Long, Hot Summer
Remember how I recently complained on how I *NEVER* get free trips?
Well, I got my first ever "free" vacation without paying a single dime on BOTH the airfare and hotel accommodations.
I just got back yesterday morning from a wonderful weekend in Boracay Island, one of my favourite islands here in the third world. The Local Government of Malay, Aklan and SEA Air sent over 120 members of the press, local designers, models and celebrities for a weekend of food, fun and frolics. SEA Air flies several dozen times daily from Manila – the fastest way to go to the island… 35 minutes! I stayed at the Pearl of Pacific resort.
Speaking of summer, it was sooo hot in the island I was sweating VODKA round the clock. I swear to my grandmother’s grave that vodka overflowed the mother fuckin island… the more I drink, the more I sweat. I pretty much got intoxicated each and every night I was there. In fact, I got back to my old drunk dialling habits; I drunk-dialled some of my girlfriends in Manila (and all over the place) at friggin 4 in the morning. I got soooo hammered one night and I rang some of my friends whilst running on the beach on the way back to the hotel at dawn – alone and drunk. Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In spite of being on the island for 4 days, I only managed to swim once and sunbathe for about 10 minutes! I’ll definitely come back though (soon) and enjoy what the island really has to offer, sea, sun and sand, amongst other things, with very close friends and/or family.
P.S. Boys and girls, you gotta check out that new place called Asya Resort. It’s sooo GORGEOUS! All of their chic guestrooms are decorated in a modern manner and the bathrooms are extremely spacious. I love that resort and I’ll most definitely stay there the next time I’m back in the island.
What’s up with the abundance of guys emailing me recently?
From NYC to California, I’ve been getting a lot of emails (and pictures that can give any random dirty old pundit a hard on without using viagra) from all these guys recently.
For the life of god, just get a bloody plane ticket and come visit me here in the third world/Las Islas Filipinas! You know who you are. Plane tickets are cheap and I’ll give you a lovey lovey good time!
Meet Jose Luis from Mexico.
As always, you know where to send your love. Hold a bloody sign that shows you love me or do my infamous pose. Email firstname.lastname@example.org.
Big shout out to Kimberlycun of Kuala Lumpur, malaysia. Gorgeous, gorgeous gal.
Bryanboy Loves… and Random Cheesemax
#1 – Bryanboy loves people from Quinta De Verdelha, Lisboa Portugal, Palo Alto, CA, New Haven, CT, Elmira, NY, Pinellas Park, FL, Oldtown, Dublin Ireland, Ottawa, ONT Canada, Valus, Chihuahua Mexico, Kalmar, Sweden, Guadalajara, Jalisco Mexico, Santiago, Region Metropolitana Chile, Poitiers, Poitou-Charentes France and of course, all the fabulous people in Montreal, Quebec Canada. I love each and every one of you. Say hi mother fuckers and don’t be shy.
#2 – I hate it. I really fuckin hate it. I’ve only had my video ipod for less than a month and I’ve lost it for some strange reason. I went on vacation with my old 20GB ipod. Jesus. Now I have no choice but to buy another one. It sucks.
#3 -Nicole Richie is gorgeous. FUCKING gorgeous. I really LOVE her transformation. In the past 3 years she’s gone from that cheap fat ugly heroin-addicted bitch with nasty hair extensions to the glamorous, gorgeous bullemic character she is now. Soooo chic! I love everything about her; look at her limbs, her tan, her shoes, her features. Gorgeous. Fuckin GORGEOUS!
Oh. My. God. That Macy Gray person is a huge woman. I heard she likes to eat little children.
#4 – Random Cheesemax on the Net
- click here | HOT HOT HOT! Naomi released on bail after assault charge
- click here | "Here, you don’t see big, fat women like you do in other parts of the world. I think Chanel is made for Asian women more than any other label" – quotable quote from Karl Lagerfeld
- click here | George Michael could be banned from the USA because of Marijuana
- click here | Angelina Jolie might give birth in Africa
- click here | You gotta love Britney. That woman is the epitome of white trash.
- click here | It’s been ages since I last went to Colette’s (one of my fave stores in Paris) website. Check out some of their goodies. I like the Karl Lagerfeld canderel set and the smoking rabbit toy.
#5 – Tell me it looks better on me than it does on her. J. Lo’s got my Dior Gaucho bag in red.
My driver’s here and I need to get a haircut. My hair is sooo friggin long. I’ll probably get highlights next week. It’s funny how I go to all these salons. One for my haircut, one for color and one for highlights.
I’m soooo glad I’m back in the city. I don’t know what it is but seriously, it’s been hell the past couple of days. I need to see my doc pretty soon cause I still have the damn cold and my cough ain’t gettin any better.
P.P.S.S. Believe it or not, I’m gonna take part in this HIV/AIDS Awareness campaign. I don’t know the specifics yet but I got invited to join this photo shoot this week. It’s about time for me to do something considering I’ve had a record of getting barebacked by hot young strangers whenever I travel. Yes, I love the feeling when someone young, gorgeous and rich shoots his spunk up my buttocks… this is exactly how people get the disease. Remember my HIV testing drama last year?? I’m sooo glad I came out negative and STD-free. I played it safe since then.
Don’t believe all that abstinence crap that the catholic church is preaching you. Everyone loves a good fucking session so please… Please, pretty please use condoms and play the safe way. I know it feels sooo good without rubber but we’re talking about life, disease and death here.
Remember boys and girls: all it takes is one fuck with an HIV-positive person (with a high viral load) and bam, you too can be this person too.
Email email@example.com or SMS +63-915-785-1492.
I have to go… I already smell like a goat.