people that criticize you have to be jealous of you?
    You know, if you analyze what he said about the people around you liking you for what you’re about to pay them but in reality not liking you at all, that does sound like a strong possibility. This guy was mostly criticizing you for your extreme self-absorbtion rather than your physical ugliness.

  15. worker bee

    fophey makes me want to crawl back into the closet and lock myself in there forever. uggo.
    i’ll take the queen bee of faggotry anyday.

  16. ongina

    yes. i hate bryanboy. but i hate him with passion. i hate him because he has shit i can’t afford. he does things i haven’t. and he has the ego of a fucking lion and he exudes vanity to its fullest.
    BUT I FUCKING LOVE IT.!!!I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT.
    i can’t handle it but i’m not going to bash it because frankly, i love that he has to balls to do what he wants without feeling remorse and i congratulate bryanboy for achieveing what he wants as far as making little faggots like chris chapman feel really bad about themselves because, frankly, chris chapman is nothing but the shit i let out last night and flushed down the toilet.
    WORK IT OUT MS. BRYANBOY. WORK IT OUT.
    LOVE FROM NYC. ONGINA IS RYAN IS ONGINA.
    MUAH.

  17. i hate bryanboy. i hate him with envy. yes. i’ll admit it. only because i want what he has and i can’t afford. i want a white doctors goyard bag. i want to travel to paris with a damier print louis vuitton trunk, i want to frolick the city with excessive accesories and bring dramatic new heights to faggotry and feel no remorse about it. ms. bryan boy has done this. and
    I FUCKING LOVE HIM FOR IT. I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT.
    bryanboy has definitely achieved making people feel bad about themselves. and if you can’t handle it…then shut the fuck up. this goes for chris in virginia who looks like shit i flushed down the toilet this afternoon after a mexican meal.
    i love that bryanboy exudes the ego of a lion and does not feel any remorse about it.
    WORK IT OUT FAGGOT AND WORK IT OUT FIERCELY. YOU ARE DEFINITELY THE QUEEN BEE OF FAGGOTRY AND I ADMIRE IT.
    WORK.

  18. Can’t please everyone, sweetie. The fact remains that he’s a 19-yr-old, white-trash boy, who’s had “some college”, married / or is related to the sister of Frodo (check out that foot), who claims to be bi, yet preaches that vanity is a sin, who lives in the woods by the way — so very Frodo Baggins. He’s just as scruffy as Frodo’s foot. Ha! Ha! Maybe you can sell one of your fab bags and send him the money to afford him a nice haircut and a shave or a ticket to get him out of the woods perhaps? hehehe…. But that’s too charitable. Anyway, you still make most of your readers amused, entertained and glued to the chronicles of your colorful existence, and that’s what’s important. CHEERS!

  19. Tinkerbell <3

    Wow. Doesn’t he have anything better to do with his time? Who the hell does he think he is? Weirdo much. Psssssssh.
    *Bryanboy: Tama lang yung sinagot mo sa siraulong yun. Selos lang yun malamang dahil mukha syang paa ng taga-bundok, tas ikaw mukhang diyosa. HAHAHA!*

  20. Oh wow this is just too great. Yea, I’m that guy who said that shit and frankly I just love this attention. Anyways, the only reason I’m posting this is because I felt like being an extra-large asshole and taking all your emails (except for that one guy who actually got the point of what I meant) and signing you up for “gay anorexic faggot mailing lists”. So I searched those exact words on Google.
    Bryanboy was the first hit on the search.
    I’m positive this will never get posted, but if google says it must be true, well, shit.
    Suck it like you know you do Bryan.

  21. vemsan

    ganyan talaga mga “puti” inggitero’t inggitera… puro “bashing” lang ang alam. palibhasa di nakatuntong sa kolehiyo at di pa nakakalabas ng sarili nilang bansa…. hahahaha
    at oo ang panget nya pramis!

  22. JOEMAMMA

    oooooooo, there are so many fuckin haters out here these days. it’s a shame really. bryanboy is not hurting anyone. if you don’t like what he has to say, stop fuckin looking at the site then. don’t write dumb e-mails and comments to him thinkin that if you bash him or tell him he’s a horrible person, shit is gonna change the situation, cuz it won’t. bryanboy will still be prettier than you and u’ll still be jealous and dumb and continue to look at the site and be mad. everybody needs to take a breather and relax. live your life or get a new one or something bryanboy…i have ur back. do your thing cuz u do it well…good night, bitches.

  23. Madam Rouge

    That guy looks like he just crawled out of a trash can, and that girl looks like she has a serious case of club foot. Oh yeah and that IS a trailer they are living in I can tell by the way the walls look. LMAO

  24. i bet you never tire of reading/hearing this: bryanboy i just lurve you to pieces!!!

  25. jutrong

    maybe because the girl he is with is so damn ugly compared to the ones you are related/friends with…jealousy galore!! haha..man, he is soo UGLY and TRashy poor..he should just shut up and go save trees rather than sitting on one & wasting his time googling about you, bryanboy!

  26. GOD!
    PALLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE!!!
    MR WHAT EVER HIS NAME IS, IS A TOTAL TRASH BAG!
    LOOK AT HIS OPPORTUNITY SHOP CLOTHES AND HIS “IM FROM SPACE” FACE DO!
    HE’S SUCH A GEEK, NO WONDER HE GOES AROUND THE INTERNET PICKING ON PPL! HE SHOULD JUST GETA GRIP,
    AND HEY WHATS SO BAD ABOUT BEING VAIN, BETTER THEN NOT HAVING PRIDE IN YOUR SELF!!!!!!!!
    LIKE COMMON! THAT WEIRDOW LOOKS LIKE HE OBVIOUSLY DOESNT CARE ABOUT vanity YOU CAN SEE IT IN HIS PHOTOS!
    P.S YOUR CAMERA SUCKS YOU NORTHAMERICAN WEIRDOW! YOU SO NEED A NEW 1
    FROM
    DAKOTA
    http://tekoda.wordpress.com

  27. naught

    hahahahaha!!! nabasa ko ung comment nung fophey na yan…
    dama nya! harharharhar!!
    kung nagawa siyang pag-usapan gaya ng sinasabi nya, e di rin naman ganun kahirap burahin siya sa balat ng blog na ito. hahahaha!!
    magtagalog na lang ako dito kahit na alam kong maraming forenjer ba. hahrarharharhar!!!

  28. humps

    taray naman ng school uniform mo. with dangling medals. honor student ka pala…i thought u only have 2 brain cells

  29. Fuckphey is just fucked up. He hates you but decided to waste his minutes writing you a hate mail. You should look at this positively I mean you are so great that you make the people who hate you obsessed with you enough to write you an email. That should count for something don’t you think??
    If I were a fag I would love to be like you. I don’t know how you people do it take it so calmly. Us girls will just snap.
    Keep up the faggotry, Bryan.
    A fan from your SEAsia neighbour, Thailand.

  30. i was trying to look for the girl’s foot, and yeah i did see it, right smack on her chest. first reaction: that’s a foot? it looks like baseball mitts, or some swollen something that’s been bitten by some 300 bees. disgucting.
    you only have to listen to the leathery voice (pun intended) of your goyard, lv, chanel and hermes handbags, and not of some trailer park trash who thinks holding a cellphone can put him in the same league as you are.
    i love bryanboy!

  31. missjay

    I DON’T GET IT. I DIDN’T WASTE MY PRECIOUS TIME READING HIS FORUMS. IS HE GAY OR HOMOPHOPIC?
    IF HE’S NOT GAY, YOU GOTTA BE F*CKING KIDDING ME.
    HE’S THE GAYEST OF THEM ALL. GAY! GAY! GAY! MY GAYDAR IS GOING WILD WHEN I SAW HIS PICS.
    HE SWEATS CHEAP GLITTERS.
    AND MY GOD, THE NERVE OF THAT GUY TO USE THE WORD “UGLY” …… HE IS THE EPITOME OF UGLINESS. I WOULDN’T DARE SLEEP WITH THAT GUY EVEN IF YOU PAY ME HALF OF FRANCE!
    I BET HIS UNSHAVED CR*TCH SMELLS LIKE POOP … AND HE IS LIVING ON THE MERCY OF HIS CHEAP GOOGLE ANDSENSE CLICKS!
    HE’S FUCKING UGLY I CANT STAND IT. JEEZZZZ.

  32. We should all email him and fill his mailbox with spam of Gay Porn, that would teach him a good lesson…
    What you all think?

  33. Angela

    Chris Chapman is as ugly as they come,and that dog-like,crusty foot broad sitting on that nasty couch with him looks like Alan Cumming.

  34. Yeah, I’m sot sure what that douche is making fun of. He’s got a fucking ridiculous Myspace page. So, not only is he ugly, he’s a loser, too.
    Bryan, I know that you’re hurting on the inside. It’s ok to talk about it.

  35. jealousy is an ugly, ugly, thing and it wears white jeans. BB you are fabulouso and we all know it including him.

  36. he is probably jsut a homophobe or something.ew. he reminds me of oscar the grouch.eggghhh.

  37. Georgiapeach

    I cursed that bitch out myspace style Bryanboy. I told him that his sexuality was probably always questioned, while he is trying to talk about homosexuality and all that other stuff. He called himself snapping on me, by calling me fat. I had to let his ugly ass know, that down here, this fat is fine. So he can go try that on another person, because that shit didn’t move anything over here. He is so damn lame, with his young ass. Fuck that weak ass bitch. He didn’t know what the hell he was getting himself into. We showed that punk bitch was what up1

  38. Georgiapeach

    Look at that bitch foot he is with? They don’t even wear shoes wear he lives!! Hell naw, his country ass! Talk about third world! They sleep with their cousins where he lives. That’s he cousin he is feeling up!! EEEEWWWW!

  39. Ugh. When was the last time that guy took a bath? He has T-R-A-S-H wriiten all over him. Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! Poor guy.
    You go Bryan. Never mind the haters.

  40. audrey

    Whenever I go online, one of the things I never fail to read/visit is bryanboy.com.
    I was reading this article, and checked myspace & fark forum etc, and I do feel feel angry towards those people who think they can critisize someone’s blog & the bloggers’ personality by setting up ‘mini-forums’ or sending hate mails.
    A blog is just a blog. It is about someone’s life or writing, and if people out there don’t like it, then just GET OVER IT.It’s like a book.If you don’t like it, don’t buy it. but someone else will. if you have nothing better to do online,go read ft.com or something.
    Everyone has a right to be whoever they want to be, and no one is ‘perfect’ enough to be judgemental.
    Bryanboy, eventhough my religion is against gay ppl, I still do love your blog. Just because you are funny and have some guts to pull off those clothes. So what if ppl think you are spoiled by eating sushi or going to salon? A lot more other ppl do it, so why aim your ammo at bryanboy? Why don’t they set up a hate forum for j-lo instead?
    Bryanboy, I really love your writings & the way you have kept your cool online. Seriously, those ppl are ugly inside & out.

  41. Michan

    This blog is pretty funky :) I’ll be reading this more often…

  42. Guinevere

    oh poo, i glanced at the photo and thought your entry was going to mention elton john or something.

  43. Sunshine

    Oh…Fophey seems to have too much time (and anger) on his hands. =( I mean, to spend that much time and effort to write you all that sh*t?! He’s got some serious issues with himself! =( And duh?!? We are free to decide which blogs to view and he hates you that much, then all he’s got to do is NOT read your blog right?! Geezzz… what a dork! I just started reading your blogs last month and I just thought Fophey was just tooo harsh… to be writing you (his fellow faggot) such a mean email. =(

  44. bughugegunz

    Being white doesn’t always mean you look good, and always remember this “Ygly people don’t have the right to BITCH!”

  45. biankita

    better a third world faggot than white trash.
    and it that his girlfriend??? she’d be a hobbit with that foot!!!

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