52 Things You Don't Know About Me

Written By bryanboy

52 Things You Don’t Know About Me

040606_oldbry1. I love fast food.
2. I love sushi and miso soup.
3. I can’t stand fruit juices or shakes. I’d rather drink coca-cola.
4. I need to have at least 4 pillows on a bed before I can sleep.
5. I’m scared of the dark.
6. I usually think of death/dying right before I sleep.
7. I shave my armpits.
8. I’m not a big coffee drinker. I like iced cafe lattes though.
9. I love tea.
10. I’m a sucker for chick flicks.
11. I only have 610 tracks on my ipod.
12. All my crushes (and previous crushes) are always taken.
13. I was once accused of having sex with a former close friend’s ex-boyfriend. It’s not even true.
14. I have a tendency to buy friendships. I’ve been used and burned a ton of times but I kinda like it.
15. I like to dwell on negative issues and petty things.
16. I sometimes lie to shop assistants telling them "please reserve the item for me" when in reality I won’t go back cause either a) I can’t afford it or b) I don’t have the balls to tell them I don’t like it and they are pressuring me to get it.
17. I shop when I’m depressed. I never shop when I’m happy.
18. I never look at the bill whenever I eat at restaurants. I’d rather just hand them my card and sign the tab.
19. I haven’t "come out" to my parents.
20. I like jacking off to straight porn.
21. I’m a compulsive liar.
22. I once had a a batch of my dead grandfather’s blank prescription notepads (he’s a doctor). I forged his signature to buy sleeping pills. I literally fainted when I found out our maid threw them away.
040606_oldbry223. I have a small scar on my shoulder hence the fake tattoo.
24. I have this thing with stripes. I have all sorts of stripe-y tank tops, t-shirts, 3/4 sleeves, sweaters, etc.
25. For some strange reason, my (usually dry) hands tend to get very sweaty whenever I get out of the house at night.
26. I use women’s deodorant.
27. I got a real tattoo right beside my belly button. I got it when I was 14.
28. I got my first "paycheck" when I was 17. It was around US$250 and all I did was answer the phone and take messages for an American author. For an entire month.
29. I used to call those phone sex hotlines in the Carribean when I was 13/14. I found the phone numbers at the back of Rolling Stone Magazine. My favourite line to pick up guys? "Hi, My name is Amber. I’m 16 and I have a bald pussy". My English was soo bad that’s the only thing I used to say other than the faux moans and groans I did on the phone.
30. My first internet purchase was a canvas tote bag from L.L. Bean.
31. When I was a child, I used to go to this used magazine shop called "BookSale" to buy old and overpriced publications. What did I collect back then? Bloody JC Penney catalogs.
32. I got my first subscription to American Vogue in 1996.
33. I NEVER talk to strangers whenever I go out… unless they initiate the conversation. I still have emotional scars from trying to pick up this really cute guy when I was 16… I was at this game arcade place with my friends and I asked the guy "hey, where do I put the tokens" and he told me "it’s right there. are you blind?". It was soo traumatic I cried in the toilets.
34. I had my first "solo" holiday when I was 15. I spent an entire week in Boracay Island and I made friends with a trannie hair stylist called "Marie". She had a salon called "Marie’s Salon. For Males, Females and Third Sex"… or something like that. She called me "Miss Prada" because of the excessive amount of black nylon Prada items I had, including a tiny coin purse.
35.  On that same holiday, I met this German gay couple in their early 20s. One of them made me smoke pot. The other guy got so pissed that he punched his boyfriend. I asked them what was going on and he told me I was too young to do that stuff.
040606_oldbry336. I once owned a pair of 7-inch platform sneakers. They’re called Kelton sneakers. I wore them every damn day back when the Spice Girls were popular. Mighty bond and super glue were my best friends. I even wore them when I went to friggin Reykjavik, Iceland. I’ve never, ever tripped, not even once, in those shoes.
37. I went to my first rave when I was 16. I wore a black nylon skirt, I wrapped my entire torso in red yarn and I wore this massive blue fake fur jacket.
38. I became a member of the "Book of the Month" club when I was 14.
39. Romy & Michelle’s High School Reunion is my favourite movie.
40. I once spent an awful amount of time at Starbucks back when they just opened in the Philippines. All I did was drink a shitload of orange juice, coffee and eat california maki (yes!!). I even made friends with this prostitute who used to go with her clients to the hotel right beside it. We were chatting one night and I was bored out of my skull. She told me to hang out with her and we went to this bar called "Giraffe". Boy that bar was definitely something… faggots hang around on the left side of the bar while straight people stayed on the right side. The bar had a dress code where men (or boys) are required to wear leather shoes and a top that has a collar. I had a tank top on and the prostitute took off her top (a see-through black shirt) and told me to wear it.
41. That prostitute sobered up her act and reformed a couple of years ago. For some strange reason, she found out what my landline number is and she calls once or twice a year. She’s the ultimate stalker. My dad told her a couple of years ago to stop calling me. The last time she called was a few weeks ago and my dad told me that I should talk to her for posterity’s sake because she cleaned up her act and she’s "harmless".
42.  What’s the most frivolous item I once owned? It’s a tie between my Hermès chewing gum holder (mustard color) and black GG-logo Gucci flotation device/lifesaver.
43. I bleached my hair blonde. Once. Never again. I’m scarred for life.
44. My claim to fame was the fact that I was able to get a Birkin bag in 1 hour.
45. The last time I had sex was back on December 27, 2005 at Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris.
46. I always, always lie about my weight. Even I don’t know how much I weigh. I like to tell people I weigh 117 pounds. Thank god most people believe me though.
47. I’ve never paid for sex before. I did, however, hire a prostitute. I was 19 and bored out of my skull in London. I had this gay weekly magazine and called a muscle mary hooker at 2AM, asked him to drop by at my hotel. I told him to give me a foot and back massage. Oh, and I also asked him to paint my toenails pale blue. Best £70 EVER!
040606_oldbry4 48. When I went to St. Petersburg, Russia 2 years ago, some scary mafia-looking Russian man in his 30s offered to pay me US$2,000 to "teach him English" in his hotel room because he overheard me speak the language to my Russian friends inside a club. I politely said no. English my fucking arse, I’m sure all he wanted to do is fuck my little brown fanny.
49. I’m a member of the mile-high club.
50. A British Airways steward (note: male stewardess) gave me an entire bottle of champagne for me to enjoy because "he’s never seen anyone young and good looking in his cabin in a long time". I was only 17.
51. I have this thing with designer beach towels. Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Chanel, Hermès.
52. I know how to drive… but I don’t know how to park. The last time I drove a car was back in 2002. I got involved in 2 car accidents; I got REAR-ENDED. Twice.

Baboosh_3

PS. Discuss this blog post here.

30 Comments

  1. Out of all the posts I have read so far, this is definitely the most interesting and deepest. It’s great to see this side of you, not that I dislike the other side.

  2. That was really funny to read. lol
    You never know that scary mafia dude might really wanted to learn english haha lol

  3. Daniel

    number nine was the most funny one
    are your parents blind? or retarded?
    I’m sure your mother looks more like a guy than you do

  4. Neuron

    You haven’t come out to your parents yet? You weren’t even in!!!!

  5. You 4got number 53!!!!! I am in love with eRiCk and am goin 2 visit him in Lompoc, California.

  6. have to say.. number 47 is my personal favorite. i’ve wanted to do that since forever. :-)

  7. I love your blog, and it was really interesting (& funny) to read about “50 things you didn’t know about me”!

  8. I love you! #19 shocked me, too. COME OUT TO YOUR PARENTS ALREADY. They probably already fucking know :-P they sound nice, anyway, letting you wear 7″ sneakers and all.

  9. what i wanna know is how come you claim to be so rich, yet you can’t afford certain items?
    Do you even work? Or is it all of your parents disposable money… I’m not dissing, just curious.
    I always thought you were a male escort, lol

  10. mariko

    LOLZ! you haven’t come out to parents?! are you serious? i remember reading that your father “discovered” your blog right?
    questions for you:
    1. have you ever been a TOP?
    2. do you consider yourself part of the so-called GUCCI gang?
    3. aside from HANNAH MATRONIC, who do you consider as your BEST friend?
    4. have you ever shoplifted?
    5. do you think CELINE LOPEZ is fake and a backstabber?

  11. your parents don’t know your gay? It’s like not knowing the sea is wet.
    But I love you, bryan boy! You are the ultimate guilt pleasure…..

  12. bryanboy, you have to work over your 4th podcast! gawsh. it would be interesting if u have this entry as your 4th pcast. ;D

  13. 52 THINGS YOU DIDNT KNOW ABOUT ME:
    (17)I only shop when im depressed. I never shop when im happy.
    Actually that isent anything new, Its a classic signal of being unhappy.
    I dread to think how much money you have wasted in your short life.
    I am aware you have been very nasty about a deaf member of http://www.outeverywhere.com
    I hope your ashamed of yourself and If you still have anything on this website relating to him i suggest you remove it.
    Being nasty only brings misfortune in the long term. Karma will pay you back, so learn a little more humility and compassion for your fellow man, even when it pains you to do it.
    Having said all that, I like to see people with real spirit and I enoy your website, but dont base your whole life around superficial nonsense.
    I would kill for the oppertunities you’ve had in your life, but i sure has hell would appreciate them more and utilize them much better.
    I think you need a bit of loving, so perhaps you should look for a nice man, or genuine friendships. hangers on are nothing more than leeches. They tell you what you want to hear. Their word are worthless and they always have a hidden agenda.
    Good luck

  14. Thanks for sharing…after reading your blog for over a year now, I feel like I have an extra insight into the BryanBoy we all know and love!!
    Kisses!!

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